I think that there's something like, over 100 different species of venomous snake in Australia. No joke. 9 of the top 10 most venomous snakes in the world live in Australia (and 9 of the top 9 live in Australia), and despite this I have a small saying concerning snakes in Australia:
If you can't see any snakes, it's because the spiders have eaten them.
I have that saying mainly because of this:
If you listen carefully, you can almost hear it whisper; "I swallowed your god...".THAT, is the Sydney Funnel Web Spider. This black armoured HELLSPAWN, is one of the most venomous and vicious creatures in existence. It lurks in shoes, dark places, laundry left lying around, or basically anywhere it wants and it goddamn ambushes anyone that dares even look at it funny. Unlike any other spider, it actually chases any poor bastard that it chooses as it's victim and bites them repeatedly with fangs that can puncture shoes and toenails. People in Sydney actually have to build barricades to try and keep these things out of their homes.
And then there's the horror story about the blue ringed octopus. It's about 10 to 20cm big and it's bite is pretty much painless, you would hardly notice it at all in fact, but this is only a ruse for the effects of the venom. It works fast (it's typically said that you have enough time to smoke a final cigarette before the venom takes hold) and it's effects are horrifying: It completely paralyses your entire body and stops your heart. In order to live, you need either constant CPR to be hooked up to a machine in a hospital, completely helpless to do anything as there is NO antivenin for this AT ALL. And the worst part is that you are completely awake and aware the whole time, trapped inside your body and unable to do anything for a whole 24 hours.
Yeah. Australian wildlife doesn't mess around.
And we don't ride kangaroos because they would disembowel you with their hind legs if you tried.
Also, this because it's both funny and surprisingly true: