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Keep on going downstraem

0 (0%)

Time for some heroic swimming?...no?

0 (0%)

Find a dead tree or other long object, work as a group to hoist it across. (With emphasis on actually finding said object...)

4 (44.4%)

Invent some absurd creation involving rope and stuff which slowly pulls tied up people across…

5 (55.6%)

Total Members Voted: 9

[Kaos]

THE GAUNTLET NEEDS MORE BLOOD

We are bleeding feed the gauntlet with our own blood! wait for an oportunity and throw the axe at him then go barehanded using only the gauntlet, I bet if we get hit on the gauntlet with that wood stick it will shatter and splinter, maybe the axe is too heavy and it's encumbering us, failing that: Pikachu use Agility!...

Also we're a dwarf can't we tangle him motionless with our beard or something? use your dwarf powers!!

Wait a minute!! are... we... SOBER? maybe that's why we are sluggish, quick drink something!!

That is a regular wooden sword, isn't it? don't tell me it's one of the artifacts we read about in those books...

[Brewster]

Start tearing off the nearby female's shirts and throwing them at the attacker in an attempt to slow/blind/stop/trip/mesmerize, and then do whatever the rest of the lot is saying w/ blood and axes and gauntlets. 

[AfellowDwarf]

Yeah, I guess a rampage is in order. So much for teaming up with the elves. Maybe we need to use that strangling thing that teneborsus did?

In desperation, we might be able to light our shirt on fire in a pinch. The sword is wooden. So long as it's not an artifact as well, this tactic should leave the elf unarmed and us burning.

I also guess that instead of being too hungry to work, the gauntlet might be full from our earlier encounter with the wolves, seeing no need to eat futher.

[NAV]

We just need to think of an attack he can't dodge. If only we had alcohol, we could do a booze flamethrower.
Edit:
Actually, we might have some alcohol left in our stomach. Try puking, and then doing the flamethrower trick with the boozy vomit.
Also, smoke our pipe, and blow smoke in his face.
Also try to hit his sword with our axe, because axes are for chopping wood.

[AfellowDwarf]

This really is a tough one.

Hmm. Yielding seems suicidal; the elf has expressed a want for killing us in the past. Throwing the axe is also non-optimal; getting through the crowd without it will be difficult, our dagger isn't all that heavy and won't get them out of the way that much.

[Tirion]

Oh dear. We are doing it all wrong. The gauntlet should not be wasted on holding weapons, our axe should be in our other hand. We have a gauntlet that could withstand steel blades, this guy is beating us up with a wooden "sword". Let's fight like Meryn Trant, not Lannister Mook #1 to #4. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPo8EgxjC2U. As shown to Nerin in a flash of foreign memories, we can beat the guy by treating his wooden stick as a wooden stick, not a steel sword. Can you listen to me, or will I have to be ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL?

Start by whispering/panting "surrender..." and when he stops at a safe distance for clarification, take a deep breath and say in our most ominous voice: "This is your last chance to surrender, elf. You've proven you are a great warrior and worthy of your title, but if you force our hand, your people will lose their champion today. Don't make me destroy you." While we speak, take the axe into our other hand. If he attacks again, parry with the axe, and grab his "sword" with our gauntlet. Then use our axe to either break his "sword", then move in for the kill, grab his throat with the gauntlet, and tear it out. Well, simply strangling him will do it, seeing how pointy our gauntlet's fingers are. Dramatically lifting him up then tossing him away once he's dead is optional.

EDIT: if the gauntlet is metal, we will have an even easier time killing him with it.

[Lt_Alfred]

Oh dear. We are doing it all wrong. The gauntlet should not be wasted on holding weapons, our axe should be in our other hand. We have a gauntlet that could withstand steel blades, this guy is beating us up with a wooden "sword". Let's fight like Meryn Trant, not Lannister Mook #1 to #4. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPo8EgxjC2U. As shown to Nerin in a flash of foreign memories, we can beat the guy by treating his wooden stick as a wooden stick, not a steel sword. Can you listen to me, or will I have to be ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL?

