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[penguinofhonor]

Well... I don't see why not at this point. You might have to deal with some special circumstances, but nothing that can't be handled easily enough.

Turn 33
^{<- Turn 32 | Turn 34 ->}

Continue feigning business. Or actually get busy, if I...this is coming out wrong, isn't it?

4. You rapidly finish some old paperwork as the lights in IT dim and finally shut off completely. You're pretty satisfied with your progress, even if it was some pretty unimportant stuff. You've seen people throw away those forms instead of completing them and not get in trouble.

Investigate sobbing. If source cannot be found, forage for food.

1. You follow the sobbing over a few cubicles and find its source. It's one of your coworkers, Anita D. McWallace.

You're not really sure what to say in this situation. "Uh... what's wrong?"

"They said... they said I had to kill someone." She turns towards you. "Or they'll kill me." She slashes at you with a rather sharp knife (5) dealing 1 damage and 2 bleeding.

Hey kids, do you know what time it is? It's time for the Eleventh Hour Super Power!

4. Your fancy superpower of choice is regaining consciousness (you still feel a bit unsteady, though). You use it to push the door further open, shining more light on the shade and damaging it considerably. It tries to slash at you (3-1) but, luckily for you, it misses. Apparently it's not nearly as deadly in the light.

"I work for Billy Mayfly, and I'm a superhero."
Jake points to scales.
"Let me in please!"

6. "Oh, of course," the other man says. "Come on in." The door opens and you walk through. Inside is what used to be where two hallways crossed, but it's now been blocked off by the portable walls.

There are three people inside who can only be described as looking like space marines. They're wearing bulky dark gray armor with cross patterns on it (+1 defense, +2 more defense against explosives), and on their arms are what look like large retractable blades (1d3+1 damage, multi hit 2).

"Welcome, ambassador. I'm private Francis of Mayfly Industries." The other two soldiers are women. "These are Privates Quentin and Tabitha. I hope your 'super powers' are formidable, because we've just been given an opening to claim a gate to the east and you're going to help us get it. We just hope whatever crippled those plants is on our side."

"lets go"

Grab tea and head for the top floor

5. You grab your tea and head over to the elevator, using your perfected sip-and-walk technique. You press the 15 button and swipe an ID card that someone left in here.

Clara sips more impatiently. "If what I've been told is correct, the 15th floor is where your company has been performing some experiments. Mine has as well. If we get to the labs in the southeast section we should be able to link the two." You weren't aware Mayfly was the kind of company that had experiments, but you have no reason to not believe her.

The elevator opens and you walk into a north-south hallway. At the south end of it there appears to be a steel wall and door blocking the way.

Status
Time - 11:05 AM Tuesday Febuary 5 2013

Spoiler: Darvi (click to show/hide)

Name: Ronald X. Brooke
0/10 HP
Department: IT
Location: 15th floor - North (Closet)
Inventory: A bag of potato chips
Abilities: Troubleshoot
Status: Woozy

Spoiler: scapheap (click to show/hide)

Name: Clair R. King
7/10 HP
Department: Finance
Location: 15th floor - Elevator
Weapon: Letter opener
Inventory: Teacup, 3 teabags
Abilities: Accounting Degree, stabber

Spoiler: borno (click to show/hide)

Name: Jake T. Hallenstein, the Green Maid
7/11 HP
Department: HR
Location: 15th floor - South
Weapon: Pipe of Vengeance
Inventory: Empty
Abilities: Sadism, barmaid, sparse green scales

Spoiler: GreatWyrmGold (click to show/hide)

Name: Aiden Brack Carlson
10/10 HP
Department: IT
Location: 11th floor - IT
Inventory: Empty
Abilities: Troubleshoot, one arm, metallic interface surface
Status: Affected by an unknown power (2)

Spoiler: Harry Baldman (click to show/hide)

Name: Martin M. Marigold
8/10 HP (1 bleeding)
Department: Finance
Location: 11th floor - Finance
Weapon: Letter opener
Inventory: Half a chicken sandwich, two pens, notebook
Abilities: Accounting Degree

