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Dwarven ingenuity?

Keep on going downstraem
- 0 (0%)
Time for some heroic swimming?...no?
- 0 (0%)
Find a dead tree or other long object, work as a group to hoist it across. (With emphasis on actually finding said object...)
- 4 (44.4%)
Invent some absurd creation involving rope and stuff which slowly pulls tied up people across…
- 5 (55.6%)

Total Members Voted: 9


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Author Topic: Cloudsprite(the peasant dwarf II?) -interactive story-  (Read 186575 times)

AfellowDwarf

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Re: Cloudsprite(the peasant dwarf II?) -interactive story-
« Reply #930 on: November 15, 2013, 12:49:45 pm »

No STDs in this world  ;)
Genital skin rot syndrome dust. And no- that won't be a turn off if I can help it.
« Last Edit: November 15, 2013, 01:19:02 pm by AfellowDwarf »
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NAV

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Re: Cloudsprite(the peasant dwarf II?) -interactive story-
« Reply #931 on: November 15, 2013, 11:18:40 pm »

I'm wondering if we should maybe find Nerin some condoms. I mean seriously. Don't want a bunch of Nerin Juniors running around. They might inherit our schizophrenia.
(That should actually be a gameplay mechanic. We should be able to control Nerin's kids if he has any.)
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AfellowDwarf

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Re: Cloudsprite(the peasant dwarf II?) -interactive story-
« Reply #932 on: November 16, 2013, 03:59:56 am »

I'm wondering if we should maybe find Nerin some condoms. I mean seriously. Don't want a bunch of Nerin Juniors running around. They might inherit our schizophrenia.
(That should actually be a gameplay mechanic. We should be able to control Nerin's kids if he has any.)
I'm all for trying to make offspring, but there isn't really any elegible female nearby. Maybe we could try finding some animal people, or just wait for the elves or a human prison.

Edit: Also, controlling two people at the same time and making them argue would be a little too meta-schizophrenic.
« Last Edit: November 16, 2013, 12:38:08 pm by AfellowDwarf »
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Tirion

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Re: Cloudsprite(the peasant dwarf II?) -interactive story-
« Reply #933 on: November 19, 2013, 05:16:20 am »

I'm wondering if we should maybe find Nerin some condoms. I mean seriously. Don't want a bunch of Nerin Juniors running around. They might inherit our schizophrenia.
(That should actually be a gameplay mechanic. We should be able to control Nerin's kids if he has any.)

Was there ever a gameplay section where we could control dwarven children to do anything useful?  :D
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AfellowDwarf

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Re: Cloudsprite(the peasant dwarf II?) -interactive story-
« Reply #934 on: November 19, 2013, 10:50:39 am »

Was there ever a gameplay section where we could control dwarven children to do anything useful?  :D
I think it involves retractable bridges, and/or hungry animals. You could do that without controll, but it's less efficient.
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slowpokez

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Re: Cloudsprite(the peasant dwarf II?) -interactive story-
« Reply #935 on: November 19, 2013, 01:43:30 pm »

Why is it that everywhere I go life is just such utter shit? Can’t I catch a break sometime and end up somewhere without constant fear and discrimination? You always hear about how rich and pretentious the humans are but these people are poor and dirty, living in fear of an external threat. Even Silverdrop with all its extensive riches had very harsh living conditions and a broken rulership… Oh, how I miss Rocklod…               
Pfff, life is a cruel game; you just outta know how to play.
Yea, and whenever and when you’re about to lose you cheat the ever living shit out of life!                                 
To be honest with you, Rocklod was a pretty shitty place too, really behind the times when it comes to technology and with a constant goblinthreat ‘round the corner. It was just a matter of time before it went down.                                         
I guess…                                       
All right, enough sobbing! Now we got to plan our next course of action.                                                      
We could go kill some humans?
Nah, not with ribs like these.
I think I know how we could become heroes…
We’re listening…
Okay, we seduce the swordsman by…
For fuck sake…
...wearing our cape as a shirt and flirting with this swordsman. Trick him into drinking too much for his pitiable human liver and have him undress. Sleep with him until he passes out (I guess this part is optional), and kill him by slitting his throat. We'd be the 'hero' of this 'town'!
There are more faults with this plan than what I could list in a lifetime…
*To the constant chitter-chattering about blood spill Nerin slowly falls into a deep slumber*

Morrow come- the man of the house as well as his son had already left and I guess I’d just missed breakfast. Well, the maid pointed me to some scraps strewn around the dining area and even though it was far from a robust meal I had no complaints after a few days in the wilderness. The sudden tranquility in this little town made realize that my bag was reeking and bursting to its rims with useless crap, maybe I should clean it out a bit…
First off I dropped all the rotten shit; rotten meat, the heads of the goblins and the goblin stomach which disintegrated into a pool of acid upon dropping unto the ground.  Some voices pointed out that the shrunken heads might rot as well, which was of course opposed by others since shrunken heads are dried beyond the point of spoilage. I was completely indifferent to the outcome and in the end they were still to be part of my inventory, of course without anything resembling a purpose being stated. I decided to keep the key and the unlabeled bottle which contained a murky liquid with a stingy aroma, probably not for drinking though. As I tried to rid myself of more useless stuff the voices stopped me and prompted that I would seek up a market and sell off all the junk.

