Alright! Urist McStupid the hammerdwarf has become notable as the first militadwarf to do something incredibly stupid and survive. I'm actually rather impressed.
Diary of Urist McKiwi, Dashing Swordsdwarf
25th Moonstone
Well, the ones of us who survived are back in the fortress. One angry hammerdwarf charged the undead at the gates. Smashed a couple of them while screaming his head off about a headache, then realised it wasn't such a good idea after all. He's swearing constantly as he heads back to the fortress. While I can't condone such language, I can't really blame him. This battle was an appalling failure...I'm not sure what made me order the charge. It made no sense..... I'm having the fortress sealed. When it is safe to go and recover our dead, we will do so....but for now, we must hide.
A skeleton seems to be chasing that hammerdwarf. We'll get him through the trap corridor and seal it up behind him. We lost seven or eight good soldiers and recruits this time....and no one's in any mood to continue. Am I losing my touch? Or is it this foul energy that taints our fortress?
26th Moonstone
The militia is stood down....the gates are shut. And while the would-be "heroes" who assailed us are gone, the undead remain. The militia is a shattered ruin of its former self, and there aren't enough dwarves to replenish our numbers. Damn this place! How can one be a dashing swordsdwarf in a place this utterly vile?
28th Moonstone
It is late in the year....and it will not be finished before I stand down. But I have started work on a tower to take on the undead hordes at our gates. We lack a good firing gallery for the marksdwarves who still remain. That will change.
I've informed the merchants of the situation. They are not happy, but they seem to understand the reality of the situation. I will admit, I am tempted to use The Crusher. But enough blood has been spilled for now......it is the time to rebuild, not the time to fight.
We interviewed the hammerdwarf today, as well as a few other soldiers who've been acting odd.... Set up a nice room for Udib and I with some desks and slates to take notes. We wanted to know why our military have been so lacking in judgement of late. Seems something's been messing with their heads...some kind of spirit or foul demon trying to possess them. The bad decisions and suicides are acidental...what the idea is seemt o be a full possession. No idea what might be that desperate to get in here, mind. Udib seems to know more than he lets on about this, and I'm thinking it might be worth persuading him to tell more....
On the plus side at least, the moat has been starting to calm as the pressure equalises after the firing of the Shroud. We can't use that thing to take out the undead (or the necromancer with them), but some day we might be able to use it as a weapon again.
28th Moonstone
As if things weren't bad enough....apparently we've got unicorns running wild down in the storage area now. Cages must have broken, unless some poor nutter let them out. I'll take care of that personally.
29th Moonstone
To quote a recent conversation:
"Have at thee, foul equine!" *stab*
"SIR!"
"Oh heavens, it's you again. What's gone wild this time? Crundle? Porcupine? That emu over there, perhaps?" *slash*
"No sir! THAT emu, over there!"
....I will admit, that as I looked at the bird, it did give me a look that I've only seen before in the eyes of a trained foe....a look of hatred. Malice...and glee. Then it was gone, and the bird went back to trying to peck the crundle in the next cage. How strange.....as if something took control for a moment.
Also why does he keep calling me "Sir?"... Admittedly, we're dwarves, and I do wear a full suit of armor at all times (something which makes sleeping rather inconvenient, although it does keep the vampires away), but I have told people that despite my name, I am most definitely female. The chap probably thinks you have to be male to be dashing. Hah!
2nd Opal
Operation "Death to Pointy Death-Horses" (Note to self: Do not allow Urist the Grey to name another operation while I am commander) continues, with a few marksdwarves and the other 5 survivors of the Royal Fist providing an audience for my pest-control demonstration. Apparently some of them were taking bets on whether or not I'd survive. Me! A Dashing Swordsdwarf of no small renown! I've killed more beasts than they could imagine. So I had Adil put a few bets on me, and we split the profits.
Only one unicorn is left now. Alas, it has chosen to hole up in one of the old living areas. While we dwarves have a natural advantage in such tight spaces, the beast is panicked by its confines, and this operation may actually become dangerous now...we'll head up there this evening.
