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Keep on going downstraem

0 (0%)

Time for some heroic swimming?...no?

0 (0%)

Find a dead tree or other long object, work as a group to hoist it across. (With emphasis on actually finding said object...)

4 (44.4%)

Invent some absurd creation involving rope and stuff which slowly pulls tied up people across…

5 (55.6%)

Total Members Voted: 9

[slowpokez]

go all out with the sexual innuendos!! if it backfires we can still say is a dwarven custom to which our elf buddy will probably agree saying that dwarves do indeed have weird customs and such..

Edit: also ask her if she hasn't happened to have seen a lost nurse

-cause she's got one heck of a sick ass?

Edit: No, really, she should get that checked. Did we mention we're a doctor?

Edit2: Cause we really are a doctor, and a mayor too. Yes, we're a very important person. We didn't ask for dwarves to kill elves, though, oh no. Doctors shouldn't meddle in politics, that's what mayors are for. But in our oppinion, we'd rather be the only one _*thrust* skewering elves.

Just keep 'em coming...cause if the poll goes the way it seems at the moment(God forbid) I'll need some bad puns

[HissinhWalnuts]

We're on page 69... so maybe we can get some

[Kaos]

We're on page 69... so maybe we can get some

O.M.G. it must be a sign from Amok himself!!

Just keep 'em coming...cause if the poll goes the way it seems at the moment(God forbid) I'll need some bad puns

and it's not like the runner up "Act friendly and be open about the situation at hand." is any better... I mean "friendly" if you know what I mean "be open" uhm... that's what I'm talking about! "the situtation at hand" should I mention again where she had her hand when we walked up on her?

[Tirion]

We're on page 69... so maybe we can get some

O.M.G. it must be a sign from Amok himself!!

Just keep 'em coming...cause if the poll goes the way it seems at the moment(God forbid) I'll need some bad puns

and it's not like the runner up "Act friendly and be open about the situation at hand." is any better... I mean "friendly" if you know what I mean "be open" uhm... that's what I'm talking about! "the situtation at hand" should I mention again where she had her hand when we walked up on her?

Indeed. I voted for acting friendly, but I meant it in a friends with benefits kind of friendly 

EDIT: Words can't express how relieved I am that Elven women, at least judging by this one, are hot 

[AfellowDwarf]

If asked about our doctorship:

We became a doctor when we stole a doctor's hat. Well, we didn't steal it, we only steal hearts, but we thought about it. And the thought is what matters, isn't it? And boy, the things we're thinking about doing to you. Not traditional dwarven things such as killing you like a dog and making delicious puppy roast out of your remains, mind. Unless you're into that sort of thing. Oh, sorry, you must like dogs. Doggy style is a favorite of ours as well.

Edit:
If she claims that stealing a hat doesn't make you a doctor:
Well, dwarven doctoring is a little different. It's democratic. After all, if everyone says your ears have been cut off by a small perverted madman, that's probably true. Speaking about democracy, we're voting for the two of us to bump uglies. We're worth five people *point towards pants* by the way.

Edit2: Don't tell me I have to provide all the innuendo. This stuff is to come hard with. This stuff is hard to come up with.
At least we're not a woodsman. Well, not in the traditional sense, anyway, since we do have all the wood you'll ever need. And if we run out for some reason, we can always chop you down... We kid, we kid. We'll use a tree if it comes to that.

So, where does your mother live? Why? Cause if your sisters are anywhere near as hot as you, we feel obliged to try and make some more.

Edit3: If the mother turns out to be dead, we should ask if we can still get her womb to work.

Edit4: If she expresses disgust at us for wanting to make children with her mother:
We're a doctor, it's not just for fun, we'd also do her to study the elven race. We've got all kinds of questions. Would an elf-dwarf crossbreed be as hot as two of us? Would you sleep with us when drunk? What if we slept with your father first? Is he good looking like you? Would you be intrested in a drink?

As you can hear, we're very rigorous. We'll examine you very closely when next we find a bed.

Edit5:
Well, we needn't neccerairily make more sisters for you. We could also make you hotter, but I fear that at this point it'll involve dousing you in oil and lighting you on fire. There's a human village not far away, they're sure to have some. How about we _*thrust* come there with you?