NPCs

Spoiler: Anita D. McWallace (click to show/hide)

10/10 HP
Department: Finance
Location: 11th floor - Finance
Weapon: Ritual Blade
Inventory: ?
Abilities: Abacus Aptitude

Spoiler: Clara R. Regia (click to show/hide)

8/10 HP
Department: Finance
Location: 15th floor - Elevator
Weapon: Ritual Blade
Inventory: Teacup, 2 teabags
Abilities: Abacus Aptitude

Spoiler: GRU Class Shade (click to show/hide)

An unstable creature made out of concentrated darkness. It feeds on the life force of the living to prolong its existence.
7/13 HP
Department: Security
Location: 15th floor - North (Closet)
Attacks: Shadow claw, envelop
Abilities: Shadowy summons

Spoiler: Private Francis (click to show/hide)

10/10 HP
Division: Infantry
Location: 15th floor - South
Weapon: Zealot's blades
Armor: Blast armor
Inventory: 3 grenades

Spoiler: Private Quentin (click to show/hide)

10/10 HP
Division: Infantry
Location: 15th floor - South
Weapon: Zealot's blades
Armor: Blast armor
Inventory: 3 grenades

Spoiler: Private Tabitha (click to show/hide)

10/10 HP
Division: Infantry
Location: 15th floor - South
Weapon: Zealot's blades
Armor: Blast armor
Inventory: 3 grenades

[borno]

"... You're saying you don't know me? I was the one who disabled the plants, I'm The GreenMaid!"
Jake paused, wasn't he supposed to go see Billy after the mission? He internally shrugs. He'll become a vigilante instead, and hopefully he'll get his own theme song!
"And sure, I'll help. Let's go!"
Claim the gate to the east, attacking any enemies with my PIPE OF VENGEANCE! on the way.
((How did this happen? At first my character was a hipster who was obsessed with 'sick beats', and now he's a mutant with delusions of grandeur? My characterisation sucks.))

[scapheap]

"This is new, I think."

Open door

[Harry Baldman]

"You seem to have a knife."

Martin wipes off some blood off his wound and looks at the red stain on his fingers.

"I want it."

Disarm her and take the knife for myself.

[penguinofhonor]

Two people missed this round. Get your actions in!

Turn 34
^{<- Turn 33 | Turn 35 ->}

"... You're saying you don't know me? I was the one who disabled the plants, I'm The GreenMaid!"
Jake paused, wasn't he supposed to go see Billy after the mission? He internally shrugs. He'll become a vigilante instead, and hopefully he'll get his own theme song!
"And sure, I'll help. Let's go!"
Claim the gate to the east, attacking any enemies with my PIPE OF VENGEANCE! on the way.

4. You follow the soldiers through the east door and down a short hallway. Ahead is a door labelled "IDP Laboratory." Private Quentin pushes you to the front of the group. "Open it, Green Maid."

You brace yourself and charge at the door, running through it and into the room. Inside is bewildering - a huge, department-sized chamber filled with strange technology. At the center of it is what looks like a large portal. It's a circular structure made of shiny white metal with a large opening. A deep hum from it fills the room.

All around it are shriveled vines and fumbling plant-men in lab coats. "Amazing," Francis says. "I didn't know you were capable of this. And it's ours for the taking."

"This is new, I think."

Open door

1. You sense that some crazy action movie stuff has happened around here, and decide that means the best way to open the door would be with a flying kick. Unfortunately, your leg does not stand up to the metal very well. You bend it painfully and take 3 damage.

"You seem to have a knife."

Martin wipes off some blood off his wound and looks at the red stain on his fingers.

"I want it."

Disarm her and take the knife for myself.

6. You grab the knife by the blade, taking 3 damage and 2 bleeding, and pull it from her grasp. It was an unsurprisingly frightening display, and McWallace flees.

Hit the thing!

1. The shade seems to be... dissolving. While probably a good thing, it makes it a little harder to hit. Your fist passes through air that made up the creature a minute ago.

It desparately strikes back (6-1) and scratches you for 1 damage. Not very threatening.

