Better turn up that quality dial a notch, because here comes pure unadulterated awesome. Exactly 1000 words of the first chapter of what will eventually become a 20,000 word novel spanning the mysterious and perhaps saucy relationship between Rilitia and Oric.
I regret nothing.
“NOOOOOOOO!” Rilitia cried as her manly woman fists destroyed the counter. Her dumb fighter strength shattered the wood, sending shopkeeper’s eyebrows into a victory frenzy. Once again, she had been outmaneuvered by their wriggling kind.
“It’s just not fair…” She muttered. One fountain pence. That’s all that she needed to buy that beautiful spear that she had always wanted. It was a darling piece of silver and gold, with nice orange ribbon highlights. Just her kind of colors, with a touch of class. It dealt damage with a 3d6+2 die and would be a worthy addition to her inventory ever since Ciro sold her old spear for stat points.
Oh Ciro. Rilitia sniffed despondently. Her waving silver hair shielded her pained eyes from the world’s malevolent gaze. That bastard finally did betray her, just like Oric said she would. Ciro made a new friend in the Dark Cathedral, one that had replaced her. It was a crab. That sings. What happened next was inevitable. Rillita was kicked out of the party so Sebastian the Singing Crab could take her place. Her humiliation had never been greater.
“Hey. Miss. You break it you buy it. And you just broke my wooden counter. That means you’ll have to buy my wood. If you get my- Drift-wood” The shopkeeper’s eyebrows oscillated furiously. Ah, the horrifying little leech! This corrupt cretin of the mercantile community! Her dignity had already been crushed by Ciro. Now her honor was to be besmirched as well!
“Please no! I don’t want to buy your wood!” Rilitia cried!
But the shopkeeper would not relent. His eyebrows were jostling and jangling rapidly, igniting tiny signal fires. Small puffs of smokes strode forth, flying into the sky and dissipating like all of her hopes and dreams. Oh the humanity! Tears streamed down from her from her hard chiseled, yet feminine face. The dumb fighter tears poured down, dealing critical damage to composure as she sank down to the floor. Shopkeeper loomed over her like the bronze colossus, menacing and giant.
“Stop right there! I’ll take that wood off your hands miss.”
Rilitia lifted her pitiful head. Who in the world? That voice! A bag of coins the size of her head hit the counter in front of her. A dashing man of black and red stood before her, a manly hero without any parallel. His lustrous white hair and perfect teeth. Every inch of him could only be described as awesome. Why, it was the man-hunk, Oric! The glorious human being of wondrous might placed his palms on the table and looked the shopkeeper dead in the eyes.
“Here’s what I think of you wood, bucko. If you don’t leaf right now, I’m going cut you down. No one will hear your dying scream in this neck of the woods.”
The shopkeeper’s eyebrows stopped oscillating as fear entered his heart. Never before had been in the presence of someone who was so perfect, so immaculate, and as handsome as Oric. His raging heart beat at a fever pitch.
The shopkeeper exclaimed aloud, “I would be honored for you to have my wood! Thank you! I am going now!” He turned away from Oric the Awesome and his busty broad of valor and quickly leapt out the nearby window. The shopkeeper fell twenty-seven stories to his death below, startling a pair of doves. Other onlookers were not so surprised and simply shook their heads. It was just the death of another salesman.
Meanwhile, Oric’s gaze turned to Rilitia. “Are you alright down there sweet cheeks?”
Rilitia blushed and wiped a wayward tear from her face. “Oh Oric-senpai… You noticed me! You… You’ve never noticed me before...”
Oric swept her off the floor and into his awesome arms. She could feel his awesome hands upon her upper forearm. They were like satin gloves, but in hand form. Oric then began to reply. His words rang like a bell and tasted like honey. “Oh Rilitia. I’ve always noticed you.”
Her eyes widened with surprise. “Y-you have? But… You’ve always treated me like… Like glass. I’m there, but you’ve always seen right through me Oric senpai…”
“No.” Oric replied as he shook his head. Wisps of his white hair drifted in the wind as he looked deep into her silver Athenian eyes. “I’ve always noticed you.”
Rilitia swooned. Her hands pushed a locket of hair silver out of the way of her eyes. “But… Why?” She asked.
“Because I see a little of me reflected in your beautiful, yet defined and powerful eyes.” Said Oric with a smile. The Oric in her eyes returned the grin with gusto.
“O-o-oh Senpai! This is absurd! If Ciro should ever find out about this, I’d-”
Oric placed his finger upon her lips. It smelled like vanilla ice cream. “Ciro doesn’t have to know Rilitia. This’ll be our little secret.”
He turned, his black robes flitting about the room as moved to the window. Down below, the two doves were beginning to cannibalize the shopkeeper’s remains. Oric clicked his tongue. “A pity he didn’t use the elevator. Now there is no one left to run the store.”
“Y-yeah.” Rilitia stuttered. What was wrong with her? She clasped a strong and mighty hand across her breast and bowed her head in thought. “Oh quivering heart! Ye freny beating creature, tell me what emotion I feel! Do not betray me now!
“Hey, you still in there sweet cheeks?” Oric asked. Rilitia bobbed her head up and down quickly. “Good. I’m going need some muscle in here. You and I are going to renovate this place. Spruce it up a bit. The shopkeepers have all had it too good for too long. It’s about time we gave them a bit of competition.”
Rilitia clapped both of her hands upon her mouth. “This is like a dream come true! Will we be getting new wood for the counter?”
Oric just smiled. “Oh, I’ve got all the wood you need right here.”
“Oh Oric-Senpai!”
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Topic: (ISG) The Warrens of Oric the Awesome ??? (Read 3952218 times)