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[rhiot]

So I began playing DF several days ago and finally had a decent fortress. Everything seemed perfect, but I forgot about preparing defences. I set up traps around the entrance to my base, but my military was terrible. It consisted of random dwarves with weak fighting skills and no equipment. (Good enough to dispatch the occassional kobold thief)
Suddenly, a goblin siege! My cages worked wonderfully; catching every goblin but one. Well..that single goblin tore through 30 dwarves before I lured it into a new cage trap. I also forgot that I had made dwarves ignore bodies(stupid me!)... The miasma collected and EVERY dwarf was unhappy. I worked to create coffins and increase the size of my graveyard, but dwarves continuously raged and destroyed every carpenter's workshop I set up. Finally! Almost every body had been laid to rest, but that wasn't the end.. several dwarves went beserk and tripled the body count. When those bodies were almost all buried and several dwarves were content..a legendary beast appears! As the venomous spider got closer, some dwarves rage and destroy every farm plot I had. I retreated underground and built walls to avoid the beast. My fortress ended as my dwarves starved to death. Why Toady, why?!? 

[Di]

We use the world Fun around here for this.
And armed goblin can kill a lot of civies since those hardly fight back, but I believe five unarmed dwarves confronting him simultaneously would be enough to take him down.

[DanteThanatos]

You just experienced a Tantrum Spiral...wasnt it fun?! =D

[Loud Whispers]

uddenly, a goblin siege! My cages worked wonderfully; catching every goblin but one. Well..that single goblin tore through 30 dwarves before I lured it into a new cage trap.

Warlord goblin? Did your Dwarves swamp it or fight it one at a time?

I also forgot that I had made dwarves ignore bodies(stupid me!)... The miasma collected and EVERY dwarf was unhappy. I worked to create coffins and increase the size of my graveyard, but dwarves continuously raged and destroyed every carpenter's workshop I set up.

This is when you need to fight the growing insanity amongst your populace and begin cautionary measures. Forcing your Dwarves to do nothing but talk all day for example, or executing the nearly crazy ones.

Finally! Almost every body had been laid to rest, but that wasn't the end.. several dwarves went beserk and tripled the body count. When those bodies were almost all buried and several dwarves were content..a legendary beast appears! As the venomous spider got closer, some dwarves rage and destroy every farm plot I had. I retreated underground and built walls to avoid the beast. My fortress ended as my dwarves starved to death. Why Toady, why?!? 

Prepare for all eventualities. 4 years worth of food and booze underneath every bedroom in case Dwarves get isolated. But have some Dwarves watching those bedrooms in case vampires or snatchers are about. And keep a lever to operate a flood in case a fire breaks out in the food stockpiles. But make sure there is drainage so this doesn't flood. And keep the water source secure so invaders don't get in. Make sure there is always something to deal with invaders, and something ready to operate that. Make sure to have contingency plans...
SUPPORTS!
Yes, supports! Holding all the walls up in the Fort! Explosions! Cave ins! Pull the lever everywhere!

[rhiot]

Oh yeah. Just experienced fun. 

Warlord goblin? Did your Dwarves swamp it or fight it one at a time?

This is when you need to fight the growing insanity amongst your populace and begin cautionary measures. Forcing your Dwarves to do nothing but talk all day for example, or executing the nearly crazy ones.

Prepare for all eventualities. 4 years worth of food and booze underneath every bedroom in case Dwarves get isolated. But have some Dwarves watching those bedrooms in case vampires or snatchers are about. And keep a lever to operate a flood in case a fire breaks out in the food stockpiles. But make sure there is drainage so this doesn't flood. And keep the water source secure so invaders don't get in. Make sure there is always something to deal with invaders, and something ready to operate that. Make sure to have contingency plans...
SUPPORTS!
Yes, supports! Holding all the walls up in the Fort! Explosions! Cave ins! Pull the lever everywhere!

It was actually a mace goblin of sorts. I just panicked and never thought to organize a party or another squad of random dwarves to fight it.. 
Kinda curious, how would you 'execute' the crazies within a fortress? And what's the deal with vampires? Why does food/booze in bedrooms relate to them? Sorry if I sound stupid, just a big noob here. 

[Loud Whispers]

It was actually a mace goblin of sorts. I just panicked and never thought to organize a party or another squad of random dwarves to fight it.. 

You could have probably mobbed it with your 30 Dwarves and not lost a single life. A dozen or so permanently crippled, but eh. Victory is victory!

Kinda curious, how would you 'execute' the crazies within a fortress?

