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Author Topic: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)  (Read 825585 times)

Wolfkit

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Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3495 on: September 01, 2014, 05:03:12 pm »

From the journal of 'Wolfkit' Towergulfs, Miner of Skulls
--

Armok's armpit beard!

Oh no! Ono found his way into the cavern bunker! Thank the bedrock that Flame was around to distract the beast from eating our population.

...and that Ono's spittle is apparently frozen solid. That's odd.
I immeadiately mobilize the military in hopes of taking this beast down quickly.

Flame runs out of bolts and engages in melee combat, but I am not impressed with the results.

Prosnorklus and the Mad Fool approach! Meanwhile not much progress is made in the fight between Flame and Ono, though Flame is going to have a lovely set of ☼bruises☼ later, though.

And Prosnorklus gets the kill before the Mad Fool can reach the beast! Okay then, crisis averted. I hope. Though if I find a coating of that spittle on my +oatmeal+...


Suddenly, a brewer is possessed and starts running up from the cavern, and runs past me in the corridor as I haul an armor bin. Speaking of which, I'm the overseer! Why am I being given grunt work? I need to talk to the Mad Fool and tell him that while he may be my commander, I am, in fact his boss!

Note to self - do not bug the Mad Fool. He just smiled in this insanely threatening and threateningly insane way and asked me if I needed any surgery done, since he hadn't had a chance to operate on Ono and needed a patient.
...It's probably a good thing that he's in the military instead of practicing his skills on us, so I'm just going to cower and leave him alone.


Let's hope this is something good!

Dravek is still gathering materials, my adamantine pick is still not ready, but at least I am off duty! I celebrate by saying that I will not do any menial labors (one of the few priveleges of being overseer). I must practice mining rock, so that I will be ready to mine skulls later! The other dwarves in the military may laugh, but I'll show them. I'll show them all! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahaha.....
I have no clue where that came from. Anyway, I meant that I would show them by becoming a legendary champion, which isn't actually evil. Sorry again about that evil laugh.


A troll has been spotted in the cavern fort and we fear it may have killed Mr Strange. So much for me break.
Kazim is the first there, but he enters the wrong room!

I must hope that Kazim's dimrockness is the exception, not the norm.
Armokdammit!

Thankfully, the troll decides to leaves the room and engage Saber of its own accord.

The troll gains the upper hand against Saber somehow, but Peregarr comes to the rescue. Also, Mr Strange is indeed dead.

And I'm off break. That was fast.

Dravek has begun a mysterious construction!



DRAAAAVEEEEKKK! Also, it's worth 748,800☼ apparently. Not that we can sell it.
...well at least we could give it to the hammerer or something. Do we even have one of those?

How fitting. A wiffle bat for a non-existant hammerer.


"Finally! Yes, oh it's beautiful, me sweet baby pick, oh yes, thank you Fungin, thank you..."
"It's just a pick, Wolfkit!"
"No, it's me pick... me precious..."


Migrants!
"Hello migrants, welcome to Murdermachines! The home of murder, of machines, of murderous machines, and of me ≡adamantine pick≡!"
"WOULD YOU QUIT GOING ON ABOUT THAT PICK!!"
"...me precious..."
Anyways, the migrants. 1 gemcutter, 1 peasant, 1 woodcutter with skill with a spear, 1 furnace operator, 1 brewer with skill with a hammer, and an administrator with skill with a sword.
The three with weapon skills have been drafted into the military such that they might marvel at me ≡adamantine pick≡.


...how dare Uzol claim he is more attached to his shield than I am to me pick...

I keep getting reports of of ducks fighting. which is odd, because nodwarf is able to say that they have seen these ducks...


Uzol seems to have inspired rebellious feelings amongst me dwarves...


Ulborb has become legendary with his sword! Congratulations!



Goblins again? No matter, all shall fall before the wrath of me ≡adamantine pick≡. (And civilian alert). TO ARMS!
Logged
You wanna frisk this guy? This guy with the technicolor wonder limbs? The limbs that could probably slap you on several different levels of reality?
Your tabs are just pure chaos, Wolfkit.
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Wacksonoff

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Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3496 on: September 01, 2014, 06:23:22 pm »

I have submitted myself to the pleasure of the community.
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This is an exceptional golden figurine of a Peregrine Falcon. All Maltese craftsmanship is of the highest quality. It is studded with Baguette-cut diamonds. It is covered in black lacquer. The item is a masterfully designed image of a pointed cross. The pointed cross is the symbol of the Knights Hospitaller.

Wolfkit

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Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3497 on: September 02, 2014, 10:26:17 am »

