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[shrike.ex]

A bit of fun I had with some friends from the World of Tanks forum


Enjoy!

(I hope this is the right place for this; I haven't posted here very often :/  )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~ His Majesty's Eyes Only ~
Royal Exploration Service

Record: Journal Transcript
Discovered 14 Hematite, 1024

---- Record Begins ----

3 Granite
I really don't understand what everyone is so upset about. The advertisement clearly asked for path-finder; it didn't say anything about path following. They keep telling me that I'm supposed to know where we are and that I'm supposed to be able to read that map they brought. Read a map? Do I look like a nerd? Reading is for ninnies.

The scruffy one, calls herself ForcestormX or something, says we should have reached Peakinked a week ago. What does she know? She's got an 'X' on the end of her bleedin' name for crying out loud! She even makes you pronounce it! 'Ecccks'. Sociopath if I ever saw one; probably chopped up her own mother. Anyway, what's wrong with an extra week? They should think of it as some scenic hiking, R & R like. Terrible attitude on the lot of them. Doesn't help that that ForcestormEcks chick looks like she got her face caught in a cheese grater. Now Meirzin on the other hand, that's a gorgeous dwarf if there ever was one. (Has a better looking beard than I do!) I have no idea what a dwarf like her is doing in an expedition like this, but when I asked her she kneed me in the stones.

If the whining and groin-shots weren't bad enough, the noble who sent us on this escapade put Goldmountain in charge. He's a bloody carpenter; wood worshiping sissy!  At least the elves are born that way, makes a dwarf shake his head in shame to know one of his own kind would chose to be a tree-kisser. A tree-kisser who is in charge, by Armok. I hope he sits on a giant tick.



17 Granite
We're out of food. Tvanderhart broke it to the party this morning. Says we either settle or starve. Crazy dwarf, has she LOOKED at were we are? I mean, seriously. The trees here are all dead. . . except the ones that aren't, but those ones, well, let's just say those are the ones I really wish had died. And the ground, it's brown. Not dry grass brown, more like dried blood brown. In fact, I think it actually is blood. Pretty sure some of it belongs to those tree. . . things. Hell, the grass, what little there is, is purple. I've seen elves prettier than this landscape. *Shudder*


18 Granite
We found a fairly flat piece of ground and unhitched the wagons; I was going to get started digging the fort so we could get away from this Armok cursed forest, but Goldmountain insisted on making a speech. Some nonsense about "Striking the Earth". . . windbag.


19 Granite
Armok on an artichoke, why in the hell did we settle here? One of the dogs brought back half of a bird this morning, raven by the look of it, and gave it to me. I reached down to take it when the damn thing bit me. A dead bird bit me. The dog dropped it on the ground, where it flopped around like an undead fish. ZOMBIE birds. It's like being in one of those nerd-books that FaustianQ just will not shut up about. I bet the heroes in those books don't have to deal with company like this. . .

Goldmountain tore me a new one today too. I was in the middle of mining out the farm plots when Goldy-rocks comes sprinting up screaming at me to stop. Turns out it was the wee drops of water on the tetrahedrite face I was working that got him all in a tizzy. How was I supposed to know there was a river on the other side? It's not like I can stick my head through and look. I'm taking a break from mining for awhile; let the gold-plated tree-licker go dig his own holes.


21 Granite
Goldmountain, Expedition Leader
We found this journal on the unconscious body of our Miner, JD Collie, after killing the aptly named murder of undead crows that were pecking the life from him. As writing supplies have become scarce, I will be continuing our expedition record here.

Unfortunately, Mr. Collie has not regained consciousness, and we lack both the beds and the interest to provide him medical care. On a much more depressing note, several of the expedition's livestock have gone missing. Considering Mr. Collie and the flocks of corpse-birds that circle our humble abode, we have not wasted much time in searching.




22 Granite
Goldmountain, Expedition Leader
Though the absence of Mr Collie has done wonder for the company's moral and average IQ, mining has slowed to a crawl. Ms FaustianQ has been working double shifts, but our needs consistently outstrip our abilities. This only been compounded by the crows. After Mr Collie's. . . encounter, other members of the party have developed substantial phobias toward the crows. Hauling and building are being interrupted every time someone sees one of the blasted things. They're extremely aggresive; Mr. BrackDynamite suffered a bite to the foot before dispatching the vile creature when it attacked him while he was retrieving chopped wood. Worse, our last remaining dog was found pecked to death on the edge of camp. We may need to deal with the birds, before something worse appears and catches us unprepared.

23 Granite
I organized our party into a makeshift militia. Most of use have little combat experience, but Ms. ForcestormX is quite handy with an axe, though she usually confines her violence to the local trees. We set out a little after what I estimate was ten in the morning; the blood-thirst of those ravens finally proved their undoing, as they charged our ranks piecemeal, and were rendered as such in turn.

