"Shur, doul! Blrgah mcfarwu afay blurp."
Translation: 
Stick pinky finger into maw.
(Henry end: 2+1)
You absent mindedly stick your pinky finger into the maw, and than scream in pain as it extends to clamp shut around your hand, which is cleanly severed by the teeth. If this is how drunk you are, then the hangover's gonna suck...
"Eeeeyooooowch! Damnation!"
Duck and cover, because that totally works against nukes. Give the swords a few swings while I'm at it, hopefully making sure I can see.
PS wielding katana in right with NERF CROTCH BAT in left.
(Average aff: 6)
You can't see anything at all due to your eyes not being attached to your face, but you swing the sword anyways, producing a faint buzzing noise as it slashes through the air.
Try and shoot lasers at the meteor. Sure, it's hopeless, but why not. After, do secret things.
This is it, then, thinks Kordos. This world is about to be destroyed, and I have nothing that can stop it, or even mitigate the damage. No one here does, except the one person who doesn't care if this world goes to hell. But I can't in good conscience return to HQ without making a proper go at the situation.
Kordos charges at Osborn, throws his spear at him, keeps running till he's close enough to read, and reads the words to summon a meteor.
hmmm...
SUPER SECRET PM STUFF HAHAHAHAHA!
((back to old habits))
Continue to punch the nearest guy EXCEPT the one who just drank my booze. Because my fists are all I have at this point.
(Random dex: 3)
(Kordos dex: 6+5)
(Osborn dex: 4)
(Strider dex: 3+1)
(Kordos dex: 1+5)
(Osborn dex: 6)
(Book aff: 1+2)
(Strider dex: 5+1)
(Random dex: 5)
(Strider str: 3+2)
(Random aff: 4+2)
(Strider end: 4-2)
(Random dex: 5)
(Osborn dex: 4)
(Random aff: 6+2)
(Random str: 6-2)
(Osborn end: 6+6)
Kordos charges at his nemesis and hurls his spear, forcing the black mage to step out of the way, leaving his grimoire open for the sheriff to read. As he recites the incantation, the air begins to shimmer, and a ball of black fire, although not nearly as large as the first one, envelops Osborn. There's a moment of silence as the black pillar spirals upwards, before Osborn steps out of it, his black armor burning blacker than ever as he reads off a spell, but it only produces a dark fizzle of sparks. Flames are beginning to gather around the second spell again, but it looks like it won't be of much use until they completely return. Meanwhile, on the other side of the arena, Strider charges at Random and delivers a mighty haymaker, but the blow bounces harmlessly off of Random's shield. Strider has just enough time to look down at his broken hand before a ripple of holy force from the barrier completely erases him from existence. Random then runs through the jungle and tackles Osborn. While his barrier extinguishes the flames on the armor just long enough for him to land a blow, Osborn simply shrugs it off, leaving Random with nothing more than a sore fist as both his barrier and Osborn's mantle of flames reappear.
(Meteor force: 9) Yep. One of the powers of the meteor spell was to roll it on a d10
(Average end: 5)
(Shirly end: 3-5)
(Random aff: 6+2)
(Random end: 4-2)
(Tamara end: 4+1)
(Mittensh dex: 1)
(Mittensh end: 4)
(Henry end: 5+1)
(Kordos end: 2-5)
Everyone braces themselves as the meteor comes crashing down, releasing a tsunami of black fire across the entire battlefield. Most are incinerated instantly, but Osborn hardly notices the heat through his armor, and Random's shield seems to be converting the flames into harmless light, which warps every which way. Just as things seem to be clearing up, the shield shatters, and Random is tossed several yards backwards as the wall of fire crashes into him, although he is mostly saved from the intense heat. As the last two treasure hunters glance at their surroundings, they notice that they are no longer atop a mountain. The entire arena appears to have been driven into the earth like a nail into wood, and they are standing in the middle of a charred patch of soil about a mile across. Past this small badland, they spy rolling plains to the east and west, a mountain range to the south, and some foothills to the north. As they marvel at their new surroundings, the six who had perished are replaced with seven.
AND I'LL FINISH THIS UP TOMORROW. BUT I HAVE TO GET COMMUNITY SERVICE HOURS, WHICH MEANS WAKING UP EARLY, WHICH MEANS THAT STAYING UP UNTIL 3:35 A.M. WAS A BAD IDEA. BUT YOU NOW KNOW WHO DIED. OSBORN GOT 5 KILLS THERE... WHATEVER HIS NEXT SPELL IS, IT'S GONNA BE GOOD.
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Topic: Looter's Delight: Considering Revival (Read 279319 times)