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Keep on going downstraem

0 (0%)

Time for some heroic swimming?...no?

0 (0%)

Find a dead tree or other long object, work as a group to hoist it across. (With emphasis on actually finding said object...)

4 (44.4%)

Invent some absurd creation involving rope and stuff which slowly pulls tied up people across…

5 (55.6%)

Total Members Voted: 9

[gman8181]

It's not the greatest disguise but neither was rubbing snot and dried blood on our beard.  It's just a temporary plan, so we can pretend to be a noble and make a move towards taking over the fort.

[AfellowDwarf]

It's not the greatest disguise but neither was rubbing snot and dried blood on our beard.

Hey! The blood just didn't stick, okay?

[slowpokez]

We're facing a man-child here. One that possesses something sharp. Unless we can breathe fire or something, we shouldn't play the god angle.

What's that butter knife (sword) made out of anyways? Copper?

It's a sheathed blade just very poorly shadowed

Yet another poll up...

[gman8181]

Murdering him discreetly is up twice.

[slowpokez]

Fckn polls! They're the bane of my existence

Edit: there finally got all 5 options on there. Not touching anything o______O

[xominxac]

Murder him discreetly not in public.  Also wear his clothes and assume his identity.  If we can coerce that guy to sing for us, our disguise will be flawless.

You'd want to be taken for that guy? And heck, I'd try my luck at a hammering if the alternative was listening to that song everytime we met anyone.

Oh my word, the thought of people even thinking we are him is just horrifying.

[AfellowDwarf]

I say we give scampers a title when we take over this fort, and make Ironion serve him.

[slowpokez]

-I got no time for this, I am Nerin LORD OF THE GLITTERING CAVES!
-What...
-You are no more then a speck of dust at my feet, an insect, a worm! You might not comprehend my divine authority but you shall taste my wrath!
*At this point one of the voices tried to wip out my cock, needless to say I managed to stop it. However it took an surprising amount of effort*
-I didn't do anything!...And my dad could kick your ass.

Before even letting him finsish his sentence I turned my back on him and continued onwards into the depths of the fort. Besides the obvious differences between nobles and mere workers there was another major divergence, all the scranty soldiers armed only with an old copper sword and a buckler had been replaced by hoardes of battlehardened veterans. Upon reaching the mayors chamber I was searched by atleast half a dozen dwarves, most seemed confused by the contents of my backpack...
 
The room was of truly epic proportions, it might have been my imagination but I don't even think that one could see the back wall. But I guess the actual reason to why it was so hard to focus on trivial things such as the size would be the vast amount of gold lying there in piles taller then many trees. Well, to call it a pile would be bit of an understatement as it literary looked like a landscape of golden hills. I don't share this strong feeling of greed that I've seen in the hearts of so many dwarves but even I felt something aching inside me as I viewed the neverending sea of gold. The room was very dark but for a small lamp standing upon a stone desk of meager quality. The table seemed like an oasis of modesty in a desert of excessive wealth, the lamp intrigued me just as much but not because it was ordinairy in any way but because I'd never seen a lamp before. It burned bright just like a torch but no smoke left it's flame, I guess it's some human invention or something wierd made by the elves.
At the table sat a lone dwarf. He was very short even by dwarven standard, somehow his lack of height accually made him even more intimidating. Suddently he looked up at me with sunken, dark eyes. 

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Our eyes met and we stared at each other in silence, I guess he was probably evaluating me while I simply didn't know what to say.
-Uhhm...I am Nerin...lord of the glittering caves.
-State your purpose.
-I...hnngg... I am the leader...as well as...the last survivor of Rocklod.
-So you are telling me that something happned to the outpost?
-We...we're ambushed by....uhmm...goblins.
-Well, well never really liked that dirty hole anyway.
-Huh?
-Do I have to repeat myself?
-You can't....can't say that! I'm the leader of Rocklod!
-Was*.
-I demand a band of six ablebodied dwarves to reclaim my home!
-No.
-The King wouldn't take it very well if he'd knew that, a legitimate noble, in his hour of need, carrying important news for the mountain home, has been mistreated by a pompous fool!

