Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[TheFlame52]

I ordered the taming and butchering of a bunch of elk birds we caught. Then I order some more pots made because it looks like we have run out. The elves left unassailed.

Um.

SHIT HE'S A CRAZY CAT ABOMINATION

Then Urist Mcloving ran into the atom smasher just as the gate was coming down. She and her daughter will not be missed. But on the bright side, time lurched forward by a whole 2 steps per minute after the bridge dropped. Then I put more coffins in the new mass graveyard. I estimate that there are over 400 coffin in that room, so I order coffin production to stop. Then a migrant named Zasit decided to go hunting. AND BOY DID SHE GO HUNTING. That goddamn dwarven machine gun killed an entire flock of giant sparrows and several giant insects and she's still going.

Then some migrants arrived. None of them were very interesting except for a clothier who I made captain of the guard. Then I found out that Chaosmaker (the hammerer) was sentenced to 5 hammerstrikes. Who will punish him? I had a bunch of zinc bins made and dwarves are busy filling them with stuff.

Zasit is still hunting. What she does is go right up next to her target and shoot it point blank. That way she almost never misses. Sometimes she even hits it with her crossbow. When her target is dead, she carries it to the nearest butcher shop, tops off her quiver, and goes back outside. She'll be legendary in no time.

[TheSaberTooth]

Terry: Abomination and cat magnet.

[Lolfail0009]

goddamn dwarven machine gun

That is quite possibly the best thing I've heard on this forum since 0.40 was released ^w^

[TheFlame52]

I built a quantum stockpile for metal bars in the magma forges. Upon completion I thought something had gone horribly wrong because water spilled out of the minecart, washing blood off the dwarves and all over the forges. I'm sitting here watching a growing pile of metal bars, surrounded by industrious dwarves. Satisfying. I also ordered the reconstruction of part of the iron road in the fort's entrance.

[TalonisWolf]

  Have I been Mercy Killed yet? It's been awhile since I was last here...

[TheFlame52]

Have I been Mercy Killed yet? It's been awhile since I was last here...

Nope, you're still alive and healthy. I've assigned you hunting duty, so you will die gloriously in the first goblin ambush.

[TalonisWolf]

  Hurrah! I pity my dorf for having to be Terry's Spouse for this long.

[Lolfail0009]

  Hurrah! I pity my dorf for having to be Terry's Spouse for this long.

Well, your dorf's hubby got her a cat~ Maybe it does have a heart after all~

[TheFlame52]

  Hurrah! I pity my dorf for having to be Terry's Spouse for this long.

Well, your dorf's hubby got her a cat~ Maybe it does have a heart after all~

Cue Terry posting saying he doesn't.

A vile force of darkness has arrived! Two squads of goblins led by a hammerlord and an elite crossbowman. There is also a squad of trolls. I order the Firstborn and the Void-Wraiths to the front entrance and the Bolt Magics above the gate. I wait for the military to arrive.

The first ones to reach the gate are the trolls. Ulborb and Uzol (a new recruit) meet the first one, which Ulborb kills quickly. The rest are torn apart by the military as well. The marksdwarves get a few shots off, but by the time the bolts reach their target, the troll is dead. After killing everyone, the military returns to their positions.

The next to arrive is the elite crossbowman, leading a squad of pikemen. The first shot fired hits Scaliper in the good shoulder. He drops his spear and shield from the pain, but still runs at the goblins. The next bolt is aimed at Microblighted but he blocks it. Then Ulborb enters a martial trance! He decapitates a goblin in one blow, then dodges another bolt from the leader. Ulborb is surrounded, but with the help of Dortimus and Prosnorkulus he breaks out. Scaliper finally gives in to pain, but he's far enough from the goblins to be safe. Then Ulborb leaves the martial trance.

One goblin is killed by Chaos Maker and another by Microblighted. Micro has made his way all the way over by the leader, who is trying to shoot him. Ulborb and Chaos Maker kill their goblins and head to Micro's aid. Micro disembowels a goblin, who starts running. Uzol gets stabbed in the hand, but Ulborb gets pissed and hamstrings the goblin with is teeth. The goblin gets surrounded by the rest of the military and it carved into chunks. The goblins begin to flee, but the dwarves are faster. The slowest goblin is killed by The Mad Fool, who then turns to go back to his post.

At the same time, four trolls who were hiding on top of the catapult tower attack! Dortimus and Prosnorkulus climb the tower while two trolls go down the other staircase. The two dwarves each take a troll on. Dortimus's good wrist is broken, causing her to drop her weapons and pass out, but she is saved by Prosnorkulus just in time. NCommander and Microblighted kill the other two trolls.

