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[dragnar]

...But you are this neat magic amulet of wisdom one found! Maybe this one will survive a little longer than the last five. (Look, how were you supposed to know that spider demons don't prefer flies to adventurers? It was an honest mistake! Freaking fragile humans.)

...There's been some nasty rumors flying around that you're actually a cursed amulet of wisdom, but you're pretty sure the people spreading those are just jealous. And jerks. And their mothers didn't love them. So! Let's see what poor sod picked up the amulet this time...

Name:
Class:
Special ability:
YOUR special ability:

[Aerie]

Name: Gaylord Butkus
Class: Cheese Maker
Special Ability: Making Cheese
YOUR special ability: Swap wearer's gender at will.

[Jbg97]

Name: Kickass McManly
Class: Manly Man
Special Ability: Can crush skulls between any part of his body, including the testicles (especially the testicles).
YOUR special ability: Wisdom n' shit. You wanna fly or somethin'? Go find a goddamn amulet of flying.

[freeformschooler]

Name: Gaylord Butkus
Class: Cheese Maker
Special Ability: Making Cheese
YOUR special ability: Swap wearer's gender at will.

Truly amazing. +1.

[racnor]

Name: Thomas Vane
Class: Relic hunter
Special ability: locates nearby artifacts
Our special ability: ray of stupidity, drains wisdom from target

[GreatWyrmGold]

Name: Flame Rubynemesis
Gender: Female
Class: Jeweler
Class Ability: Gemcrafting
Personal Ability: Gem Magic

[Polypian]

Name: Kickass McManly
Class: Manly Man
Special Ability: Can crush skulls between any part of his body, including the testicles (especially the testicles).
YOUR special ability: Wisdom n' shit. You wanna fly or somethin'? Go find a goddamn amulet of flying.

+1

[rabidgam3r]

Name: Kickass McManly
Class: Manly Man
Special Ability: Can crush skulls between any part of his body, including the testicles (especially the testicles).
YOUR special ability: Wisdom n' shit. You wanna fly or somethin'? Go find a goddamn amulet of flying.

+1

I am a person nobody cares about, and I approve of this post.

[MrWillsauce]

Name: M.C. Hammer
Class: Bard
Special ability: Hammertime
YOUR special ability: Extremely carcinogenic

[Corai]

Name: Kickass McManly
Class: Manly Man
Special Ability: Can crush skulls between any part of his body, including the testicles (especially the testicles).
YOUR special ability: Wisdom n' shit. You wanna fly or somethin'? Go find a goddamn amulet of flying.

+1

I am a person nobody cares about, and I approve of this post.

I will steal somebody's +1 with my kobold powers, then store the +1 here.

[scapheap]

Name: Flame Rubynemesis
Gender: Female
Class: Jeweler
Class Ability: Gemcrafting
Personal Ability: Gem Magic

I like this one +1

[dragnar]

(Huh, closer than these initial votes usually end up!)

Ah right. You've had the great fortune to be picked up by the biggest dumbest bag of testosterone and hot blood ever. You're pretty sure he's not even lying about his ridiculous name, probably got it changed or something to 'prove his manliness'. Well, whatever. Point is, you're now stuck around the neck of a stereotypical meatshield, who is currently humming a song about his own awesomeness while he marches back to town from his latest haul.

"So, you, amulet thing! Whatcha think I should do with all this loot? I'm thinking I should melt it down into some kind of awesome headgear or somethin'! Maybe some shades..."

Loot? Yeah, you can see he has more than enough of that: Three magic swords with a variety of elemental powers, a compass that always points home, some kind of magic map, and... Good lord, this buffoon found an Artifact in that dungeon! Unfortunately, it's impossible to tell what Artifacts actually do without some high level magic, so all you can tell is that it's a Luck-aspected gauntlet of some sort.

Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)

Owner: Kickass McManly
Equipped: FISTS OF STEEL, pants
Abilities: Head-crushing

Inventory:
Ice elemental sword
Fire elemental sword
Dark elemental sword
Homeward Compass
Magic Map(Always shows a map of the area you're in)
Luck Gauntlet

[Aerie]

Tell this dumbass to wear the gauntlet and sell everything else except the map (it might come in handy for you. Not so much him; he probably can't even read.) Then he can buy all the goddamn shades he wants.

If he REALLY wants to, he can keep one of the swords because there's PROBABLY some things that cannot be punched fuck that, everything can be punched.

[Jbg97]

Keep it all. Pick up bitches with the sweet ass swords, always find your way home after a night of getting drunk with the compass, and always get laid on the first date with the luck gauntlet.

[gman8181]

Place the loot on your mantle place.  If you don't own a mantle place, get one.