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Author Topic: Best Fight Reports?  (Read 2129 times)

vjek

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Re: Best Fight Reports?
« Reply #15 on: January 30, 2013, 11:08:59 am »

I've been testing forgotten beast combat, and recently had a forgotten beast push one Axedwarf so hard, he was propelled into another Axedwarf, where he promptly exploded.

Now that's some FINE kinetic energy at work, right there.

McMagma

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Re: Best Fight Reports?
« Reply #16 on: January 30, 2013, 12:41:38 pm »

Best kill ever...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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EvilBob22

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Re: Best Fight Reports?
« Reply #17 on: January 30, 2013, 01:30:02 pm »

Best kill ever...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Nice one!

My favorite from one of my games is a 4 year old killing a forgotten beast with one punch.
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I will run the experiment to completion anyway, however. Even if the only reason why there is a punctured equilibrium in the fortress is because I have been brutally butchering babies
EDIT: I just remembered that dwarves can't equip halberds. That might explain why the squads that use them always die.

TruePikachu

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Re: Best Fight Reports?
« Reply #18 on: January 30, 2013, 03:39:33 pm »

Adventure Mode had a vamp get killed in one punch by a human child.
"You look like a mighty warrier indeed."
"I'm one!"
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Oaktree

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Re: Best Fight Reports?
« Reply #19 on: January 30, 2013, 07:58:18 pm »

The two I remember most are from older forts:

First was a one line combat report as a group of militia dwarves attacked a few goblin ambush squads in a tunnel.  Both groups got spread out while charging at each other and the lead dwarf (a spear master) met the lead goblin - and it looked like he simply ran by the goblin leaving a corpse there.  Checked the combat report and it was a one line "The Spearmaster Urist McHardAss kicks the goblin in the head, bruising the brain, jamming the skull through the brain, etc. etc.

I just visualized it as the Spearmaster vaulting up on his spear shaft, delivering the kung-fu "boot to the head", landing and continuing to run down the hall.

=

The second was a mason in my first fortress off in a access tunnel getting ambushed.  Luckily I wrote this one up in a Word Document:

CHAPTER 19 – The Saga of Lokum Adilibel
Grand Master Mason Lokum Adilibel, one of the founders of Ok Okbod heads to work in the Depot Tunnel.  Entrance #2 has gotten a new gate and the entrance area has been ordered roofed by the mayor.  As he turns into the northern extension to reach the new work area a shadowy figure jumps out at him.  GOBLIN!  Lokum staggers as the thief jams a silver dagger into his lower body and twists it.  He kicks clear of the goblin and stumbles south towards safety as more goblins emerge from hiding farther north in the tunnel .  Arrows start to clatter on the ramp behind him as he staggers to an alarm pull and then crawls onto the main tunnel level.   Lokum faints for a moment as the alarm tocsin starts to sound.

Coming to, Lokum starts to crawl eastward towards the fortress gate.  Two arrows strike him in the leg as the goblins archers come into sight again.  And their leader, a lanky goblin with a war hammer, approaches.  Lokum attempts to dodge the strikes but the goblin incessantly pounds on his arms and legs while easily deflecting his weak counterattacks.  The archers ignore him at this point and head down the tunnel s looking for other dwarves .  The goblin leader laughs.
Lokum lurches to his feet and charges the goblin.  The attack misses, but they collide and goblin and dwarf collapse in a pile on the ground.  Lokum draws back and solidly punches the goblin in the center of the back.  The hammer goblin breaks clear and stands up, but he is certainly hurt .  He is also no longer laughing.  The nearby archers start firing again and Lokum is struck by half a dozen copper arrows.

The hammer goblin closes in to finish things off.  Lokum rolls into the goblin to avoid the attack and takes the opportunity to bite the goblin in the right leg and grab a solid hold on the left leg.  Their field of fire temporarily blocks the archers shift position.  The hammer goblin struggles to break free.

Lokum suddenly stands and starts shaking and swinging the hammer goblin about.  Two more arrows strike home, including one into the already serious lower body wound.  Undeterred, the goblin is shaken about a few more times and then tossed across the tunnel.  Exhausted, Lokum finally surrenders to the pain and collapses to the tunnel floor.  Before he passes out he gets the joy of watching the hammer goblin expire. 

His first kill after twelve years in the fortress.

The three archer goblins in the area lose interest in dispatching an unconscious dwarf and head eastward into the trapped section of the tunnel.  They are taken out by traps and the militia. Soon afterwards a rescue team comes into the tunnel.  To their surprise Adilibel is still alive and is immediately carried to the hospital for Dr Vucar  to look at.

