Chronicles of MurdermachinesWritten by Puff, the Stonewhisperer Helmetwhisperer1st, HematiteThe "Void God" has proclaimed me " a lazy, beardless dwarf" because I prefer the scenic route while carrying my seeds. There important seeds! Each one of them will go on to become a taste form of booze for my stomach.
But the Lord will hear none of my reasoning. So, to make up for my percieved laziness, I've taken over for Saint as fortress Chronicler. It's a piss poor job, let me tell ya. I tried to get Thaddeus to do it, but the lout is so depressed he just writes on the paper with tears.
Damn sissy elf-dwarf.
Well onto business, it's summer time now, which means pig tails, quarry bushes, and cave wheat are in. It also means I'm going to be busy as shit.
Why can't the void god haul some of this shit? Better still, why isn't ANYONE using that blasted wheelbarrow sitting in courtyard?
We're all a bit touched in the head, me thinks.
3rd, HematiteThe Lord was thirsty. So he took a break to drink and eat. Something tells me he's not an axelord anymore. Funny how that works.
5th, HematiteA damn mosquito woman started chasing me outside. The Void God quickly scared them off. Now they're flying about the beacon in some sorta trance. Stupid brainless insects.
7th, HematiteCrow folks in the courtyard. Great. Welcome to Murdermachines folks! We got furrys!
Fuck my life.
10th, MalachiteGod damn this fort is boring. A month of nothing. Thaddeus got harassed by some Giant Thrips. I laughed a little.
Armok bring us migrants.
A woman who aren't serving as hosts for our Dwarfbros.
18th, MalachiteSince we were all bored, and the Void God was looking, Thaddeus, Saint, Krosan, NRDL, and myself decided to have a poker game.
Fucking Thaddeus. That depressed bastard bluffed us all out of our socks.
That's right, socks. There's five thousand socks and not a shilling in the house. We officially made our own currency, DwarfSocks.
It's half a sock to punch a kobold for six hours. That's not a euphemism either, Krosan started up a business. Beat up a kobold for six hours for half a sock, It's a hell of a catharsis release.
Sure beats his idea for a furry brothel.
23th, MalachiteMigrants!
Six wonderful migrants!
Among them are an animal caretaker-cook, an engraver, a woodcutter, a weapon and armor smith, a metalcrafter, and another farmer who's an amazing trapper.
Our abyssal brethren quickly descend upon the new hosts.
AtomicAvocado takes the new farmer. He loudly screams his name the moment he takes the body.
Fungin takes the weapon and armor smith. His first words are "Damn it, I didn't want dangly bits."
Litlbear takes the animal caretaker-cook.
SanDiego takes the metalcrafter, who dabbles in marksmanship.
Scribbles takes the engraver.
Thorkild takes the woodcutter.
Murdermachines grows this day. This means more people for SockPoker.
25th, MalachiteWith the fresh arrivals ready to take over work, the four original dwarves, Thaddeus, Saint, NRDL, and Krosan, are confined to the danger room. This leaves me with dick all to do aside write whatever happens. At least Krosan's kobold torturing business is still running.
3rd, GalenaA louse man pissed off AnimaRytak.
Doesn't end well for him.
In other news, Thorkild has begun clearing the mushrooms that have filled up first two floors of the fortress, along with the trees in the courtyard.
4th, GalenaMore giant lice.
This one actually got a single hit onto AnimaRytak. Didn't do much, just pissed him off.
6th, GalenaLitlbear has a fucked up sense of what is and isn't "edible."
I aint eatin' that.
18th, GalenaSince we're out of seeds to plant, I've started gathering plants from the courtyard. Armok knows the place looks like an elf house. Really, it's just not proper for a dwarven fortress.
25th, GalenaWe found a large pile of weapons and armor in one of the unused storerooms, some of it was even steel. Guess this means more hauling.
For everyone else, that is.
I'm just hauling this leaf.
Yep.
This leaf.
28th, GalenaAtomicAvocado seems to be taking a break by "pulling the lever."
Perverted bastard.