Keep working!

3. The next paperwork you turn to is a bit more challenging and you have to fudge a fiew fields, but you're pretty sure the result is passable.

Your mind wanders a bit and you sense 23342 and Doris L. Johnson are heading your way. In addition, you're sensing something faintly several floors above you.

Status
Time - 11:10 AM Tuesday Febuary 5 2013

Spoiler: Darvi (click to show/hide)

Name: Ronald X. Brooke
-1/10 HP
Department: IT
Location: 15th floor - North (Closet)
Inventory: A bag of potato chips
Abilities: Troubleshoot
Status: Woozy

Spoiler: scapheap (click to show/hide)

Name: Clair R. King
4/10 HP
Department: Finance
Location: 15th floor - South
Weapon: Letter opener
Inventory: Teacup, 3 teabags
Abilities: Accounting Degree, stabber

Spoiler: borno (click to show/hide)

Name: Jake T. Hallenstein, the Green Maid
7/11 HP
Department: HR
Location: 15th floor - IDP Laboratory
Weapon: Pipe of Vengeance
Inventory: Empty
Abilities: Sadism, barmaid, sparse green scales

Spoiler: GreatWyrmGold (click to show/hide)

Name: Aiden Brack Carlson
10/10 HP
Department: IT
Location: 11th floor - IT
Inventory: Empty
Abilities: Troubleshoot, one arm, metallic interface surface
Status: Affected by an unknown power (2)

Spoiler: Harry Baldman (click to show/hide)

Name: Martin M. Marigold
4/10 HP (2 bleeding)
Department: Finance
Location: 11th floor - Finance
Weapon: Ritual Blade
Inventory: Letter opener, half a chicken sandwich, two pens, notebook
Abilities: Accounting Degree

NPCs

Spoiler: Clara R. Regia (click to show/hide)

8/10 HP
Department: Finance
Location: 15th floor - South
Weapon: Ritual Blade
Inventory: Teacup, 2 teabags
Abilities: Abacus Aptitude

Spoiler: GRU Class Shade (click to show/hide)

An unstable creature made out of concentrated darkness. It feeds on the life force of the living to prolong its existence.
3/13 HP
Department: Security
Location: 15th floor - North (Closet)
Attacks: Shadow claw, envelop
Abilities: Shadowy summons

Spoiler: Private Francis (click to show/hide)

10/10 HP
Division: Infantry
Location: 15th floor - IDP Laboratory
Weapon: Zealot's blades
Armor: Blast armor
Inventory: 3 grenades

Spoiler: Private Quentin (click to show/hide)

10/10 HP
Division: Infantry
Location: 15th floor - IDP Laboratory
Weapon: Zealot's blades
Armor: Blast armor
Inventory: 3 grenades

Spoiler: Private Tabitha (click to show/hide)

10/10 HP
Division: Infantry
Location: 15th floor - IDP Laboratory
Weapon: Zealot's blades
Armor: Blast armor
Inventory: 3 grenades

[scapheap]

Use hand to open the door

[Harry Baldman]

She is weak, and therefore unworthy of such an instrument. She is also obviously unworthy of a whole lot of other things. Let's take a look.

Now that she has fled, search McWallace's cubicle for anything useful, such as lunch, bandages or other sharp objects. Should lunch be found, eat it. Should bandages be found, use them to bind my hand. Should sharp objects be found, pocket them. Finally, should any clues about McWallace's condition be found, examine them carefully.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Properly submit forms. Find somewhere light to...I dunno, I'll figure out when I get there.

[borno]

"Hmm... Maybe this is the source of the strange things that have been happening! I've gotta disable it somehow! Stay here you guys!"
Run into opening, be generally crazy on the way.

[penguinofhonor]

Sorry it's been so long since the last update. I hope everyone remembers where we left off.

Turn 1413
^{<- Turn 1412 | Turn 1414 ->}

Coin flip: tails. This turn you only know the speed of the herd of quantum buffalo, not their location. They deal half damage but get +2 dodge.

Form army of self-clones into mobius strip.

