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[Gentlefish]

You sail your yacht to the eastern coast of Africa, where you talk the pirates over there in steel-reinforcing your hull, and attatching two .50 cal machineguns amidships and a 22mm launcher on the bow. Some take notice of the money you have, and ask you if they can join you. They have about 6 PT boats, each half the size of your Yacht, each with a large-caliber machinegun mount.

Two assassins made it out alive, but one was caught. The one left was the bomb maker, and you have his contact information.

[Furtuka]

Hire multiple assassins and mercenaries to kill all the world leaders.

[SomeStupidGuy]

Hire multiple assassins and mercenaries to kill all the world leaders.

...and stage it to look like the work of ghosts. No one would suspect you then.

[NRDL]

Hire multiple assassins and mercenaries to kill all the world leaders.

Not all the world leaders.  Just the federal government of the united states. 

[LordBucket]

...wait, the problem is just that somebody connected us to the school blowing up?

*shrug*

Buy off the bank manager and have him claim it was a clerical error, then resign on national tv. Then contact the attorney general saying we were on a sea voyage at the time and this is the first we've heard of it. Agree to cooperate fully, and buy off anyone who contradicts our story.

Donate a plot of land, a building and operating costs for a year to whichever governmental organization is responsible for the situation. Don't sign the check until we're cleared of all charges.

[NRDL]

I've forgotten your deviousness LordBucket.  I am impressed. 

+1ing that.  If it fails, then its "destroy the united states" time. 

[GreatWyrmGold]

...wait, the problem is just that somebody connected us to the school blowing up?

*shrug*

Buy off the bank manager and have him claim it was a clerical error, then resign on national tv. Then contact the attorney general saying we were on a sea voyage at the time and this is the first we've heard of it. Agree to cooperate fully, and buy off anyone who contradicts our story.

Donate a plot of land, a building and operating costs for a year to whichever governmental organization is responsible for the situation. Don't sign the check until we're cleared of all charges.

+1

And don't get into a war with the US. We have a billion dollars and a crappy warship. They have trillions of dollars, a powerful navy (with these ships that aircraft land on, and ones that go under the water), and an entire country of taxpayers behind them.

[Gentlefish]

All right. So you manage to pay off the bank manager, and are even able to pin it on your rival. Your assets free back up, gaining you half of what's left in you bank.

He resigns from his position on national TV, apologizing for his mistake. You pay off the bomber to keep quiet, and to work for you. You shut down a factory and donate the building to the US government, and promise to pay for its power for another year. Your business rival, on the other hand, is properly framed and sent to federal prison for not only your crime, but for framing you.

[LordBucket]

You resign from your position as a pharmeceutical CEO on national TV,

What? No...have the bank manager resign. Not us. The bank error happened on his watch. We had nothing to do with that.

[NRDL]

It doesn't matter, really.  Keeps our guy out of the limelight. 

Hire an ex-Green Beret to train our guy to become a killing machine. 

[Furtuka]

The PR damage to us has already been dealt anyways.

Obtain a nice heavily guarded mansion in a remote location in the Eastern Hemisphere

[GreatWyrmGold]

No, keep the yacht. Sail it to the Eastern Hemisphere and hire guards for it.

[Gentlefish]

You resign from your position as a pharmeceutical CEO on national TV,

What? No...have the bank manager resign. Not us. The bank error happened on his watch. We had nothing to do with that.

Fixed.

[rabidgam3r]

Find a discreet volcano island, carve the volcano into your likeness and make it your base.

[stabbymcstabstab]

Go Russia and buy a Fairly large amount of weapons Subs, Tanks, Migs, Etc. Supply our pirate friends, then acquire more money to send to Swiss bank accounts.