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Author Topic: Lets sing a dwarven song!  (Read 1447 times)

Scruffy

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Lets sing a dwarven song!
« on: January 17, 2013, 10:06:27 am »

Baydwellers!
Sing with us!

Make your own songs and share them with us!

To Dorftopia
Outside badgers are lining
Fisherdwarves dieing
Moods always failing
--Dorftopia--
Where migrants are swarming
Pesky noble often drowning

To Dorftopia!
Where caravans fear to tread
While brokers go to bed
--Dorftopia--
Here masons are trapped
No magmavent left untapped

To Dorftopia!
Baywatchers scheming
Our doom they are brewing
--Dorftopia--
Here !!FUN!! is certain
We believe in !!SCIENCE!! eternal

To Dorftopia!
Where peasants are starving
Migrants rarely hauling
--Dorftopia--
Here militias are recruiting
Nobles' mandates failing
All this while the parties never ending

To Dorftopia!
Where elves are slaughtered
Cats never neutered
--Dorftopia--
Plumphelmets planted
Mugs often crafted

To Dorftopia!
Where booze is brewing
Magma always flowing
Inside madness ensuing
--Dorftopia--
The depths where clowns are prowling
dwarves always hoarding

To Dorftopia
Where 'bolds are skulking
Tantrums ensured in
Because we all live in
--Dorfopia!--

--That is where I wanna go--

« Last Edit: January 20, 2013, 04:25:13 pm by Scruffy »
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The weredwarf Urist McUrist has come! A bearded drunkard twisted into minute form. It is crazed for booze and socks. Its unwashed beard is tangled. It needs alcohol to get through the working day and has gone without a drink for far too long. Now you will know why you fear the mines.

Et tu, Urist

Scoops Novel

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Re: Lets sing a dwarven song!
« Reply #1 on: January 17, 2013, 11:07:49 am »

To the Tunecrafters!
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Arcjolt (useful) Chilly The Endoplasm Jiggles

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Pokon

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Re: Lets sing a dwarven song!
« Reply #2 on: January 17, 2013, 07:26:02 pm »

Y'all act like you never seen a dwarven fortress before
 Jaws all on the floor like a elf just burst in the door
 And Urist started swinging his axe better than before
 They were traden, throwin her after talking over wooden furniture!

 It's like the return of the-
 
Aw naw, no way, you're kidding,
 he didn't just say the name Cacame, did he?"

 And the baron said... nothing you twits!
 The barons dead, he's being eaten by Giant Cave Spiders! (Praise the Miners!)

 
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A vile force of dark'ness has arrived, led by their champion Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way.

Ameablable

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Re: Lets sing a dwarven song!
« Reply #3 on: January 19, 2013, 10:02:43 am »

I can totally see someone singing dorftopia like a brd with a lute. Any baydwellers have a lute and are brave enough to sing it for us?
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Scruffy

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Re: Lets sing a dwarven song!
« Reply #4 on: January 20, 2013, 04:27:33 pm »

Y'all act like you never seen a dwarven fortress before
 Jaws all on the floor like a elf just burst in the door
 And Urist started swinging his axe better than before
 They were traden, throwin her after talking over wooden furniture!

 It's like the return of the-
 
Aw naw, no way, you're kidding,
 he didn't just say the name Cacame, did he?"

 And the baron said... nothing you twits!
 The barons dead, he's being eaten by Giant Cave Spiders! (Praise the Miners!)
Nice  ;D
Logged
The weredwarf Urist McUrist has come! A bearded drunkard twisted into minute form. It is crazed for booze and socks. Its unwashed beard is tangled. It needs alcohol to get through the working day and has gone without a drink for far too long. Now you will know why you fear the mines.

Et tu, Urist

Loud Whispers

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Re: Lets sing a dwarven song!
« Reply #5 on: February 28, 2013, 06:48:15 pm »

Mr. McDwarf.


