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[dragnar]

"So... I'm hearing: Sell the swords for a new trophy rack type thing. Got it!" Well, at least he's obedient. Even if he did mutter something about weapons being for losers on the way to... Oh, what's this now? The moment he entered the town shop, you got linked into Magenet(TM): Your first and only stop for all your quest-related needs! Gah, and it comes with a pile of magic popups! Well, whatever, once you've got that cleared out (apart from the talking hat that apparently serves as your assistant for this thing?) this Magenet thing actually looks pretty useful.

"Welcome to Magenet! I see that this is your first time using our service! Would you like to: Request a Quest? Hire a mage? Become a dark lord? Register as a hero? Or check your MageBucks account?"

Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)

Owner: Kickass McManly
Equipped: FISTS OF STEEL, pants
Abilities: Head-crushing
Gold: 100

Inventory:
Homeward Compass
Magic Map(Always shows a map of the area you're in)
Luck Gauntlet

Home upgrades:
Empty trophy case above the mantle

[agertor]

Hit on the shop keep. And I don't mean flirting. Claim this shop in the name of all things made of love.

[Aerie]

Hit on the talking hat.

[dragnar]

Hit on the talking hat.

...Just to be sure: You do realize you're suggesting hitting on a parody of Clippit, right?

[scapheap]

Hit on the talking hat.

...Just to be sure: You do realize you're suggesting hitting on a parody of Clippit, right?

Yes we are.

[Remuthra]

Become a dark lord.
We're a wisdom amulet, we can corrupt the mind of this idiot of an adventurer to serve us.

[gman8181]

Become a dark lord.
We're a wisdom amulet, we can corrupt the mind of this idiot of an adventurer to serve us.

+1

[Jbg97]

Hit on the talking hat.

I whole heartedly support this, if only just to mess with the GM.

[Aerie]

...Just to be sure: You do realize you're suggesting hitting on a parody of Clippit, right?

Your point?

[dragnar]

You make several exceedingly cliche advances on the magical assistant, prompting an almost immediate response: "It seems you're trying to flirt with a partially-sentient spell! Would you like to: Contact a psychiatrist? Purchase the sensation of drunkenness? Have me nod and pretend to be impressed?"

The selection of the 'become a dark lord' option goes much more smoothly: You are instantly presented with a selection of currently unoccupied dungeons, volcanos, and abandoned towers in need of someone to staff them with monsters and plot evilly within. There is one slight snag though: They all cost MageBucks(TM), and while you can earn a salary providing quests for adventurers (And 100% of the belongings of any who fail to stop your plots) you don't appear to have the capital required to begin.

A quick search through the help menus tells you two more things: First, the talking hat it uselessly slow. And second, 'MageBucks' are actually some form of raw magic used as currency by wizards and sentient magic items like yourself. Meaning to get any, you'll need to either find a natural wellspring of magic, or disenchant some junk.

[Remuthra]

Let's disenchant some junk!
Tell the adventurer to disenchant 2 of the swords for now, along with the compass.
How does that work for getting us started?
EDIT: Disenchant the gauntlet too.

[GreatWyrmGold]

You make several exceedingly cliche advances on the magical assistant, prompting an almost immediate response: "It seems you're trying to flirt with a partially-sentient spell! Would you like to: Contact a psychiatrist? Purchase the sensation of drunkenness? Have me nod and pretend to be impressed?"

Contact a psychiatrist.

[scapheap]

Have me nod and pretend to be impressed?"

Just like real life!

[Aerie]

Disenchant the adventurer for some MageBucks.

Failing that, disenchant the compass and the gauntlet; they're probably going to end up being useless.

[gman8181]

I'd rather keep the compass just in case but yeah, disenchant away.

Edit: You're probably right about the compass not really useful in game, but in real life I have a paranoia about getting lost which is undoubtedly transferring over into this game for me.