3rd Opal
Alright, I'll admit it. That was not a good place to confront an angry unicorn. On the upside, it only got my leg, and it's just a scratch compared to the usual stuff we get here. Likot the Swordmaster came to my aid, for which I am grateful. Together, we dealt to the beast. Even better, Adil and I managed to make a tidy profit off the whole deal. I may be dashing, but dashing and rich is better any day.
4th Opal
Oh no. Nurse Cutey is headed this way. And she looks like she's planning on doing medicine...
That over-excited citizen turned up to report that all our tamed snakes (Armok knows why we have any of those have started coiling themselves into eldritch symbols. Udib ran for the door and knocked the nurse over on his way. I took the opportunity to escape down to the bunker. She'll never find me there.
8th Opal
I've got it! The way to keep that nurse accountable for her actions and away from me. I'll record it once I've had the conversation....my foot's nice and bandaged anyway, so she can't really do much...
"Ah! Nurse Cutey! I've been looking for you!"
"Like hell ye have! Ah've been up and down the stairs-"
"Good news! You're our new field medic!"
"Eh?"
"Report to the barracks for your complimentary silver warhammer and armor (In used condition, some dents and bloodstains)"
"But...but...ye can' take me away from the hospital! The others dinnae ken what-"
"I assure you, Nurse, that you will be more than able to continue your duties at the hospital in between your duties as a field medic. Report to Captain Udil Enoroddom immediately for your equipment and training."
9th Opal
Thank goodness. I managed to get some random seige operator to take a look at my leg while the surgeons were off being sober on duty (unacceptable, but I'm beyond caring at this point). I also got some passers-by to agree to haul the corpses out of the other beds.
The Royal Fist is now up to strength with new members drawn from the citizens. Still need basic training, but 4 out of our 5 veterans are well able to provide the necessary training. I've rewarded Likot's service by giving him the last of our adamantine swords. A fine weapon for a fine dwarf.
Now if I can just make it out of this hospital alive (given this operator claims to have "no training at all", I'm somewhat hopeful), I might just be able to continue serving this fortress. The other squads are still below strength.....ideally, I'd just merge two of them together into mixed squads. I'm not sure if that will go down well though....the soldiers who've been in these squads since they were formed are rather attached to them. Still, they mostly respect me, especially now I've been wounded in battle (admittedly, against a wild animal in an abandoned bedroom).
Apparently now the crundles are going insane. Whatever is trying to possess its way into the fortress is having a really bad go at it.
11th Opal
I'm told that work on the tower is going extremely well. With luck, we may have a rudimentary firing platform before I stand down. Udib came to me in bed today.
"McKiwi, I have good news, and I have bad news for you."
"Do either of them involve Nurse Cutey?"
"No. Worse than that. Your....shall we say... "dashingness".... seems to give you some level of immunity to the force that is trying to possess the citizens of this fortress. I have to say....I am rather impressed. I had considered your "dashing swordsdwarf" routine to be something of a fraud, but your actions seem to prove that you are trustworthy. So...I will tell you what is happening. Herein lies the bad news; The evil "Seer" Urist McDuck must be on the loose in the multiverse, somehow. I had hoped that his prison would hold..but it evidently has not. He has followed me here, presumably to exact some sort of revenge for his entrapment at Ardentdikes. He must be trying to take over a creature in this fortress to open a gateway to wherever he has gone since leaving Ardentdikes. The beacon down below, the "dark energy"....none of this is the truth. We are simply on top of where McDuck is trying to break through. And if he manages to possess the right being, he can free himself to take his revenge upon us all."
"Um....He doesn't seem to be doing a particularly good job so far. I mean, so far he's made a lot of our citizens go mad, and taken over an emu. Surely the man is no-"
"Urist McKiwi! Whether you or I live or die, he must not be allowed to escape into this world! You have some protection from his malice, but if you continue to lead this fortress, he will continue to try to assail your mind. He has already tried.......your less than rational actions against the human adventurers were partly tainted by his efforts, but you and the hammerdwarf were able to resist! I am sure that you and the other resistant dwarves will be able to stand against him should he return! I'm afraid there is no choice for you....in order to protect this world as a Dashing Swordsdwarf, you must not stand another turn as the leader of this fortress."
