Your name is DRAKE SANDSON, and you are a
damn smooth talker. You are a master of SOCIAL INTERACTION, yet you don't really have anyone you are particularly close to. This is more a result of HEAVILY DIFFERING INTERESTS than LACK OF EFFORT. Also your minor KLEPTOMANIA. Not your fault, shit was just BEGGING to be in your pocket. You are 17 years of age and live in the AUSTRALIAN OUTBACK. Despite this, you have somehow managed to pick up the linguistic vocabulary of an AMERICAN. You have never had barbequeued shrimp, nor has anyone been your 'Mate'.
You are RATHER POOR. Your residence consists of a small one story shanty out near the suburbs of BUMFUCK NOWHERE. Nothing but cracked rock, a few other houses with old people in them and a small sandy oasis nearby. it's got a palm tree even. You also have a somewhat tame KOMODO DRAGON taking up residence in your backyard. Say what you will, but your GRANDFATHER is one hell of an animal tamer. It's like he's an increadibly violent Australian Dr. Doolittle. This is a great boon in the continent of EVERYTHING IS TRYING TO EAT YOU. It's been there as long as you can remember. When you were young, you sometimes rode it like THE MOST BADASS HORSE. Nowadays you just feed it scraps of meat and pat it's head because you learned that it can snap you in half at a moments notice. You also show off to girls before you nick their crap by accident I swear.
Your interests include WIND INSTRUMENTS, of which your favorite is this weird little oval number you found on the street one day. You think it's called an ocarina? This is also a good FRIENDMAKER, until you take their stuff I didn't mean to it won't happen again. You are also fond of listening to ORIENTAL JAPANESE. You have a pair of DAGGERS your grandfather used to FIGHT OFF A PAIR OF CROCODILES once. Alledgedly. You can use them FAIRLY WELL. You also like to SPOOK PEOPLE by jumping up behind them. It's pretty funny. Except when they demand their watch back I'm so sorry that usually never happens sometimes.
You don't have a problem. Shut up.
You go online rarely, but for lengths at a time. Usually to listen to music but you play games sometimes. Like Iji. And Cave Story. And a million others you downloaded but never bothered to glance at again.
You don't use pesterchum because your computer is an UNCOOPERATIVE PIECE OF SHIT but if you did your name would be
desertHowl. You do tend to use STEAM. You think this is a fair deal because you can play things while talking to people on it instead of swithcing back and forth every half second like a deranged monkey with ADD.
You don't think you have any particular typing style, and fail to see why it matters.