1. You attempt to form your army into a shape with questionable geometry to escape the gravitational pull of the galactic core. Your plans are foiled when more alternate versions of yourself appear out of the aether nearby, weighing you down even more and causing you to accelerate towards the supermassive black hole.

The herd of quantum buffalo attempt to trample you (3) but they get pretty fucking confused about which you is actually you.

I sing a song about flowers and rainbows to charm the elves.

5. You sing a song and another elf comes to untie you.

Scratch self.

6. Oh yeah. You don't know how you do it, but you manage to reach that spot on your back that you could never manage to reach before. The satisfaction is legendary. You try to pull your appendage back, but... crap, the claws must have gotten stuck in your back scales. It's not much of a problem, though. You've got a few dozen more limbs.

Ask Abraham Lincoln for aid.

4. "Lincoln," you shout over the roar of the horde. "I need your help. This is a request from one President to another."

He looks over. "Just four score and seven more of these bloodsuckers. Then we'll get out of here." At the rate you're going at, it won't take too much longer. But you hope for the people of Forks, Washington that you'll be on your way sooner rather than later.

Fossilize.

6. Your years of inactivity and dormancy in the earth are about to pay off. You feel the minerals seep into your bones, turning you into a nigh-indestructible rock bone monster.

You begin pushing your way to the surface only to discover that someone seems to have paved a parking lot over where you were buried. Crap, it took them a long time to discover the last guy this happened to.

Status
Time - 3:30 AM Monday April 1 2013

Spoiler: Darvi (click to show/hide)

Name: Ronald X. Brooke
0/10 HP
Department: IT
Location: Sediment - North America
Inventory: Four rocks, one issue of Rolling Stone magazine
Abilities: Fossilized
Status: Buried under a parking lot

Spoiler: scapheap (click to show/hide)

Name: Clair R. King
4/10 HP
Department: Finance
Location: Galactic center
Weapon: Letter closer
Inventory: No tea
Abilities: Calculus Degree, experienced mail clerk
Status: Being pulled towards the supermassive black hole

Spoiler: borno (click to show/hide)

Name: Jake T. Hallenstein, the Green French Maid
107/110 HP
Department: HR
Location: Somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse
Weapon: Intergalactic Backscratcher
Inventory: 1 honey pie
Abilities: Sadism, barmaid, green space monster, local legend

Spoiler: GreatWyrmGold (click to show/hide)

Name: Aiden Brack Carlson
10/10 HP
Government Branch: Executive
Location: Oval Office - White House
Inventory: Declaration of Independence
Abilities: Troubleshoot, cyborg arm, president of the United States

Spoiler: Harry Baldman (click to show/hide)

Name: Martin M. Marigold
7/10 HP
Department: Finance
Location: Fancy Forest - Elf Planet
Inventory: Empty
Abilities: Accounting Degree, true heir to the Iron Throne
Status: Naked, tied to a tree

NPCs

Spoiler: Horde of Clairs (click to show/hide)

466/500 Clairs
Department: Finance
Location: Galactic center
Inventory: ?
Status: Being pulled towards the supermassive black hole

Spoiler: Abraham Lincoln, Plant Zombie, Plant Vampire Hunter (click to show/hide)

7/8 HP
Government Branch: Executive
Location: Oval Office - White House
Weapon: Oswald's Rifle
Inventory: ?

Spoiler: Horde of Plant Vampires (click to show/hide)

87/226 Plant Vampires
Department: Recruitment
Location: Oval Office - White House
Inventory: ?

Spoiler: Herd of Quantum Buffalo (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Elf 1 (click to show/hide)

10/10 HP
Department: Frolicking
Location: Fancy Forest - Elf Planet
Inventory: ?
Abilities: ?

Spoiler: Elf 2 (click to show/hide)

10/10 HP
Department: Frolicking
Location: Fancy Forest - Elf Planet
Inventory: ?
Abilities: ?

[scapheap]

Dispelled April fools.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Was that turn canon?

[scapheap]

Was that turn canon?

Probable not, farewell Abraham Lincoln, Plant Zombie, Plant Vampire Hunter.