Now I'm building a cage,
And I've been digging lignite,
Gotta gotta dig down,
Because I'll smelt it all,

It started out with a pick,
How did it end up like this?
It was only a pick,
It was only a pick,

Now the broker's asleep,
And the caravan's here,
While the lever is pulled,
And the cave-in is bad,

Now they're all diagnosed,
And their stomach is bruised,
And it's all in my head,

And she's selling our mugs now,
Interrupt this task now,
Let me go,

I just can't loo(k), beware its flames,
An FB's arrived,

Avarice, burning mountains to the trees,
Smelting all your metal crafts,
Choking on the miasma,

But it's just the price we pay,
Fortresses are calling me,
As I build my useless wharf,
Cause' I'm Urist McDwarf.

Someone died of old age,
And I've been making more slabs,
Gotta gotta engrave,
We'll memorial all,

It started out with a pick,
How did it end up like this?
It was only a pick,
It was only a pick,

Now the broker's asleep,
And the caravan's dead,
While the lever is pulled,
And the magma's all gone,

Now they're going to bed,
And the Fort is on fire,
And the smoke is too much,

But the Yak's on fire now,
It burns all the farms now,
Cook more roasts,

Cause' I just can't look at shiny veins,
Of tetrahedrite,

Avarice, burning mountains to the trees,
Smelting all your metal crafts,
Choking on the miasma,

But it's just the price we pay,
History's recording me,
Everyone's an endomorph,
And I'm Urist McDwarf.

Your Fortress...
Your Fortress...
Your Fortress...
Your Fortress...

Big Bear

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Re: Lets sing a dwarven song!
« Reply #6 on: February 28, 2013, 08:23:02 pm »

We set off from the Mountainhomes
and settled in this place.
Evil poison rain came down,
and ate off Urist's face.
He's in such a funky mood,
and running around in haste.
Now he's trying to make an artifact,
and he's a basket case.

Yaaaaaa yaaaaa yaaaaa yaaaaaa!
Strike the earth!

Surrounded by the undead,
there's nowhere left to hide.
Everyone is in a panic,
I'll lock them all inside.
Ten cats placed inside a minecart,
I hope they like the ride.
Let's launch them at the invaders,
It's the only thing we haven't tried.


Yaaaaaa yaaaaa yaaaaa yaaaaaa!
Strike the earth!

Urist cancels dig orders,
attacked by a were-beast.
Urist cancels build orders,
attending a dwarven feast.
Urist cancels build cage trap,
Killed by undead host.
Urist cancels stay dead,
he's turned into a ghost.

Yaaaaaa yaaaaa yaaaaa yaaaaaa!
Strike the earth!

Our fortress is a disaster,
blood and vomit everywhere.
Only one barrel of booze left,
it's not enough to share.
Tantrum spiral is unleashed,
there are riots in the hall.
Ten years to build this fortress,
only two minutes to watch it fall.

Yaaaaaa yaaaaa yaaaaa yaaaaaa!
Strike the earth!  (Repeat 3 times)
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Avelon

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Re: Lets sing a dwarven song!
« Reply #7 on: March 01, 2013, 06:02:01 pm »

Avelon carefully tunes his ≡oak guitar≡ and plays a soft, sweet melody. After about 10 seconds of this he begins wildly slapping the instrument as the sound of dozens of dwarves cheering and banging their mugs on stone tables keeps time to a lively drinking song!

Strike the earth!
Or are ye daft?
Ye'd better work
or YE'LL BE SMASHED!
The drowning room soon follows birth
if ye aren't born swinging - STRIKE THE EARTH!

A spirited fiddle joins in with a jaunty solo while first one half, then the other half of the dwarves stop keeping time to take a drink.

Strike the earth!
and smooth the stone,
for rough-hewn walls
are scarcely home!
Fire the forge 'til the mountain's hot!
An' if ye don't work, ye'll fuel the pot!

A flute abruptly cuts in as the fiddle repeats its solo, playing a catchy counter-melody

*THUD* *THUD* *THUD* *THUD*

STRIKE THE EARTH!
STRIP IT BARE!
SMELT THE ORE
AND DELVE THE LAIR!