If she runs away at some point, we should shout to her that we haven't even found a coffin for her yet.

Edit6:
If she runs away, we could try to chase her, tie her up and bring her to elftown. There we can claim that she's unable to tell dwarves apart from one-another and is confusing us with another dwarf that recently went mad. We had to incapitate her to stop her from bringing harm to herself in her panic.

[Tirion]

Keep it consensual, please. Persuading and confusing is OK, but let's draw a line and not cross it somewhere.

[slowpokez]

She tiptoed up to me clearly still a bit wary even after Amathspar’s explanation; her face was filled with conflicting emotions of determination, innocence and general confusion.
-Did you really save this elf? *pointing casually at Amathspar*
-Y…Yea I guess?
-But why? What kind motive would you have to help him?
-Uhmm…I felt that perhaps he had been captured unjustly, you know…he hadn’t really done anything and…
-So you just decided to risk your life and free an imprisoned elf at a whim?
-Yes…I mean no…uhmm…like I was caught up in the moment and it felt like the right kind of thing to do…
-That’s kind of strange…
-He’s not your ordinary dwarf, I can vouch for that.
-Well…is it also true that you’ve not only slain an entire pack of rampaging wolves but also a gang of roaming goblins?
-Yea…
-Yet you claim to have no combat training or fighting experience?
-That’s…not entirely true, I was in a bar fight once…
-Still you know…even if you were serious about going to Seraté you wouldn’t think they’d let you in after a tale like that?
 -Well…I got nowhere else to go really…
-I owe him my life multiple times over! I would dishonor not only myself but elves everywhere by not repaying my debt.
-Well, a decision like that certainly isn’t up to you…
-That’s….
-You’ve been through a lot so I’ll help you get there but I’m skeptical as to the dwarf’s chances.
-You have my eternal gratitude!
-Thank you…
-I think I’ve heard of you before Amathspar, your father is a musician right?
-Yes, and me as well.
-Then…what name do you go by dwarf?
-Huh…uhmm…my name is *dramatical pause* Nerin lord of the glittering caves!
-I bear the name of Sehdul Myali and I’m pleased to have made your acquaintance.
 Upon hearing her name Amathspar suddenly light up.
-Then you are of the Myali family?
-Heh, sadly I’m on the wrong side of the family tree so to me it’s a mere name, whoever the Courtlounger is still my half-brother.
-Wow…you think he could help us?
-Nah not really, he’s not much of the helping type…Our family’s greatest disgrace as well as honor.
-What a shame…
-Oh I’m sorry you are probably not familiar with the Courtlounger.
-Well, I did explain the basic premise of the position to him earlier. (Chapter 54)
-Yea…but I know quite a few positions we could try out later. *Nerin puts his hand on Sehdul’s back for a moment*
*A short moment of all 3 awkwardly staring at each other in complete silence*
-Hrrmm, yes…well he is a very unusual character indeed but I’m willing to put my faith in him after he saved me from such a horrible fate.
-Yea, when I found him in a prison most of the prisoners weren't fully clad and he was in a cell with a sweaty shirtless goblin. The first time I tried to save him I did unfortunately fail horribly. As I escaped the scene I heard a loud thumping sound and I think I remember something about a thick, hard cog in someone’s face.                                                                                                                                   
-That’s horrible.
-What…well…that’s not quite how I’d put it but…
-By the way, you don’t happen to have seen a lost nurse around here?
-No, why?
-I was traveling with one before but she got lost and you know.
-Where did this happen?
-Outside of Silverdrop.
-But that’s over a week’s march from here!
-Oh yea…
-Why were you traveling with a nurse?
-Didn’t he mention that I’m a doctor?
-Really?
-You are!?
-Sure am, and you know what I think I might need to give you a full body examination!
-Why…is that?
-‘Cause you’ve got one heck of a sick ass baby!
-Euhm…
-Wha…what…Don’t mind him I’m sure he’s tired from all the fighting…
-Nah, I’m feeling great. I could go for an all-nighter!
The party of four kept traveling like this for a bit while Nerin kept spurting out various innuendos at primarily the paranoid one’s command, the other voices did however manage to have Nerin avoid some of the worst stuff involving butchering and intercourse with her various family members. Probably due to this she didn’t seem to get particularly offended at any point and even chuckled a bit, (OOC now that’s a good roll ya’ll got there) Even though our food supply had run low Sehdul shared some of her provisions, not really a good ol’ llama roast but cabbage had never tasted so good before. Amathspar seemed high in spirit but was a quiet as ever and Nerin had his conversational ability crippled by the constant stream of various cheesy pickup lines. Meanwhile Wilfred and Sehdul got along well, she seemed to take an instant liking to the goat…or maybe it was the other way around. All in all the whole encounter ended fairly smoothly.     