"........"
"Very well, Udib. I trust your judgement. I will not seek another term come the end of winter. But I will continue to lead until then"
"That is acceptable. I really am sorry, McKiwi. If I had not failed in my efforts to imprison that fiend for good....this would all never had happened."
Then he left.
So that's it then. Urist McKiwi III. Dashing Swordsdwarf. And now one of only two dwarves known to have not been driven out of their mind fatally by this "McDuck" fellow's possession attempts. I do wonder what would have happened if I'd killed that emu. Might have saved us a fair bit of bother later on. I can't say I completely believe Udib. But the guy's a nice chap. Far saner than my namesake, although he gets a bit cranky at times.
That evening, I felt good enough to check myself out of the hospital. Getting untrained dwarves to run the place was a brilliant idea. Why didn't we think of this before? Half the mortality rate with twice the speed of service! I may fire all the doctors at this rate. Except Nurse Cutey. Even though she's nominally under my command, I don't trust her not to try doing something unfortunate with her warhammer, in which case I'll have to add "Brutally slaughtered an enraged nurse" to my resume, which will not look good.
16th Opal
One of the off-duty marksdwarves asked to try out the firing platform as it was being built. Who was I to say "no"? He's done an excellent job, and I've ordered work to start on a second tower with the same basic layout. It will be a slow construction effort, but things are looking up for this fortress! With luck, we should soon be able to get the marksdwarves to work on whittling down the numbers of the undead horde. The firing angle for targets close to the gates is apparently rather tricky, but with enough marksdwarves up there that should hardly be an issue.
19th Opal
Things are coming together nicely. The marksdwarf has given the design his approval, and work on the secure entrances to both towers is going nicely. They might not be finished in time for the end of my leadership, but they will be close! And most importantly, we will be able to take on the undead without wasting the lives of our finest and bravest. And myself, obviously.
An owl tried to break away from its cage today. I'm not sure whether it's possessed, or just sick of being stuck in a small cage next to a pile of rotting zombies for the last ten years.
20th Opal
Rather embarrassingly, we've discovered we can't actually get in to the southern part of the outer compound. Apparently Cutey never considered such luxuries as "doors" to be essential to common citizens. Or worse, she wanted to trap her patients there. Anyway. I'm sending the marksdwarves in to sweep through and make it safe. Scouting from the towers indicates there's a few dingoes in there. Crikey....we'd better keep those away from the animals.
23rd Opal
Even more embarrassingly, it apparently takes three days for our hardened elite snipers to climb the stairs. Our mayor (who admittedly, is also one of our snipers) managed it in two], and is currently enjoying taking out the stresses of political life on the dingoes.
25th Opal
Just when I'd hoped the troubles were over for this year, another foul beast in the caverns. This one can apparently fly. So all our defenses are useless. Fortunately, it's in the lower cavern...which from memory, is sealed off. If it does get out, we can probably handle it. It aslo apparently has some kind of "flaming fire of death" thing going on, to quote the child who went to take a peek. Jolly good.
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TO continue about the 6th running gag I've got going, I may not be able to finish the year today. I'll try, and if I do, I'll edit this post. It's just one more month. That mayfly would have been an utter disaster had it hit any other cavern. As it is, we're sorted! And the middle cavern has drained, I just noticed.
I've set up McKiwi as our "champion against the oddly-named evil" not because she's my character (although I'll admit, that was part of it), but because she is an ungodly killing machine. Five hundred and sixty-six minor kills, ten notables. High master swordsdwarf, and she's the best-armored dwarf in the military. Although her feet and legs need a little better armor, potentially. She killed all the unicorns by herself (ok, except the last one, where she got some help from the other swordmaster before killing it. But it gored her leg after she'd cut all of its legs off).......and ran through the fires unscathed twice during the last siege.