Sigh… off I go!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
After a quick searched which went from one end of town to the other I realised that there probably was no market, what a shitty place.
I started looking for a small horse or a pony, anything really that might speed up my travels but all I found was a singly hoarse horse probably serving both as a work animal and a mount. To be honest I was a bit glad we didn't find anything as I assume the voices would've wanted me to aquire it through Illegitimate means. Ah well...

Instead I bought some beet spirits for me and a turnip for the elf from one of the farmers, a lot of the people I passed gave me some hard to read looks. Perhaps they’d never seen a dwarf before, perhaps they found my choice of goods to be strange or maybe they had something against me? Hard to tell as I’m not too involved in the relation between dwarves and humans, but last I checked we were both allies and business partners. Hmm…
I went back to where I had left off the elf. He looked more like some weird swamp creature then an elf at this point, covered in mud with rainwater drizzling down his hair and horribly emaciated features. I didn’t think it was possible to enjoy a turnip to such an extent but Amathspar proved me wrong. The voices whom were very disappointed in the elves lack of fighting abilities had me fashion together a simple sling from a goblin loincloth and a rock. I prompted him to take it however he denied my offer and claimed that only those weak of will have to succumb to violence, further promising that the next time such a situation arose he’d talk our adversaries out of it. I spent the rest of the day drinking with Wilfred, once dusk was approaching I returned to the abode where I had taken residence for the time being.

The owner of the house was however not too thrilled about my return and exclaimed that this was in fact not a charity housing for filthy travellers. As he explained the core of my predicament I caught a glimpse of his son finding the speech amusing while his wife stood in silence with a sincere frown on her face. I guess the impact of my previous entry had worn off as well as their welcoming attitude. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned from “reading” all those books it’s that humans  can always be bought, and for just a few coins and a minute of bargaining they once again changed their mind.
This dinner was not quite as pleasant this time around since my senses weren’t dulled from battle and starvation I could pick up on the desperation in their voices, the depressing desperation of oppression. Also their rare conversations were peaked with racial slurs obviously angled towards me, resulting in me having to work pretty hard on holding back the voices attempting to go on a murdering spree. This awkward status quo was finally broken when I heard raised voices from outside the window.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

-Shouldn’t we help him!?
-Do as you please, don’t get us involved though.
-But he’s from your town; you can’t let stuff like this happen in broad daylight!
-Ah, keep your trap shut, ya fckn mole.
-…
I hesitate for a moment too long and the bandits are gone and the assailed man managed to wobble away.
But then again if these people manage to keep an entire city on edge what can I realistically do!?
I felt kind of angry as I returned to bed, I'm rarely angry but it seems to have caused bit of a turmoil in my head. The voices take this opportunity to return to one of their favourite activities; gruesome murder with a symbolic twist justified by a long and complicated explanation based off of the paranoid ones twisted moral standards.
Have you considered that we might have moral reasons to kill the maid? Humans are inherently filthy creatures, it is one of the many burdens they inflicted upon themselves by being human. The maid is something they invented to ease their punishment, as they try to lower the filth. It is marginally effective, as you can barely remove filth by using other filth. It is, however, a symbolic gesture of their unwillingness to accept their rightful uncleanliness. To let the maid live would be to let the humans get away with being human. We cannot stand for such an injustice.
Others whom felt my inherit dislike towards humans did for once feel the need to stop me from committing to such acts, as if I had something to do with it.  No, this went on for quite some time, back and forth continuously; some even rationalized these acts by implying a need to explore the gauntlets usage. In the end the whole thing ended in a compromise involving scouting out the situation but no preemptive killing. As I passed the maids room I heard a strange noise, (are they on to me!?), luckily I’m quite sneaky from all the hiding around at Blackgate. Nothing happens and the sound remains constant. Hmmm, perhaps I should investigate.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Ahhh fuck! Why do I always have to get a look of someone’s hairy ass-crack when I do this!? Why can’t there never be some hot lesbians bathing or a perfectly stealable pile of jewelry or something!? Fuck...
This is wierd Nerin.
What?
Are you stupid? That's the farmer dude who owns the house and the maid.
So what, people do what they want?
No, humans can't do what they want. They got like lots of ethics and rules concerning this kind of stuff, like marrige and those kinda things.
Dwarves get married too...
That's completly different, then it's just a good excuse to get drunk for three days straight!
Well anyway, that kind of spoiled that plan, how 'bout you keep looking around in 'ere, eh?
Sure...