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

During the night I got to sleep on the opposite side of the camp to Sehdul, probably intentionally due to the voices behavior. It was worse than ever, if I weren’t already insane I’d slowly go crazy just by listening to all their stupid suggestions. Sigh…I never catch a break…Well, at least we’ll soon be there…
Before we continued out on the next morning I managed to wash off most of the blood from my clothes at a little creak, the voices kept bugging me to bring the elven lady there at all cost but I managed to resist their immodest pleading. As we set out on the next day I got a bad feeling like I was being watched or something…could it be the townsfolk catching up or maybe more wolves?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Well, my pondering came to a halt a few hours later when I heard a loud swishing sound from in front of us. I had no idea where they came from, before I even realized the situation I had gotten hit in the chest and another one had grazed my arm.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Amathspar had thrown himself on the ground as he generally does in the face of danger; Sehdul on the other did something strange and walked towards the direction of our attackers waving her arms in the air.
Had she betrayed us? What was going on!? I didn’t have much time to think before a large spikey thing came spinning towards me!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Once again I was too slow to react and I could feel something sharp slice into my chest, slowly I fell to my knees and thing began to go dark…
But then I managed to catch my breath again, the spinning object had punched the air out of me but I was still alive…wait…It’s made of wood…It had barely even cut through my armor and the scratch beneath weren’t deep enough to be considered a serious injury.
What’s going on…When I look up again Sehdul is talking feistily to some elves which were emerging out of the woodwork in great numbers. 8…9…10…maybe a dozen…
They appeared to be armed, perhaps soldiers of some kind…
In a swift movement they had all surrounded us and some of them were pointing weapons against me, some were discussing with Sehdul and one of them were off chasing Wilfred around.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

-Soooo…I take it you were not taken prisoners?
-No, I’m telling y…
-So then the dwarf is your prisoner?
-No not that either, he saved an elf from a dwarven prison over at Blackgate and came here.
-Then what does he want? Huh?
-I don’t know, he doesn’t seem to have an ulterior motif. I think he just came here traveling…
-Then he’s probably a spy, no?
-He’s too stupid to be a spy!
-Don’t underestimate them, all dwarves aren’t stupid.
-I’m not talking about the dwarven race; I’m saying that this individual is too stupid to be a spy!
-He’s an unnecessary risk, we better kill him.
-No, you can’t do that! It would be dishonorable to kill a vulnerable person like that.
-Pff, dwarves commit worse deeds on a daily basis.
-Well, are you a dwarf?
-Who are you to make such decisions?
-Then…then let’s talk to the count Alean’Iel
-You really think he’d let a dwarf into the city?
-At least it’s just that way.
-Pfff
After that she sent of a young elf running ahead of the group, probably to alert someone, the rest escorted me in silence to meet some other guy… Amathspar tried to say some optimistic words but I couldn’t be bothered….
As we traveled across a hillside road I suddenly caught a glimpse of a huge tree, bigger than any tree I’d ever seen before, even though it was rooted far down in a valley its crown blocked the sky behind it. I was about to ask but one of my guards just kicked my shin, what had I done to deserve this…sigh. Every time there was a clearing in vegetation at the side of the road I’d get a glimpse of the huge tree which only seemed to grow larger for every step we took. When we reached a small clearing I finally caught a good look of it and the city below, the city was huge and built from some white marble-like stone which shone in the bright light.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Then the road leads back into the forest for another few minutes before we reach the gates, huge towering gates matching the size of Silverdrop’s iconic gate. Beneath is a small gathering of soldiers mixed up with curious citizens led by a few strange looking people…

