The Chronicles of MurdermachinesWritten by Krosan, Kobold Torturer1st, LimestonePunch a kobold, half a sock. Whoop his ass for six hours! A great deal! For another half sock, you can use a club!
--My Advertisement on the Dining Room WallAnimaRytak was none to happy about my little engraving and, as punishment, I've become chronicler of Murdermachines for the next three months. Now Puff has more time to haul that little leaf around for the next three hours.
Damn it he's such a lazy cod.
As an entrepreneur of a booming business, I find it reprehensible. Least I would, if he was one of my
slaves employees.
So myself, Saint, Thaddeus, and NRDL have been training non-stop for half a season now. Thanks to AtomicAvocado's incessant desire to pull a lever, the training room has been giving us a workout. We don't hold a candle to the ole' VG, but we'll damn fine dwarves in our own right.
3rd, LimestoneThe poor saps in charge of carrying shit have the joy of moving every rock block to the surface for future expansion, by order of VG himself. I've never been so happy to be an axedwarf in my life.
13th, LimestoneSaint's axedwarfship is growing at an exponential rate. Within a week, he's surpassed Thaddeus, who leads our squad, and myself.
I'm a little proud of my fellow dwarf.
18th, LimestoneThaddeus has a thing for his axe now.
Cool beans.
In other news...
MIGRANTS!
Delicious migrants. Five of the little buggers.
There's a presser/speardwarf; a butchery/tanner/gem setter; a dissector; a mason/detailer; and best of all, a miner.
The miner becomes the vessel of Dravek.
Dortimus takes the speardwarf.
Eoganatcha takes the brewer/butcher.
One of the novice marksdwarves becomes Minkerrow's host.
Ulborb, one of our original voiddwarves, takes over the mason.
Ho boy, the look on their face when I said, "Welcome back from the void bitches, start haulin!"
Priceless!
10th, SandstoneLitlbear has some fucking balls, I'll tell ya.
Just napping in the corner of a danger room. No fucks were given that day.
18th, SandstoneThe lack of lever pulling disturbs me.
However, my skills have made enormous strides this month. I'm at a professional level with an axe now and a master fighter. Thaddeus is my second in skill.
Saint has made little improvement.
I think he missed his dangly parts and is off pulling the lever.
27th, SandstoneOut of booze. Fort poised to lynch Eoganatcha.
9th, TimberBooze acquired. Eoganatcha's lynching postponed.
12th, TimberA caravan from this world's mountainhome arrived today. While we have a trade depot, we have no appraiser or broker.
Litlbear steps forward to be our broker. The sheer mass of his dwarven testicles shall win us this day.
Just an observation, these merchants are all drunk as fuck. Not a damn one of em can drive their wagons. Two of em ran into the fortress wall far passed the entrance.
16th, TimberThad likes his shield now. Damn it he's an odd bastard.
Really, just incredibly odd.
Yes, I just wrote that.
19th, TimberThe liaison actually talks to VG. I swear to armok the liaison looked ready to drop a load in his shorts the entire time.
When the liaison asked what was requested of the mountainhome, VG replied, "Cheese."
Simple man. Simple void god.