Our victory celebration over the foul fowl was short lived, as something with the consistency of saliva and the odor of entrails began to rain from the sky. Those who couldn't get reach the safety of our fortress quickly enough found themselves dizzy and disoriented. Fortunately the deluge passed, though the ground is now sticks to our feet as we walk.

25 Granite
We've managed to move most of the food indoors despite the seemingly endless supply of undead ravens who see fit to harass us. I was finally forced to place Ms ForcestormX on full-time military duty lest any solo dwarf meet a fate similar to that of Mr. Collie, who finally suffocated last night. (The flock of ravens picking at his unconscious body may have hastened his passing.)

26 Granite
We have made a most disconcerting discovery; one of cats, called 'Mr Snugglebutton' by Mr Collie as I recall, returned today. Or, at least some of him did. It seems that exposure to this terrain alone is enough to reanimate the dead. It's little wonder there have been such an abundance pests to attack us. I've ordered Mr. BrackDynamite to retrieve Mr. Collie's corpse for burning; he has yet to return. I've begun construction of a stone hatch and ordered the manufacturing of the mechanisms that will allow us to seal said hatch tight. If we are going to survive here, it won't be on the surface.

27 Granite
Armok's blood! Had I known what Mr. Collie would bring upon us, I would have killed him on first sight in the Mountainhome. Mr. BrackDynamite never returned, but Mr. Collie did, fully reanimated. If he was a horror in life, it was nothing compared to what he has become. Whatever necromantic properties this land possess, they have served to make Mr. Collie infinitely more resilient than he ever was before.

He struck just before nightfall, a flock of ravens at his back blocking out the meager sun. Ms. ForcestormX charged him, determined to end him once and for all. The rest of us ran for the relative safety of our fortress. I before decending, I turned to see Mr Collie strike Ms ForcestormX in the head with such might that pieces of her skull protruded from the back. Despite the dim light, I could see the face of the gore covered fiend as it licked blood and brains from its fist; it was smiling.

28(?) Granite
We have piled whatever materials we have available on the stairs, but without the hatch (which lies useless and half finished in the workshop) it is only a matter of time before the undead are among us. We need to arm ourselves.

Entry
We've got weapons, a few picks, a couple copper axes. I can hear them now, gnawing through our barricade. Gnawing like maggots into our collective heart. tvanderhart lost it, started screaming about eyes, teeth, and the abyss. I put a pick through her skull.

we wait

Entry
Armok save me. They're dead, all of them all dead. Dead, dead and walking. BrackDynamite was with Collie this time, they tore FaustianQ in half before I could blink. Gods. . . better than Meirzin  Shes still screaming.  It was Collie, demon spawned son of a whore. . . He's killed so many, he is Gethgast.

when they've eaten their fill, they'll come for me. THeyre hungry  Oh gods are they hungry. They won't eat me, dammit. Not me.




~ Note to the King ~
Royal Exploration Service

The above record is transcribed verbatim (sans bloodstains) from a journal found floating down the Seven Tools river. While the title of the party is never mentioned, the name of the expedition leader matches that of one Master Goldmountain, sent to reinforce the fortress Peakinked. Based the record, we assume the party in question is a total loss, with all hands killed in the field.

The mention of a near-surface Tetrahedrite vein does warrant further exploration however; we recommend a heavily armed mining party be sent to reclaim the overrun fortress.


-His Majesty's Master of Exploration


~~The End~~


And yes, my undead corpse killed so many dwarves that he actually received a title, Gethgast.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

For the record, my corpse killed:
Goldmountain
ForcestormX
Meirzin
FaustianQ

tvanderhart went nuts and had to be put down by the surviving dwarves, and BrackDynamite was actually eaten by crows literally seconds before my corpse reanimated and began its reign of terror.

As an interesting side note, ForcestormX actually survived the first time my corpse put a fist through her skull. It was the second time I did it that killed her.   

[Baccar Wozat]

ts;r.

[Crustypeanut]

Ah the good ol' evil terrain that reanimates things.  Tis a fun map, that is.. I've had many short sessions such at this.  I try to build a wall around my wagon immediately.. the only problem after that is trying to save the immigrants from adding to the growing Horde outside.

[Coalwalker]

'The Seven Tools' 

[codyorr]

Nice.

[zubb2]

Oh the second fist through the skull that one might do it.

Good story.

[Loud Whispers]

IT'S ALWAYS THE ONES WITH WINGS

[Grax]

[Loud Whispers]

Hitchcock'd all over the thread. Nice.

[Blue_Dwarf]

Great write-up

[Rutilant]

But is is Pea Kinked or Peak Inked?


Will we ever know?

[EvilTwin]

This belongs in "DF Community Games & Stories"

[Loud Whispers]

This belongs in "DF Community Games & Stories"

One off threads aren't all that out of place here. Their small shelf life coupled with DMDiscussion's higher activity goes well in hand together.