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

There was a small hooded character with a weird grin, an old looking elf with a gnarly staff, a tall bare-chested dude and a silent unproportionate man wearing a hat. Their purpose was unknown but I could feel people high regard for them and their authority was made apparent by the crowds natural distancing. What followed was a dragging political discussion spoken in hushed voices which I was unfortunately I was excluded from…
I was left back there with Amathspar as Sehdul was speaking on our account, probably for the best…
-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for this to happen…
-It’s okay; I’ve been through worse…
-Still I can’t feel other than guilty…
This Nerin is a perfect example of why you can’t trust an elf!
Yea, we told you from the bloody beginning that joining up with this tree-hugger was a bad idea!
We made these decisions together…
I sure as hell never voted for no elf!
Well guys, it’s too late now…
-Who are those guys?
-Who?
-The guys talking over there.
-Oh, nobles of various rank and Sehdul’s brother.
-Why is he there?
-He probably heard that his sister was involved and you know, he can do pretty much what he wants as the Courtlounger.
-And the others, what happened to this Alanel-dude?
- Count Alean’lel is the short gentleman with the long eye-brows, he’s a council-member and in charge of public speaking. People love him as he’s unusually approachable for a noble.
-The hooded guy then?
-I don’t really know who the other two are; I can’t say I move around much in the social elite…
 At that point they seem to have reached some sort of conclusion. (some announcer announces)
-We have decided that due to your good deeds towards this elf *pointing at Amathspar* and in extension the elven people you are free to go.
A sudden *woooahh* goes to the crowd followed by whispering and annoyed muttering. The lady leading the squad that had caught us spit on the ground and walks off.
Yes, we did it!
I shoot Amathspar a smile but he still seems worried…
-We have also decided that it would be unwise to let a dwarf into these walls; no dwarf has set foot within these walls for 14 years and we intend to keep it that way until the day that the city falls.
What…
I came this far only to fall on the finish-line? After all that wandering….
-I’m sorry…
-Stop…
-I’ll try to talk to people, just wait…
-No I’ll just…
Fuck.
I keep telling you man, elves. Talk loads of bullshit but when it comes to show they ain’t even got nothin’!
At least we got out alive…and free and…
You know that still ain’t right man!
…and no one got hurt and….Amathspar got back…
Fuck that chickenhead! He hasn’t done shit all this time and now he’s all back safe and sound, eh? What a happy fucking story that is!
Dear Armok…
-Dwarf, I challenge you to a duel.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

-Huh...
...
-You're Sehdul brother eh?
-We share the same name but she's not my sister....
-Oh, but...
What the fuck is going on...
Ehhh...
Guys help me out here!
We're not too sure either...

A small gathering is now surrounding me, some of them must really idolize this guy 'cause they're staring at him intently with gleeful faces...