The other two in the household seemed to be sleeping soundly so I took a look around the house. The place looked better than most of the other houses around but it was clear that this habitation had seen better days. There was a lot of stuff unusual for a poorer household stuffed into the corners, chandeliers, heirlooms, spices, carpets, ink, paper and so on. Their supply of liquor was disappointingly small for a dwarven taste, also too small to steal anything unnoticed.

Hmmm, what to do next? Actually start killing humans? Attempt to defeat the bandits? Steal some things like books or food and make a run for it. Or I guess we could just rest up another day and then journey out without getting too involved.

gman8181

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Re: Cloudsprite(the peasant dwarf II?) -interactive story-
« Reply #936 on: November 19, 2013, 02:11:54 pm »

Wake up the wife and tell her what's going on. Watch the hilarity ensue. Then... maybe... kill them all?

Also, couldn't we have kept the goblin heads? :(
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AfellowDwarf

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Re: Cloudsprite(the peasant dwarf II?) -interactive story-
« Reply #937 on: November 19, 2013, 02:35:01 pm »

Wake up the wife and tell her what's going on. Watch the hilarity ensue. Then... maybe... kill them all?

Also, couldn't we have kept the goblin heads? :(
I like this plan. Maybe we can tell the wife that we were woken up by screams coming from the maid's room, and suspect there might be a bandit inside. Hand her a knife from the kitchen. Maybe we could replace the goblin heads with human ones?

We could also use fire on the house, after grabbing a few valuables. Maybe a hammer to match our chisel if one's at hand? We then set fire to a nearby house(if we can do so undetected) and leave.

Edit: I suppose we would start this fire by the maid's room, as the farmer and maid will be the first to react. We can light something dry first, a shrunken head perhaps, to get the fire going. I suppose that stealing children during the commotion would be a little too risky. Maybe if we find some oil here, we could dump it in the water source and have the human's efforts to stop the fire be in vain.
« Last Edit: November 19, 2013, 03:20:53 pm by AfellowDwarf »
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gman8181

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Re: Cloudsprite(the peasant dwarf II?) -interactive story-
« Reply #938 on: November 19, 2013, 03:38:44 pm »

Yeah tell her we heard screaming and give her a weapon. While their distracted fighting each other we can go about looting the house and walk outside. When we're outside, hopefully they'll still be inside and we can set the place ablaze.

Leave a note for the bandits saying we weren't impressed with their work and we're challenging them to take things up a notch.

Putting oil in their water source is also a really funny idea.
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AfellowDwarf

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Re: Cloudsprite(the peasant dwarf II?) -interactive story-
« Reply #939 on: November 19, 2013, 03:47:04 pm »

Leave a note for the bandits saying we weren't impressed with their work and we're challenging them to take things up a notch.
Ooh, we're provoking the bandits.. I like it.
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Tirion

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Re: Cloudsprite(the peasant dwarf II?) -interactive story-
« Reply #940 on: November 19, 2013, 03:49:15 pm »

Yeah tell her we heard screaming and give her a weapon. While their distracted fighting each other we can go about looting the house and walk outside. When we're outside, hopefully they'll still be inside and we can set the place ablaze.

Leave a note for the bandits saying we weren't impressed with their work and we're challenging them to take things up a notch.

Putting oil in their water source is also a really funny idea.

Put the unidentified liquid in their water source instead. We can use oil later.
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AfellowDwarf

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Re: Cloudsprite(the peasant dwarf II?) -interactive story-
« Reply #941 on: November 19, 2013, 03:52:48 pm »

Put the unidentified liquid in their water source instead. We can use oil later.
We don't know if the unidentified liquid is flammable, though.
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Tirion

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Re: Cloudsprite(the peasant dwarf II?) -interactive story-
« Reply #942 on: November 19, 2013, 06:51:39 pm »

Put the unidentified liquid in their water source instead. We can use oil later.
We don't know if the unidentified liquid is flammable, though.

So? They don't set fire on their water, they drink it. Oil on water would be noticable and harmless in most situations, a half* bottleful of stuff in a well is potentially neither.
*Keep some of it, we want to observe it's effects so we know how we can use it later.
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gman8181

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Re: Cloudsprite(the peasant dwarf II?) -interactive story-
« Reply #943 on: November 19, 2013, 06:55:19 pm »

The idea was that they'll use the water to put out the fire we suggested starting.

We set fire.

We put oil in water.

People attempt to put out fire using above mentioned water.

Oil in water makes fire worse.

That was the general idea anyway.
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NAV

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Re: Cloudsprite(the peasant dwarf II?) -interactive story-
« Reply #944 on: November 20, 2013, 05:19:20 pm »

+1 setting fires (as long as it only harms the bandits).
+1 oil in water.

-1 to putting the mysterious liquid in the well. We should test its effects on a single person first. How about Amathspar the elf?
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The face on the toaster does not look like one of mercy.
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