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[SanDiego]

You should use that artifact shoe as a sidearm.

[Urist McDwarfFortress]

Does the artifact quality increase its effectiveness as a misc. object?

[Gentlefish]

Hell yeah shoes.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The goblin spearmaster stabs puff II in the foot, but it's deflected by artefact shoe!

[AnimaRytak]

Just a little tidbit, tomorrow marks two years of the Deathgate Chronicles!

Rejoice minions!

[Urist McDwarfFortress]

Rejoice minions!

yaaaaaaaaay.

[Lolfail0009]

Rejoice minions!

CEEEEEEEELEBRATE GOOD TIMES COME ON!

[Nyalathoteps_Cousin]

Rejoice minions!

CEEEEEEEELEBRATE GOOD TIMES COME ON!

I will.

[Yuli Vlasi]

Just a little tidbit, tomorrow marks two years of the Deathgate Chronicles!

Rejoice minions!

Woop Woop Woop. THE SOUND OF DEATH.
[Mayor Thikut Luritoslan's log, Summer 256]
18th of Galena
It's a miracle! A human caravan showed up next to our fort today. They must have seen the goblins, because they turned on their heels the next second and ran away. And the greenskins are leaving with them! But we won't open our gates yet, in case the voidspawn returns...
19th of Galena

Shit. Voidspawn.
..
Theyarehereagain
....
getinthesquare
...
square
....
21st of Galena
The smasher on layer 93 was completed today. Time to smash something. (Btw, I constructed the smasher the wrong way, it doesn't work.)

[Mayor Thikut Luritoslan's log, Autumn 256]
3rd of Limestone

It's a miracle that no one is going mad from the noise.
4th of Limestone
I had an idea today. What if the day comes that we can't hold of the enemy at our gates? What if we will be forced to return to the depths our ancestors were wrought from? We need to prepare. It's probably a waste of time digging out those rooms but who cares? I'm the mayor after all and the miners have nothing to do anyways. Rooms with enough space for a dining hall, farms and hospitals will be dug out on layer one. Together with a tomb and a bunker for myself of course.
6th of Limestone

They are massacring themselves! Hoooray! There's only one left!
11th of Limestone
I saw Blade today! Ghost are real!
16th of Limestone
We started hauling the enemies corpses from the surface to the smasher. When I say 'we' I mean the haulers. 'We''ll probably smash soem dogs under it too. Curse those dogs. (Like I said, the smasher doesn't work.)
27th of Limestone
CogDis got a strange mood today. He locked himself inside a jeweler's workshop.
4th of Sandstone
CogDis finished his construction today. It's a CAGE MADE OF ONE SINGLE JEWEL! Don't ask me how he did that.

10th of Timber
Noodle still hasn't finished the dangerroom! Tomorrow I'll go down there and finish it myself.
11th of Timber
I went down to the military quarters down today. The siege operators are training properly. I got myself some mechanismsand connected the rest of the upright spear trap to the lever. The next moment the squad showed up. Pushing me aside, they went into the dangerroom and immediately started training. They all had something weird about themselves... Although they clearly never had to use a weapon in their entire live and their physical shape was terrible they moved like they were experts. Except one. I only recognized Malach the second before he almost smashed my head with a huge warhammer. His purple eyes glared at me below an oversized steel helmet his mouth shaped to a grin. 'S'rry, I slipped' he said, then he proceeded hammering an engraving into the wall above my head. Fuck you Malach.
...
[Mayor Thikut Luritoslan's log, Winter 256]
7th of Moonstone
...training is going well, the ghost of Aoshi haunts the dangerroom...
...progress at the deep halls, farms will be put up soon in the caverns...
9th of Moonstone
Thorklid Jarnox has given birth to a girl while cutting down trees in the caverns.
10th of Moonstone

A forgotten beast! Seal of the underground! It's name is to long to pronounce properly, we just call it the Ambassador.
(I just noticed that there's one way into the caverns that I did not seal off. Shitshitshitshit.)

[Yuli Vlasi]

11th of Moonstone
It just... stopped. It's sitting right in front of the breach, not attempting to enter. We should put some walls up before it changes it's mind.
12th of Moonstone
IT'S IN HERE! SHIT SHIT SHIT! SEND THE SQUAD!

Baelor is the first one to arrive. Appereantly he decided to take a nap down there when the beast woke him up. He's getting his left leg ripped off, the beast gets lured away by other civilians. In an act of heroism and stupidity, Jables picks up Baelo and attempts to get him out of the room. Of course, Ambassador notices them. Baelor bleds to death as Jables drops him on the ground. Jables himself dies shortly after. The arriving squad gets completely mutilated. I lost my original notes, but I remember writing down every death and it's cause. I also remeber writing ' FUCKING EVERYONE DIES' under the list. The entire military died the second time under my reign, multiple pets, children and civilians got massacred too. After some time the beast clamed down and I attempted To seal it off multiple times, failing each time because some children or animals ran into the room the beast was chilling out in, luring it out. The one time I almost succeded Atomic Avocado lured the thing into the living quarters....

22nd of Opal
We can't....
blood everywhere

After throwing all of our civilians into squads, sending them against the monster, which lost it's wings by the way, I managed to seal the beast inside of our graveyard. At the cost of half of your population. And of course no migrants. Some dwarves start tantruming. We don't have enough coffins. Blood everywhere. There's a voidspawn outside of the fort, a beast of mass destruction inside of our fort. We lost almost every dorf. (I'm blaming dogs and children, expecially Anima's son.)



But wait, there's alternate reality Murdermachines!

12th of Moonstone
IT'S IN HERE! SHIT SHIT SHIT! Oh, nevermind, we sealed it off. We will proceed securing the caverns and contructing the farms.

[Yuli Vlasi]

How do you want me to proceed?

[Lolfail0009]

Take command. Lead your men. Hide in booze stockpile. Weep, and everyone weeps with you.

[Yuli Vlasi]

Take command. Lead your men. Hide in booze stockpile. Weep, and everyone weeps with you.

I will finish the year in both Murdermachines and I willl upload both. I'd prefer the next overseer to take over the bloody mess the fort is right now but just in case the fortress dies because of tantrum spirals or something like that we will have a 'save' backup. *cough for people who don't like losing *cough. I will try to finish the farms in both realities but cleaning up the fort and getting a new graveyard up is more important. I won't be able to dorf everyone and I don't think we have enough dwarves to fulfill our needs. I didn't get a single migrant wave in the entire year and we are down to about 30 dwarves. We'll get through it somehow.

Also, sigged if you don't mind.

[Yuli Vlasi]

I finished my year at the bloody reality Murdermachines. More than half of our population is made up of children, half of the adults are lying in the hospital. Pitchblende is mayor now, AnimaRytak is dead. I deactivated two farmplots because we have more than enough food and I don't want to use up laboring time. Children are tantruming and some guy just made a warhammer made out of dwarf bone. The voidspawn is gone now, so it's kind of save to open the gates and get some caravans inside.
Things are looking grim, but it can be fixed.

Soo, I had three artifacts, two obliterated militaries, three monsters of which one killed almost everyone and two sieges of which one killed itself. And the graveyard I dug out became the formerly mentioned monster's lair.

Save will be up soon.

[Urist McDwarfFortress]

Wait, the siege destroyed itself? Voidspawn kill each other?

[kefkakrazy]

Jesus Christ, Yuli, what did you do?

I officially turn over my crown as the King of Oops, Dwarfmurderer and Unintentional Shit Wrecker.

That was amazing though, best turn in a while. Killing off the entire military twice? That's amazing.

Don't misinterpret: I'm impressed as hell and don't care about the deaths. Good show, man.