-So how 'bout it? Dwarf... *He drags out the last word like it's a curse*
-No...uhmm... *sweating profusely*
-Are you going to fight me like a man? Or run away with your tail between your legs.
-I don’t want to fight you…
I thought this guy was on my side, what’s going on!?
Elves…can’t trust ‘em
That doesn’t help!
-Are all dwarves this cowardly? Hah, okay. Go and dig yourself a little hole in the mud and hide there, little dwarf.
Ohhhh that’s it! Nerin let’s kick this fuckers ass! Let’s shove a dwarven boot so far up his ass he can taste the fucking mud on ‘em!
-…
-Come on shorty! My title’s on the line here!
-You can’t do that, it would override the rulings of the count!
-Hah, the old man can go fuck himself, he banished the dwarf and now I’m fighting the banished dwarf. What’s the problem!?
-What changed?
-This guy is kind of abusing his power as a Courtlounger to allow you entrance.
-Don’t listen to him though, he just want to kill you.
-What!? You’re giving me mixed messages here?
-He’s an arrogant bastard; he’s going to kill you just because I tried to help you. However if he just killed you he’d lose his title as a Courtlounger that’s why he wants you to challenge him for the title.
-What’s it going to be dwarf? *He says with a huge grin*
We should just get out of here.
WHAT! We can’t back down now! An elf challenged us in front of a crowd! No dwarf would ever back down in a situation like this!
But he’s apparently the fastest swordsman there is…
I’d rather die than be disgraced by an elf like this, a dwarf never runs from an elf! That’s crazy like mouse chasing a cat or somethin’!
I agree with Nerin we should back down here…it’s not a fight we have to take…
We get to kill an elf without consequences! Isn’t that reason enough!
I don’t know if we can use the gauntlet though…there are a lot of people here…
Nerin after taking an insult from a whimsy plant picker there’s no coming back, your honor is at stake!
I’ve been thinking, we’re not actually challenging him for an entry to the city but his title as a noble. Meaning that we’d not only get in but also get all the perks of nobility, the life that we we’re all really born for, eh?
Aye!
Wait, wait, wait aren’t you getting ahead of yourself there… We have to defeat him first…

[Kaos]

Gauntlet time!!!

This is our chance!, we defeat this douche and get an elvish noble title and access to all those hot elf girls!! then we can reclaim the Glitering Caves with an army of hot elven archers, we'll probably have to clad them with some good ole dwarven steel before that!!

If they ask about the gauntlet we can say it's the epic weapon of the Lord of the Glittering Caves!!

The Lord of the Glittering Caves shall now also be the Courtloungerpimp of hot-elf-girl-town!!

[gman8181]

Yeah but the gauntlet makes us super bloodthirsty. We'd probably run around killing a lot more than just him... I mean that's not necessarily a bad thing but we need to be careful about taking actions that don't coincide well with our goals.

So hypothetical scenario, we get a little too blood thirsty and kill a bunch of people. What then? I guess we'd have to make a quick exit but we might be wounded from the encounter.

Still, maybe we could take some of their heads as trophies and bring them back to our old fortresss. I bet they'd love that. Maybe even enough to give us a dwarven position of power. Or we could take our trophies to the humans or the goblins but I don't know how they'd react.

[HissinhWalnuts]

USE THE DAMN GAUNTLENT LIKE A MAN!

[crazedjesster]

Use the Gauntlet!!! We just need the desire for women and not to kill overwhelm us.  The weapon has shown to have a slight desire of its own but also amplification of our own will. If we can wholly and completely want the women we will have by making this tree hugging hippy submit and accept his sister, WE WILL BE VICTORIOUS!!!!

[Tirion]

Gauntlet. But let's make the rules clear: we duel him one on one, with any spectators in safe places. Explain that we might fly into a dwarven bloodrage, and keeping elves who we just met in arm's reach while fighting an elf whom we just met would be detrimental to their health. Also, please get clarification that the duel is to the death, not first blood or something. We couldn't stop the gauntlet once it draws blood.

[crazedjesster]

Dude is about show. He isn't going to agree to a fight with no one watching but it would be good to limit viewers. Also we need someone to sing of our victory!! A elf is better than nothing to sing our praises.

[AfellowDwarf]

Has anyone considered that the gauntlet kind of makes for a rather demonic looking light show? Also note that it won't heal us from big wounds, like getting stabbed in the torso. Also note that scared-to-death elves aren't liable to heal us either.

Maybe we could throw coins at him, hoping that he'll catch one so it'll burn through his hand or something? If his hand stays intact, we can tell him we suspected he wasn't a real elf, and that holding that coin proves he's some kind of imposter.

I thought about doing something with insisting that we've been lovers for a long time, this being the reason we came here, but I doubt many here would believe that.

Keep it consensual, please. Persuading and confusing is OK, but let's draw a line and not cross it somewhere.

Oops, perhaps I went a little too far there. For the record, I was just aiming to scare her off.

[NAV]

You have no honour, elf. Ask me again to duel when my wounds are fully healed. I would surely kick your ass then.

Maybe the elf will give us a place to stay until we are healed. So he can challenge us to a fair and honourable duel.