The diagnosis is not pretty.  The nerve damage in one arm cannot be fixed.  Beyond that there are broken bones and severe lacerations in all four limbs plus the very serious gut wound.  Specialists are called for since immobilization of all four limbs is called for in addition to cleaning, suturing, and applying dressings to all the cuts.
A month later Lokum still lies in the hospitial.  Twenty-two wound serious locations are still in the process of being treated with sutures, dressing, setting, cleaning, or a combination of treatments.  Two locations have infections, with the serious gut wound being the most serious.  Whether he hangs on is still in doubt, but progress is being made.  If he does pull through the only permanent damage will be some nerve damage in one hand that will impair his ability to grasp.  In the next couple of weeks casts were applied to immobilize the broken limbs and carry out the last diagnosed treatments.  The infections are still an issue.

Two months later he visits the site of his fight with the goblin… 
… wearing four casts, two splits, and multiple dressings on his body.





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gestahl

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Re: Best Fight Reports?
« Reply #20 on: January 30, 2013, 09:04:54 pm »

A version or two ago, when disassembling something above you was dangerous, someone had a log fall down their main stair and kill several dwarves. So I nominate the named combat log.
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Togre

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Re: Best Fight Reports?
« Reply #21 on: January 30, 2013, 10:15:32 pm »

This isn't a best per say, but it certainly made me shake my head the most.

I learned about the 45 or 46 combat log page cap when I had 3 marksdwarfs and 3 macedwarfs spend about a month...tenderizing a Hedgehog man.  Blow after blow to the upper body, some with damage, some with none.  Finally I got sick of it and sent a sworddwarf to finish him off with something pointy.  I can just see those 6 demented bastard waling (sp?) away on the hog and laughing diabolically as blood flew and it writhed in agony.
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"Hey guys, you know how I've been repeatedly injuring you over and over again for the purpose of training up a team of high skilled doctors? Yeah well we didn't actually need to do that."

Coalwalker

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Re: Best Fight Reports?
« Reply #22 on: January 31, 2013, 09:06:40 am »

waling (sp?)
Whaling. :)

I can't offer my 'best' exactly, but a typical day in Squidworms involves the militia commander grabbing hedgehogs and capybaras by the tongue and flipping them around. He has a perfectly functional battleaxe, he's just got this sick drive to grab creatures by the tongue and throw them.
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So to recap, one minute everything was going just great, and the next we have caverns collapsing, firebreathing cave beasts, underground brush fires, a screaming swarm of poltergheists back for revenge, zombies in the corridors, drunken brawls in the dining halls, magma pouring into the caverns, rotting miasma everywhere, insanity, madness, and a flying crocodile heading right towards us!

Psieye

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Re: Best Fight Reports?
« Reply #23 on: January 31, 2013, 10:21:02 am »

waling (sp?)
Whaling. :)
Wailing.


If we're talking really weird combat moves, then I'd have to go for "dwarf gets a grip on animal by its tooth, with his left elbow" -> "dwarf throws the animal with his left elbow".

Urist McThrower: "no really, the dog didn't bite me in the arm, I grabbed it by its teeth with my elbow and then threw it!" (so hard that the dog blew up)
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Congrats, Psieye. This is the first time I've seen a derailed thread get put back on the rails.

Coalwalker

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Re: Best Fight Reports?
« Reply #24 on: January 31, 2013, 12:30:37 pm »

Wailing.
Could've sworn... !

A wererat just bead a craftsdwarf to death with a xpig tail fiber cloakx, lodging firmly in his brain. An axedwarf was nearby and smashed it once in the head with the pommel of his axe. I imagine the dwarf running forwards with a scream, holding the axe backwards, and jamming it handle-first into the incoming wererat/kobold's mouth.
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So to recap, one minute everything was going just great, and the next we have caverns collapsing, firebreathing cave beasts, underground brush fires, a screaming swarm of poltergheists back for revenge, zombies in the corridors, drunken brawls in the dining halls, magma pouring into the caverns, rotting miasma everywhere, insanity, madness, and a flying crocodile heading right towards us!

Pon_Katt

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Re: Best Fight Reports?
« Reply #25 on: January 31, 2013, 01:51:04 pm »

My macelord's favorite method of fighting is forcing a goblin into the river, then jumping in after him to bash his skull in.  Rinse and repeat.  It truly is hilarious to watch.  Though, the first time this happened I panicked like hell because he had no swimming experience. 
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My little voice approves.
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