So, I'm terrible at writing stuff, so I went and trolled fanfiction.biz for something cool to
be 'inspired' by.
'We Can Rebuild Her. Stronger. Faster. Sexier.'
A The Warrens of Oric the Awesome Fanfic by Snugglepuss420
"Are you sure this is really such a good idea, boss? I mean, I'm just a mercenary and all, but objectively speaking, this seems like a really, really terrible plan," Goom-Bess pointed out.
"Shenanigan, Goom-Bess. It's a shenanigan," Ciro stressed. "By their very definition they're terrible plans. That's what makes them work. Now, how's Al doing back there?"
"He's still secured, but I'm running out of SP to renew Locking Glass," Riltia called back. "He's going to be really angry when he finally gets free, you know..."
"That's why we've got you parked next to the SP fountain," Ciro replied. "Don't worry, though. Cherish'd be thanking us for this, and Al'll see that once we get her resurrected. Besides, this could have been any of us. It's not my fault Cherish was the one to fall into that pit full of searchbots!"
Goom-Bess chimed in again. "Actually, boss, it kinda wa-"
"Anyway," Ciro interrupted, "this plan is genius, and you should all feel bad for not coming up with it first. Now, let's do this thing! Slog! My tools!"
Slog looked up from his bag of Cheet-Os.
"Holy Essence!"
Slog dutifully spit up Cherish's remains from his own inventory into Ciro's.
"Ring of Sexiness!"
Slog blorbled that item forth as well.
"Fusion Scroll!"
The third item was released into Ciro's custody.
"Now!" Ciro cackled gleefully and rubbed her hands together. "FUSION HA!"
With a bright flash of light, the essence and ring were combined, coalescing into an Essence of Wholesome Sexiness, which Ciro stuffed into her inventory next to Cherish's essenceless soul star.
"Phase one complete! Now for Phase two! To the Greens! Riltia, you stay here and keep Al locked down. This should only take a couple of days," Ciro directed as she hoisted Slog onto her shoulders.
"A couple of da-" began the put-upon Glass Guardian.
"Knew I could count on you! See you then!" came the reply from the corridor, as the rest of the party departed for the Greens.
--------------------------------------Some length of time later-------------------------------------
"Great to see you again!" proclaimed the sinister antagonist and five-time winner of the Space-time Magazine 'Hottest Overlord' award. "We still have unfinished business from last time! Now, you will kill Riltia, or I shall end all of your companions' existences here and now! HEAGHEAGHEAGHEAGH!"
Ciro buffed her nails, an unimpressed look on her face. "Yeah. Or we could do this. Sic 'im, Cherish!"
The next thing Oric heard was an ear-piercing "SQUEEEEEEE!" before the heart on his shipping grid suddenly, involuntarily grew three sizes as he was bowled over by an armful of young girl seemingly moving at relativistic velocities.
"Well, that's that. We win. All's well that ends well." Ciro turned away from the scene of carnage and snogging to find Al frozen in a lunging position, encased in glass with hands stretched for Ciro's throat.
Then everybody laughed until the freeze frame.
--------------------------------------Cherish's House: Night----------------------------------------
Cherish woke up, sitting up in bed.
"Awww! Just a dream! But Goom-Bess will be so jealous! I'll have to tell her all about it in the morning!" Cherish stretched and went back to sleep, turning over her pillow to hide the drool spot she'd created during her dream make-out session.
"I wonder, though..." she mumbled as she drifted off. "Maybe that'd actually work? I'll have to get Ciro on it... in the morning... Zzzzzzz..."
-------------------------------------Oric's Office: Night------------------------------------------
Oric woke up, scattering the pile of paperwork he'd made into an impromptu pillow as he jerked upright.
"Spira! Take dictation! Note to self: Get that stupid ring away from the Target by hook or by crook! The blasted thing's giving me nightmares."
Oric shuddered as he lay his head back down on a wad of papers, not even checking to see if Spira was even there to follow his command. "Guh. Really? The little girl? I feel filthy now. Honk-HEAGHEAGHEAGHEAGH... Honk-HEAGHEAGHEAGHEAGH..."
------------------------------------Slog's Throne Room: Night----------------------------------------
Slog woke up. He blorbled comfortingly to himself, then looked accusingly at the half-empty bag of Cheet-Os he hd been eating before he fell asleep.
After a couple of seconds of eye contact, the two made up, and Slog finished the bag before going back to dreamland, lulled to slumber by the palm-frond fans of his many loyal servants.
-The End-
(Rolls: 2 (Cherish) 6 (Oric) 9 (All a dream)
my word count, but there's a lot of double-spacing in there, so it looks longer than it really is.