*The mayor suddently went quiet for a moment but when he spoke up once again he seemed slightly amused*
-Well, can you somehow validate your story, I would very much like to believe you but as a leader you cannot be so naive.

He knows we're lying!
Keep calm Nerin.
But...but...
Nerin, you should talk and act like the noble you are! not a spineless peasant! you were a lazy bastard all your life, have the other nobles take a look at your hands, are those the work-weary hands of a peasant? No! Muster all the security you have, look him in the eyes, and threaten the damn fool!

-Then tell me Mayor does these hands look like the hands of a common peasant!? Change your attitude this very second or the king will be hearing about this!
*The mayor gives a slow applause*
-What is that supposed to mean?
-Nothing, you're a very convincing dwarf Nerin.
-So?
-But.
-I'm warning you!
-You seem very young to be Rolof Gravevictor.
-Uh...

Carp! He knew the old dorfs name!
Nerin.
He has just been fckn with me all this time, he must've known from the start!
Nerin!
This...This is...
Nerin!
What!?
Leave fast.

-Uhmm I am...Rolof's son.
-I don't think so.
-I'll get going now, don't worry.

-You there!-He calls out to the dwarves at the door- Would you show this little lord the way out perhaps? And you, could you go and get Tenebrosus?
One of the guards pulls me out while the other one hurries off to some unknown location.

Oh well...That was bit of a failure.
Nah, bad luck mate.
So you say.
Well, how could we know that he knew the old guy.
It was a shitty plan to begin with.
You lazy bastard, you don't want to do anything!
Maybe! but at least then I don't end up fckn things up.
No pain no gain loser.
You guys suck. Why did I have to go insane...sigh
.
.
.
Guys?
.
.
.
Did I regain my sanity!?
Shhh
No...I guess not
Shut up.
What?
Listen.
...I don't hear anything.
Exactly.
Where are everyone?
.
.
.
Nerin run.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

____________________________
Quite a tricky situation. Hundreds of guards back the way he came and now this character is standing in between him and the rest of the fort.

[☼!!Troll Fur Sock!!☼]

Run past him screaming "IT"S NOT A ZOMBIE IT"S NOT A ZOMBIE IT"S NOT A ZOMBIE IT"S NOT A ZOMBIE IT"S NOT A ZOMBIE IT"S NOT A ZOMBIE"

[AfellowDwarf]

Dang it, this figure is out for our skin. Maybe if we smoke the sock, the flour and the chestnuts, we could create a smoke curtain? (and rush towards the exit while wildly flailing our arms around?)

Edit:
I believe Ironion was right. This guy, this 'Tenebrosus' is the mayor's second. We have made ourselves a threat to the mayor, and he won't stop untill we're dead and memorialized. We could go back to Ironion, beg him on our knees for protection.(But to be frank, I'd rather let this guy have his way with us then stoop that low.)

[Tevish Szat]

Run at him with a speed born only of stark terror, then when getting close, duck and roll to get past.

If he engages us in combat, martial trance!

[AfellowDwarf]

If he engages us in combat, martial trance!

Should we bind the flour sack to the pipe in preparation? I don't think we have anything else that would pass as a weapon.

[gman8181]

Shout that there's a wereboar behind him and to look out.  Run while he's distracted.  Actually let's go get infected by a wereboar.  Then capture a bunch of boogeymen in a cage trap and release them in the fort.  They will fear the night!

[AfellowDwarf]

Shout that there's a wereboar behind him and to look out.  Run while he's distracted.  Actually let's go get infected by a wereboar.  Then capture a bunch of boogeymen in a cage trap and release them in the fort.  They will fear the night!

I still believe we should make a back entrance into the fort and conquer it with a elf-goblin colloberation effort.

[gman8181]

I'd rather not ally with elves but I'm okay will allying with either humans or goblins.  Can we still be a wereboar though?  Please?!?  We can cut off our limbs and beat people to death with them.  Even better, we can become a necromancer, cut off our limbs, reanimate our limbs and have said limbs beat people to death on their own.