*THUD* *THUD* *THUD* *THUD*

A long dancing pattern emerges from the chaos of a hundred drunken beards with dwarves attached, swinging one another around by anything grabbable and all, somehow, without a single reveler spilling a drop.

Strike the earth 'til blade is dull,
drink until yer beard is full!
Sleep a week then stay up four!
Drink 'til ye can see no more!

The music abruptly slows as every dwarf, with an arm around the shoulders of at least one fellow, raises his mug high to complete the dirge-like final verse.

Strike the earth and strike it hard,
for gems, for ores, without regard!
Strike until your arms fall off...
The music stalls for several seconds before it all comes crashing to a climactic end.
...and we'll sew the buggers back on!

"HUZZAH!"
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Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able, and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God? - Epicurus

Urist McScoopbeard

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Re: Lets sing a dwarven song!
« Reply #8 on: March 01, 2013, 07:32:05 pm »

Caravan

" To the Mountainhome far
we must travel!
'neath the bright stars
our myst'ries unravel!
and 'ere the sun rises
confront we shall
the many surprises
that await us in hell!

To the Mountainhome far
we must travel!
we must travel all night
and all day!
for we are the dwarves of the deep
and we dwarves must have it our way!

To the Mountainhome far
we must travel!
'neath the bright stars
our myst'ries unravel!
yet so soon we depart
and our travel begins
and so far apart
are our loved ones again!

To the Mountainhome far
we must travel!
we must travel o'er mountain
and plain!
for we are the slayers of foes
and we slayers must have it our way "
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This conversation is getting disturbing fast, disturbingly erotic.

Baccar Wozat

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Re: Lets sing a dwarven song!
« Reply #9 on: March 02, 2013, 10:08:48 pm »

'Til the dwarf who looks like a toad came along,
Our bays only went to eleven.
Then he arrived, and led us a merry song,
The tune of a rampaging elephant.
And the dwarrow with three toes did tap to the sound
Which culminated in disaster,
A band of us beardos who dug underground,
And fought off the goblins like bastards.

The drinks and the plump helmets piled up in stock
As they staved off starvation and winter,
But their own front door they neglected to lock
And did not in the least goblins hinder.
So babies and goods were stolen by hoods
Never to be seen again;
Though they asked the elf traders, who misunderstood
Their barks to a former tree's glen.

Now they sit and they sulk, for the nobles in bulk
Have come and complained of the cold,
The drafty engravings could maybe use caulk,
But they'll treat them instead to the magma of old.
And the vampires and werebeasts did bite and slash
At the migrants who made it in time;
But the chicken convicted will fall to the lash
And make justice sick at the whimsical crime.

So let's raise up a mug for the one like a toad,
Whose mug is gruesome and cruel;
And also one who walks around three-toed
Whose stories and songs will rise and rule.
A fortress will fall, and stories will gall
But tales we'll tell forever won't end;
A mythical hall, for one and all
For us dwarves, who simply will re-worldgen.
« Last Edit: March 02, 2013, 10:17:37 pm by Baccar Wozat »
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Scruffy

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Re: Lets sing a dwarven song!
« Reply #10 on: March 04, 2013, 02:45:25 pm »

Dang, those are some great songs. I wish I could hear them sung by a proper bard.

A long dancing pattern emerges from the chaos of a hundred drunken beards with dwarves attached, swinging one another around by anything grabbable and all, somehow, without a single reveler spilling a drop.
I can almost see a large beerhall full of drunken dwarves singing and dancing. Loved the song.
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The weredwarf Urist McUrist has come! A bearded drunkard twisted into minute form. It is crazed for booze and socks. Its unwashed beard is tangled. It needs alcohol to get through the working day and has gone without a drink for far too long. Now you will know why you fear the mines.

Et tu, Urist

Ruhn

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Re: Lets sing a dwarven song!
« Reply #11 on: March 05, 2013, 05:54:41 pm »

Kudos on the songs everyone.
I didn't recognize the tune for a couple, but still enjoyable.

(Baccar's sig is the BEST.  Catsplosion!!  "You have no chance to survive, make your TIME.  hahaha")