On one hand I was kinda glad that I brought the elf along as he accually knows the way but due to his shitty condition we were moving at the pace of a bloody tortoise. The trade caravan he arrived with had made the journey in about two weeks while we were looking at more like six. Apart from our elven companion being all beat up we have some other problems right around the corner such as the lack of food, apart from Wilfred we didn't really bring anything edible. Sigh...let's not even think about the apparent absence of booze...
I guess we'll have to solve those things as they come up along the way.
As the vegitation grows denser I begin to feel uneasy as memories of my crazed journey within the wilderness starts emerging, I need a distraction...
One of the voices suggests that perhaps I should strike a conversation with the elf...this decision was greatly opposed by some voices whom still did not agree with treating an elf as anything but a prisoner.
-Uhmm...
I don't really know what to talk to him about...I got fckn problems talking to dwarves and I've never even seen an elf before...
Ask him if he can speak to trees, it might come in handy later down the line.
Yea otherwise you might just ask him about the elven culture in general, our collected knowledge is quite slim after all...
-What?-Uhmm...can you talk to trees?
-...what?-So elves can't talk to trees?
-No, how the do you imagine a tree speaking anyway?-Uhmmm...
-Dwarves, pfff.-Uhmm, what is the elven culture like?
-Well...For starters we're a proud race with acual moral standards as opposed to you dwarves or those backstabbing humans whom are slaves to your own greed. We value life over all, to kill another creature the absolute sin. Of course sometimes one has to fight to protect and even though the elves are not eager to draw arms we fight with a grace unparalleled in any other culture. -Wait, I thought you ate people!? Like a cannibal...
-That...uhmm...Well some warriors do that to ridicule the ways of the other races, proving that all life is sacred and thus they should be treated equally. Furthermore we understand the concept of beauty and appriciate it in all its forms. The simple beauty of a single drop of moring dew slowly climbing across the rigid surface of a têran petal or the shear complexity the stars form across the celestial drapes of the gloomy nighttide....Boooooooring....
Guys, quiet!
Fuck this shit man just kill the elf, I can't take anymore of his bullshit!
But...
We can't go all the way with this bastard, let's go back and get some better people!
*Almost an hour of elf talking to noone and voices arguing amongst eachother later*
So...we're going back?
Yes.
Well...I...uhh...sigh...
-I...think we ahve to go back...
-What? Why? You forgot something?-Yea...you might say that...
-Well, I'm not going back in there! -No, just wait for me outside and I'll get it done...could you maybe fget some food while I'm gone?
-I'm a bloody musician, how do you suppose I'd get a hold of some food!? Play some elven tunes and hope that some nice dwarf walks by and drops me a loaf of bread or what!?
-Ah well...you're an elf I've heard you're good with nature and all that...
-Now we're just being racist here.
Okay, that's it Nerin cut his bloody head off!
Stab him in the eye!
Burn him on a bonfire of fresh oak logs!
-I think...*hand begins reaching towards the dagger* ...I'll move on...*eyes twitching and arms shaking as I muster up enough strength to contest the murderous intentions of the voices* ahead...
-Bring something to eat...and no animals!
*Back on the road traveling south*
So... why are we going back again?
To find more reliable allies!
Well...who did you have in mind, as you might've noticed I'm better at making enemies than friends...
Don't hate me too much but I suggest we go back and grab the nurse for a healthy 3 person team along with the essential female member.
How did you plan on... persuading her to join our cause?
Rope. Definitely rope.That...I'm not sure if I'm okay with this...
Yes, maybe you're right. Then how about we just do it like this instead-Take a dirt-cheap coffin off the market, bring it to the lookout point. Lure the nurse there. Knock her out1 2, tie her with the rope. Roll up the fisherman's cap and put it in her mouth.(add hair for flavor) Then put her in the coffin and drag it outside.
Alternatively we could do this using the round end of our axe, or by pushing her off the stairs. We may also try to strangle her. We could even pretend she is halucinating the whole 'elven' bussiness(or the whole 'dwarven' business if that's prefered) as a result of a nasty bump to the head. We can tell her that we know one another from the AEA(Anonymous Elven Alchoholics) to justify our alchohol dependency, and that's she's been 'lending her services' to old hairy dwarves in exchange for alchohol to mess with her head.(The round ears are a birth defect that stop us from hearing trees... at this point the ramblings of the paranoid one just dissolves into loose words of conspiracies and spermwhales...How about we don't do that...
Or we could... you know... ask her to come with us without turning this into a clusterfuck like we always do, we can persuade her, no dwarf would ever turn down a chance to gather a fortune, right?
I still don't know... 'cause at the same time most dwarves aren't much for traveling...
I think we're not looking over our options properly here! Why not get the doctor to join us himself instead of the nurse? His insanity makes it a heck of a lot more likely that he'll join us.(and he's effeminate enough to count as a female member) We can even play the 'study of elven atonomy angle.'But he's crazy...
Crazy enough to join us! Ok, ok how about Esmar!? Or Ironion!? He would be dumb enough to join us for sure!!!Calm down a bit...
We could also try the warden's slave hordes!This is brilliant! His guards have taken a hit, so he'll be worse at checking up on them! As for the slaves themselves!? They can have a variety of skills, are rather likely disengruntled with the dwarves and don't have much to live for at the moment!! Low risk, high gain!!!!!!That is the epitome of stupidity! You really want to try recruit people under direct control of our enemy?
That's why it's so brilliant!Noone would ever expect it!!! Oh wait, wait!! I got another idea!!! If we get an entire family to come with us, we'd have two pairs of extra hands on board!! We could use the children as pack-mules!!! And...
Once again the ramblings slowly disintegrate into nothingness...*A few hours later we reach Silverdrop again*
Seems like they've got a guard up...
Should we maybe just try and get in as a resident of Blackgate? Or maybe it'd be better to wait for someone else to come by and sneak in then...but that might take a while...Then there's always the possibility of waiting until nightfall...perhaps it'd be better to just go with the original plan if we can't get in? hmmm...