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[ExKirby]

Well, gentlemen, the time has come upon us for another round of that most noble pursuit-Tacticus. However, this round, we shall not attempt to render this excellence in artwork-instead, we shall realise our dreams in words-and this nice table before us. Nevertheless, I brought some Dragonsblood wine. Always good for occasions such as this. Now where did I put that book... ah yes.

In accordance with the Advanced Sect Openings, our table shall start as a long beach front. The water is crystal blue, the sands gold in the sunlight, palm trees line the neat grass. There are a selection of rock pools at one end and an abrupt cliff at the other. The beach is populated by... hang on, where did I put that d16? Ah. Let's see... Darn it. The local populous are sentient sheep. This should be rather entertaining...

[Jbg97]

What's tacticus?

[rabidgam3r]

I create A giant crab with lasers imbedded in its claws, and name it Thunderclaw.


You ever read Calvin and Hobbes? Its calvinball.

[ExKirby]

Calvinball? Surely you jest, good sire! Tacticus has rules! Many, in fact! Actually, we have so many rulebooks it has reached the stage where it is difficult to tell if a rulebook has or has not been invented...

Naturally, giant crabs will eat anything comparable to food... and I think that the scaling rules of Verbeose Usage for Beginners allow the sheep to be comparable to the crab's usual diet. Let the feasting begin!

[Bdthemag]

Ah, but you forget! Giant crabs when conjured cannot be equipped with lasers until the conjuror has acquired the Laser Crab License. It's unlikely that Rabidgam3r even has access to that license yet!

[rabidgam3r]

The crab fries some mutton, and devours it. According to Chapter Eleventeen, Footnote Backwards R, crabs that eat meat double in size and strength, along with any lasers implanted. I also, as a god, have every license.

[ExKirby]

...Rabid, I fear I may have give you too much Dragonsblood wine. You are not a God! Sadly, the crab does not have lasers. A shame, but still. However, meat consuming crabs DO take a size bonus, even if said meat is raw. We now have a Massive Crab on the shores and a scared sheep population. Who can save them but... hmm... a shepard! Obviously, in Darwinian Revolution, Ninth Edition, any change in the master species has a knock-on effect to the reccessive species, so humanity is to sheep as sheep is to humanity. And I put a human on the beach.

[rabidgam3r]

Chapter Twelve, Sidenote Two, any one player, if drunk, can become a god and create an avatar.

A giant, foaming at the mouth and holding controller by the cord like a flail, appears!

[ExKirby]

...That is most certainly an... interesting... rulebook you have there. It is a shame then that massive objects dwarf giant ones... and it is, shall we say, snack time.

[Furtuka]

As my entree action I create a swarming wave of all consuming ASCII characters rising out of the water

[Kashyyk]

In the Monster Hunters Omnibus (2nd edition), the sheep, being sentient, and seeing a great beast before them, are allowed to create a hero. Naturally, them all being sheep means the hero is also a sheep. It comes into play with an above average suit of armour, a sword, and a shield. It is also under oath to defeat the monster (namely the giant crab). It must, at every opportunity, try to complete it's oath.

[rabidgam3r]

The massive crab swats the sheep away, sending it smashing into a tree and breaking it's back.

[Furtuka]

The ASCII swarm continues to consume and grow within the ocean, it's nearing the shore now.


Using this code I obtained from the Tacticus promotional book of Adventurers and Quests that was handed out at lasteryearmonth's convention, I place a team of assassins who slaughter the parents of a teenage lamb, thereby powering him up into a starting adventurer.

[germaina]

Per the manual of Sheep versus Evil Giant errata 3 chapter 2 paragraph 7 should sheep hero be swatted away sheep will form an army, with the leader transforming into a lion.  Said army then swarms the army rendering weaponry moot and sending said enemy into oblivion.

[misko27]

Hmm, using the codebook for civilizations of sentients, edition 2.5, I summon a philosopher out of the sheep. He, theorizing sentient sheep are, in fact, simply sheeple, they evolve bi-pedalism.