Incineration
Maceration
Crushing
Freezing
Drowning
Suffocation
Bleeding
Head shot
Decapitation
Spiky things
Spinny things
Goblin things
Animal things
Thing things
THE thing
Other Dwarves
Self inflicted insanity
Starvation
Dehydration
Exposure
Burial
Dwarven healthcare
Dwarven childcare
Becoming the mayor
Obsidianisation
Gravity
Gravity exploding
Unfortunately timed accidental fatal occurrences
Deadly dust
Deadly shower
Waterfall suicide
Waterfall regicide
Behavioural sink
Literal sink
FPS sink
Bone breaker
Infection
Poke poke
Smashyhammers
Old age
Cloud of mysterious solid liquid plasma

And however many more ways you can think of. Eye melting is a good one.

And what's the deal with vampires?

They will cut your normal Dwarves up. It's even worse because they used to be Dwarves themselves. If you are a heretic heathen you can harvest their blood to create a well of unlife and turn your entire Fortress into Vampire Fortress.

Why does food/booze in bedrooms relate to them?

Food and booze stockpiles gather lots of Dwarves. Stockpiles gather lots of vermin. Vermin gather lots of cats. Cats gather lots of Dwarves. Dwarves gather lots of Fun. This Fun can sometimes take the form of vampires.
It stands to reason that putting stockpiles in bedrooms and turning your Fort into Stockpile Fortress is the only logical solution to keep your Dwarves truly safe when everyone's dying.

[Where_are_the_gnomes?]

So I began playing DF several days ago and finally had a decent fortress. Everything seemed perfect, but I forgot about preparing defences. I set up traps around the entrance to my base, but my military was terrible. It consisted of random dwarves with weak fighting skills and no equipment. (Good enough to dispatch the occassional kobold thief)
Suddenly, a goblin siege! My cages worked wonderfully; catching every goblin but one. Well..that single goblin tore through 30 dwarves before I lured it into a new cage trap. I also forgot that I had made dwarves ignore bodies(stupid me!)... The miasma collected and EVERY dwarf was unhappy. I worked to create coffins and increase the size of my graveyard, but dwarves continuously raged and destroyed every carpenter's workshop I set up. Finally! Almost every body had been laid to rest, but that wasn't the end.. several dwarves went beserk and tripled the body count. When those bodies were almost all buried and several dwarves were content..a legendary beast appears! As the venomous spider got closer, some dwarves rage and destroy every farm plot I had. I retreated underground and built walls to avoid the beast. My fortress ended as my dwarves starved to death. Why Toady, why?!? 

I remember a very similar experience, except my last dwarf was a fisherdwarf who, after waking up from a coma, became melancholy.

So naturally he had a little walk, went and sat beside the river, thinking about life.

Then he jumped in.

[Necromunger]

An ass twisted into human form has come. Fear its deadly spittle.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaAWdljhD5o

[WillowLuman]

It was actually a mace goblin of sorts. I just panicked and never thought to organize a party or another squad of random dwarves to fight it.. 

You could have probably mobbed it with your 30 Dwarves and not lost a single life. A dozen or so permanently crippled, but eh. Victory is victory!

Kinda curious, how would you 'execute' the crazies within a fortress?

Incineration
Maceration
Crushing
Freezing
Drowning
Suffocation
Bleeding
Head shot
Decapitation
Spiky things
Spinny things
Goblin things
Animal things
Thing things
THE thing
Other Dwarves
Self inflicted insanity
Starvation
Dehydration
Exposure
Burial
Dwarven healthcare
Dwarven childcare
Becoming the mayor
Obsidianisation
Gravity
Gravity exploding
Unfortunately timed accidental fatal occurrences
Deadly dust
Deadly shower
Waterfall suicide
Waterfall regicide
Behavioural sink
Literal sink
FPS sink
Bone breaker
Infection
Poke poke
Smashyhammers
Old age
Cloud of mysterious solid liquid plasma

You forgot Hidden Fun Things.

[TheKaspa]

Yeah, but remember that losing is !!FUN!!

[Mictlantecuhtli]

You'll see how hard the game really is when you mod it to be harder.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

There's conversions where Goblins are the weak enemies.

[Replica]

Yeh, and that's just vanilla DF.
Come visit us in the modding board when you get bored of winning by trap spammage.
We will give you so many invading trap avoiding minotaur flying titan civs that vanilla DF is going to look like Hello Kitty Island Adventure.

Prepare for all eventualities. 4 years worth of food and booze underneath every bedroom in case Dwarves get isolated. But have some Dwarves watching those bedrooms in case vampires or snatchers are about. And keep a lever to operate a flood in case a fire breaks out in the food stockpiles. But make sure there is drainage so this doesn't flood. And keep the water source secure so invaders don't get in. Make sure there is always something to deal with invaders, and something ready to operate that. Make sure to have contingency plans...
SUPPORTS!
Yes, supports! Holding all the walls up in the Fort! Explosions! Cave ins! Pull the lever everywhere!

No fortress is complete without a self destruct lever left completely in the open, preferably outdoors in front of the main entrance.