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Author Topic: Pope Resigns  (Read 8889 times)

Cthulhu

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Re: Pope Resigns
« Reply #105 on: February 13, 2013, 01:51:34 am »

You know what they say, "When in Rome, put your dick in whatever, we don't care."
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Frumple

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Re: Pope Resigns
« Reply #106 on: February 13, 2013, 02:12:22 am »

I've always thought the Ancient Mediterraneans must have been pretty easy to seduce, considering how often they wind up fathering/mothering godly kids by way of a divine bull or swan or whatever.
Well, what the hell else is there to do in that time period? When you're illiterate and poor, about all that's left after talkin' and workin' is fuckin'. So they did. And considering the state of hygiene in general in ye' olden times, divine bull/swan/etc. may have been a step up in aesthetic appreciation from the more bipedal options.
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Sir Finkus

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Re: Pope Resigns
« Reply #107 on: February 13, 2013, 02:44:05 am »

Just throwing this out there, but if Zues came down to earth, I'd seriously consider fucking him.  I'm not gay, nor do I like animals in that way, but how do you pass something like that up?

King DZA

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Re: Pope Resigns
« Reply #108 on: February 13, 2013, 03:25:30 am »

Hmm, I wouldn't really consider myself to be a person of any particular religion, but I think that I may just want to become the new pope. Both for the high levels of general praise and influence that come with the position, and for the opportunity to be the first pope to ever have the name "Lockendroppit", which I just know is too good to pass up forever.

Just throwing this out there, but if Zues came down to earth, I'd seriously consider fucking him.  I'm not gay, nor do I like animals in that way, but how do you pass something like that up?

I'm fairly sure everyone has a mental list of at least a few people they'd fuck purely for the novelty of it.

MonkeyHead

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Re: Pope Resigns
« Reply #109 on: February 13, 2013, 03:32:56 am »

If I ever When I become Pope, I am so naming myself Pope "Condom Using Homosexual Black Man Darwinist the First" just to make sure no fucker forgets me.

10ebbor10

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Re: Pope Resigns
« Reply #110 on: February 13, 2013, 04:08:22 am »

If I ever When I become Pope, I am so naming myself Pope "Condom Using Homosexual Black Man Darwinist the First" just to make sure no fucker forgets me.
Just as a note, you have to choose your name before the Conclave is opened. Accidents happen.
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Sir Finkus

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Re: Pope Resigns
« Reply #111 on: February 13, 2013, 04:12:48 am »

If I ever When I become Pope, I am so naming myself Pope "Condom Using Homosexual Black Man Darwinist the First" just to make sure no fucker forgets me.

Actually, the Catholic church accepts evolution, and they aren't really all that racist.  They even seem to accept homosexual relationships as long as one of the participants is an altar boy.

Condoms are the Devil's work though.

Sigulbard

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Re: Pope Resigns
« Reply #112 on: February 13, 2013, 05:47:38 am »

The real reason why the Pope quit was that Cracked released a video that made fun of his clothes.
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Donuts

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Re: Pope Resigns
« Reply #113 on: February 13, 2013, 06:19:13 am »

Pretty incredible. Hasn't happened in what, 600 years or something?
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10ebbor10

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Re: Pope Resigns
« Reply #114 on: February 13, 2013, 06:19:54 am »

Pretty incredible. Hasn't happened in what, 600 years or something?
Yeah, most popes died before they could quit.
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Donuts

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Re: Pope Resigns
« Reply #115 on: February 13, 2013, 06:21:27 am »

If I become Pope, I am going to wear a suit that looks like a cross, and religiously bitchslap people.
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Sigulbard

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Re: Pope Resigns
« Reply #116 on: February 13, 2013, 06:31:45 am »

...I am going to wear a suit that looks like a cross...

Like Jesus did?
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RedKing

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Re: Pope Resigns
« Reply #117 on: February 13, 2013, 09:36:08 am »

I always hoped the Pope's miter was so large because it secretly housed the telecommunications suite he uses to talk to God.

Or else it contained an assortment of gear for fighting demons. Like a cross between Van Helsing and Inspector Gadget.

"Go, go Holy Water Cannon!"
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MaximumZero

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Re: Pope Resigns
« Reply #118 on: February 13, 2013, 09:49:54 am »

Maybe that's why Ratzinger/Benedict had to retire. He just couldn't keep his head up anymore.
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miauw62

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Re: Pope Resigns
« Reply #119 on: February 13, 2013, 10:19:24 am »

Or mayby it's a cleverly disguised alien parasite, and Jesus was the original alien?
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