Start by whispering/panting "surrender..." and when he stops at a safe distance for clarification, take a deep breath and say in our most ominous voice: "This is your last chance to surrender, elf. You've proven you are a great warrior and worthy of your title, but if you force our hand, your people will lose their champion today. Don't make me destroy you." While we speak, take the axe into our other hand. If he attacks again, parry with the axe, and grab his "sword" with our gauntlet. Then use our axe to either break his "sword", then move in for the kill, grab his throat with the gauntlet, and tear it out. Well, simply strangling him will do it, seeing how pointy our gauntlet's fingers are. Dramatically lifting him up then tossing him away once he's dead is optional.

EDIT: if the gauntlet is metal, we will have an even easier time killing him with it.

Over 9000+

[Tirion]

Also, planning for after our victory: bang hot elven girl(s), find out about their curse that makes them unable to touch metal, bang hot elven girl(s), train to build up strenght, dexterity and endurance, bang hot elven girl(s), learn how to shape wood like an elf, bang hot elven girl(s), learn how to tame and train war animals, bang hot elven girl(s), get the elven army in shape, bang hot elven girl(s), lead a champaign agains the goblin invaders to avenge our birthplace, bang hot elven girl(s), go on a quest to break the above mentioned curse once the elven kingdom is more secure. Bring the elven girl mentioned above, preferably identical to the noble one who was kind to us and was real hot (she can share our bedroll, heh heh), the bard to witness our story, and some badass war-animal. War-trained Wilfred the goat, maybe?
When we break the curse, return for some celebrations, lead another campaign against the goblins, re-conquer a lot of ancient elven forests, slay the goblin leader (bonus point if it's a demon) and take back our fortress. Use an elven garrison to keep it safe, but make it clear that they are doing just that, not occupying a dwarf fortress. Our eventual goal is to restore the elven and dwarven kingdoms into their former greatness and beyond, as allies. Our quests shall include: killing demons, titans and megabeasts, learning secrets, building awesome cool stuff first as experiments then on a large scale, leading armies, raising a revolution against the corrupt leaders to Silverdrop, travel to lands far away and the depths of the earth to recover ancient artifacts and tame breeding pairs of exotic war beasts for our army.

And throughout it all, we'll make a name for ourselves, and keep our story true, if a bit embellished. No longer shall Nerin be ashamed of us - we are spirits of ancient heroes, guiding this dwarf to fulfill his destiny, and while our opinions may differ sometimes, we always reach consensus eventually. Our gauntlet is a dwarven artifact of dread power, one we claimed in a duel against it's former owner. Don't forget how he was armed and we were not. Make no secret of this. They might fear us for it, but we'll make it clear we want to help them, and we'll be away on quests most of the time anyway.

[AfellowDwarf]

Also, planning for after our victory: bang hot elven girl(s), find out about their curse that makes them unable to touch metal, bang hot elven girl(s), train to build up strenght, dexterity and endurance, bang hot elven girl(s), learn how to shape wood like an elf, bang hot elven girl(s), learn how to tame and train war animals, bang hot elven girl(s), get the elven army in shape, bang hot elven girl(s), lead a champaign agains the goblin invaders to avenge our birthplace, bang hot elven girl(s), go on a quest to break the above mentioned curse once the elven kingdom is more secure.

You need to learn a thing or two about multi-tasking. We can do all of things whilst banging (hot) elves, with enough training.

[gman8181]

Why do people think Nerin hurting himself will be helpful? He's ready banged up as is.

[AfellowDwarf]

The 'emulate Teneborsus' part of it has more alure.

And of course we're having a tie at the 10 vote mark. Why woudn't we be having a tie?

[slowpokez]

The 'emulate Teneborsus' part of it has more alure.

And of course we're having a tie at the 10 vote mark. Why woudn't we be having a tie?

I feel like this gets more and more relevant every week....

Well since the community in my usual thread can't make up their mind and keep on tying up the poll I guess I'll have to come here and draw insted -______-'
Some times it feels like they're all conspiring aginst me to make work as difficult as possible

[Brewster]

Not sure why the shirt ripping needs to be voted on, it's just an addition before whatever is actually voted on. 

[Tirion]

note how similar the two leading opinions are: both need Nerin to grab the elf's "sword".

[Lt_Alfred]

Forgot to vote, done.