From my vantage point atop the walls, I see the last squad of goblins headed for the entrance. I order the dwarves to move forward to cover Dortimus and Scaliper. The dwarves charge the goblins, but the goblins only seem to be passing through. I order the military to kill all the goblins. The Mad Fool claims the first kill, Microblighted the second, Prosnorkulus the third, and Microblighted finishes off the last goblin with a single punch to the skull. The rest of the goblins escape. Weapons and armor are melted, corpses atomsmashed, troll clothes dumped, wounds treated. There are no casualties, but I fear Uzol may never use his hand again.

[TheFlame52]

Right after the siege was lifted, a human caravan arrived. It was ignored because we have no need of anything. Tryrar organized a party to celebrate our victory, but nobody went. A kobold was discovered in the entrance and briefly caused some disturbance, but it was soon killed by Pitchblende and The Mad Fool. The iron road out front was finally finished. Then a giant louse appeared on the horizon, so Zasit and Talonis charged out. In related news, we're having giant louse for dinner.

Those two have been out there for weeks, pounding bolts into some giant thrips. They just won't die, even if every bone in their bodies is broken. Talonis is now a legendary marksdwarf. Migrants came, but none are very interesting except for a miner/stonecrafter, an expert macedwarf, and a talented swordsdwarf.

Now the two are down in the caverns, killing elk birds. They also killed a trog that was in the way. Vendix's ghost rose and I put him to rest. I also expanded the food stockpile to many times its original size to make room for all the food. I checked up on all the dwarves injured in the siege. Uzol cannot grasp with his hand, but he can still fight. Dortimus made a full recovery. But Scaliper lost all ability to grasp permanently. What should I do? He can't fight and he can't work because he doesn't have any useful civilian skills.

[TheFlame52]

THERE IS NOTHING HAPPENING.


Somehow I managed to make Murdermachines orderly. Orderly. And I love every minute of it. Terry tried to crash DF again, but it didn't work. Suck on that, you powerless freak of nature!

I have two problems right now. One is that Scaliper is no longer fit for service. The other is that there is not a single weaver in the fort. So I took Scaliper out of the military and put him to work making cloth. I also told Thaddeus to make roasts, and he's turning out masterworks faster than you can blink.

The dwarven caravan arrived, but once again, we don't need anything! But on the way in, the caravan is ambushed by goblins, bowmen led by a spearman. The caravan guards charge the goblins, dashing between trees to rob the bowmen of their advantage. A speardwarf takes on the speargob while the swordsdwarf and hammerdwarf take on the bowgobs. Meanwhile, the military is distracted by a snatcher. Microblighted and Saber are the first dwarves to reach the bowgobs, and they begin turning the goblins into just gobs. A yak that was shot in the heart dies, leaving all its stuff. The goblins are all killed except for two bowgobs that escape.

Another snatcher is discovered but is killed by Kazim with a bolt to the heart. We also catch a flock of crow men who decide that it's a good idea to fly straight into our cage traps. It's too bad we can't train sentients, we have a shitload of trogs and animal men.

Also Thaddeus managed to make over 3000 roasts in just over a month. What.

[Wolfkit]

Can you give me the new miner and put him in the military wielding a pick?

[TheSaberTooth]

Somehow I managed to make Murdermachines orderly. Orderly.

The impossible has been achieved?

TheSaberTooth has succumed to the Paradox.

[TheFlame52]

One of the migrants said he wanted to be called Wolfkit and stuck in the military wielding a pick. I am no one to judge. However, I do decide his fate! A tundra titan approaches the fort as I say this, a pterosaur with deadly spit. I order all squads but the fortress guard to attack the thing.

The first one to arrive is Xaren the marksdwarf. He and the titan exchange shots, but neither gets seriously hurt. Then Kazim joins in, but he can't hit the thing. Then Krosan joins in, hacking at the titan with his steel axe. He hasn't gotten a kill since the voidspawn invasion and he's itching for blood. He's followed by Imush and Ast, two new recruits. The melee fighters are helping distract the beast, but the real damage is being done by the marksdwarves. Xaren shoots the beast in the side, tearing the titan's heart wide open. But then Imush leaps into the air and brings his axe down on the beast's neck. The adamantine cleaves through flesh and bone, completely severing the head. It seems he's gained some of the skill of the axe's previous wielders.

Also I added Scaliper back into the military because his shoulder got better.

[SanDiego]

Did you really clear the surface? Or did you go the way of the weaklings and used DFhack?