From the journal of 'Wolfkit' Towergulfs, Miner of Skulls
--

A large number of dwarves just came up to me and asked to have their names changed. Not sure that right at the begining of a seige is the best time, but I'll accept it since they were obviously inspired by me ≡adamantine pick≡.
'Din' Måmgozmeng (Dragonlashed), a weaponsmith
'Urist McLoving' Silåblel (Planesbust), a peasant
'Urpissed' Libashzar (Axeoutrage), a mason
'Grombardim' Laltusolon (Coverflags), an axedwarf
'Scaliper' Lisedolon (Markgear), a speardwarf
'Raptor' Silcerol (Planeslens, a marksdwarf
'Saint' Unibåm (Ragyawns), a marksdwarf
'Plop' Konadfikod (Bandglazed), a swordsdwarf/butcher
'Shaggard' Sazirātast (Bridgedbraved), a dyer who wants to try cooking, which is good because we have no dye industry to speak of.
'Chaos Amon' Tosidzim (Armorcrested), an animal trainer/fish dissector
'Urist Mc Dead' Tobuldetes (Canyonram), a macedwarf
'Oryx' Anamsodel (Agesshield), a macedwarf
'Minkerrow' Domaskeskal (Guildshoots), a swordsdwarf
'Thorgrim Grudge-Bearer' Ostlikot (Foldedink), an axedwarf. Seemed quite angry for some reason.
'Maxwell Edison' Limārsåkzul (Wealthtrumpet), a hammerdwarf
'Dortimus' Olinzon (Tongshelm), a speardwarf
'McWaffle' Koganbisól (Boatspeace), a sworddwarf
« Last Edit: September 02, 2014, 12:23:25 pm by Wolfkit »
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You wanna frisk this guy? This guy with the technicolor wonder limbs? The limbs that could probably slap you on several different levels of reality?
Your tabs are just pure chaos, Wolfkit.
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StupidElves

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Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3498 on: September 02, 2014, 10:41:59 am »

YES! FINALLY! I HAVE BEEN DORFED!
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Accidentally made over 5000 copper maces once. I have no idea how that happened.

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TheFlame52

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Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3499 on: September 02, 2014, 03:47:14 pm »

A MERE CRIME AGAINST NATURE CAN'T STOP FLAME CHAOSBANE TERRYSLAYER!!!!!

SanDiego

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Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3500 on: September 02, 2014, 05:05:39 pm »

We have invisible ducks fighting, untold horrors spitting frozen poison and trolls randomly wandering in to murder out citizens. Bussiness as usual, then?
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Welcome to Murdermachines. Try the gecko sauce; it's delectable and delightful, a wonderful blend of savory and spicy that makes any dish delicious without being too overwhelming.

(Warning: Do not ask about the manufacturing process for gecko sauce)
(Warning: Gecko sauce may cause acute respiratory failure on contact)

Wolfkit

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Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3501 on: September 02, 2014, 06:55:04 pm »

We have invisible ducks fighting, untold horrors spitting frozen poison and trolls randomly wandering in to murder out citizens. Bussiness as usual, then?
Not to mention the military entering the any room other than the room with their target in it.
Logged
You wanna frisk this guy? This guy with the technicolor wonder limbs? The limbs that could probably slap you on several different levels of reality?
Your tabs are just pure chaos, Wolfkit.
Sig

GentlemanRaptor

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Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3502 on: September 03, 2014, 07:56:46 am »

I come back, and I'm dorfed! Yay! Keep on keepin' on. Also, obligatory what the everloving fuck happened.
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Amusingly, he's a Marksdwarf, which gives me the mental image of him conducting medical malpractice an appendectomy from fifty paces with a crossbow.
On bay12, a poll option of basically 'nuke the world' named 'Apocalypse Hitler' is like asking an alcoholic if they want some whiskey.

kefkakrazy

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Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3503 on: September 03, 2014, 03:06:30 pm »

What the fanged land torpedo is going on here? I come back from my vacation and...it's just more of the same? Really, step it up a notch people. Let's breach hell for demondamn sake.

Holy shit, I read the link and was shocked to realize that I was the one who originated the term fanged land torpedo. Wow.

I'm honored that someone cared enough to use it, pleased that I'm literally the only Google result to be found, and intend to start using this phrase more often, like a boss.

« Last Edit: September 04, 2014, 12:05:38 am by kefkakrazy »
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This is a Dwarven corpse. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encircled with bands of pathetic and menaces with spikes of fail.

TheSaberTooth

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Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3504 on: September 09, 2014, 08:55:38 pm »

I refuse to allow this thread to land on the 3rd page
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When all is lost, remember the bees.
What the fuck. Is some random undorfed recruit now our new Darkwing? Hell, even Darkwing just managed to kill two clowns before he went down. It's beyond me that a frigging recruit in the Official Voidspawn Feeding Detachment managed a triple kill on Forgotten Armokhumping Beasts.

TheFlame52

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Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3505 on: September 10, 2014, 05:23:52 pm »

I jut noticed this rereading the last update. Ulborb was a swordsmaster before. That message shows up every time said dwarf goes from civilian to military alert.

CaptainMcClellan

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Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3506 on: September 12, 2014, 11:27:05 am »

I might be able to actually play again. What say I have next go?

TheFlame52

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Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3507 on: September 12, 2014, 03:52:48 pm »

I might be able to actually play again. What say I have next go?
I'll take the one after that. I think it's about time to conquer hell and die trying.

TheSaberTooth

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Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3508 on: September 12, 2014, 03:58:12 pm »

I might be able to actually play again. What say I have next go?
I'll take the one after that. I think it's about time to conquer hell and die trying.
I gots me a new computer, so after you (if you don't die via demon tentacles), I shall take another swing at the fort.
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When all is lost, remember the bees.
What the fuck. Is some random undorfed recruit now our new Darkwing? Hell, even Darkwing just managed to kill two clowns before he went down. It's beyond me that a frigging recruit in the Official Voidspawn Feeding Detachment managed a triple kill on Forgotten Armokhumping Beasts.

StupidElves

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Re: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)
« Reply #3509 on: September 12, 2014, 04:09:24 pm »

Soon, this fortress will fall. And when it does, the Boatmurdered and Deathgate of 2014 can take place.
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Accidentally made over 5000 copper maces once. I have no idea how that happened.

GENERATION 29:
The first time you see this, copy it into your signature on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
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