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[Harry Baldman]

"May I at least tell you how God saved me and expelled the demon from my body first?"

"Naturally. But rest assured that it is likely to promptly be ignored in favor of making very, very sure that there are indeed no demons in your body, considering that you have proven yourself to be a liar already. Kezilam would appreciate such certainty, I am sure."

[GreatWyrmGold]

"Well, that's good. Um...might I ask what happened to the rest of the village?"

[Harry Baldman]

"Well, that's good. Um...might I ask what happened to the rest of the village?"

"They died."

[Xantalos]

"May I at least tell you how God saved me and expelled the demon from my body first?"

"Naturally. But rest assured that it is likely to promptly be ignored in favor of making very, very sure that there are indeed no demons in your body, considering that you have proven yourself to be a liar already. Kezilam would appreciate such certainty, I am sure."

"What? When have I shown myself to be a liar? I have not lied in the time I have been in this temple! That I can be sure of!"

[Harry Baldman]

"What? When have I shown myself to be a liar? I have not lied in the time I have been in this temple! That I can be sure of!"

"What of the Xungus Worm, dear friend? This worm one can catch simply from bodily contact, despite such a thing making no sense whatsoever?"

[Xantalos]

"No, that is simply a case of your guardsmen not being specific. I never said what part they were to touch in order to contract the Xungus infection, nor what part to touch the unidentified part with in order to become infected. Any other examples? Because I have never outright lied as long as I was in here, and I have an explanation for my crazy behavior."

[Harry Baldman]

"No, that is simply a case of your guardsmen not being specific. I never said what part they were to touch in order to contract the Xungus infection, nor what part to touch the unidentified part with in order to become infected. Any other examples? Because I have never outright lied as long as I was in here, and I have an explanation for my crazy behavior."

The priest sighs.

"Give us your explanation, then."

[Xantalos]

"It is as you said - a demon most foul, or at least mischevious, had made it's home inside my body. How else can you explain me bursting in here, seemingly knowing about the inner sins of each one of the priests here, and then escaping when you called the demon out, causing chaos in my wake? After my escape, the demon had me wander the halls, searching for a way out, undoubtedly so it could escape and spread it's corruption further. However, it found the prisoners that were in that cell somewhere back there. By interacting with all but that one - Gronok points to his follower guy - "it corrupted them, and set them free to wreak havoc in this sacred temple, as it's nature compelled it to. However, as it contemplated what it had done, I found myself to be full of such fervent hatred for the foul beast that I called upon God to cleanse the beast from within me. I am forever greatful the God decided to aid me. Holy fire burned through my mind, and when I awoke, the demon was gone and I knew that I must stop the corrupted followers that it unleashed. With this brave soul in tow, I followed their trail and soon found them to have gone on a path down which the floor was completely soaked in oil. A torch was conveniently nearby. It was obvious what God wanted me to do. The corrupted burned along with the filth inside of their souls, and I found these fine young guards and offered to help them find the rest. I brought them here, as I reasoned that since the demon that possessed me had been drawn here, any others would be as well."

[GreatWyrmGold]

"Um...I see. What did they die of and is it contagious?"

((Xungus worm?))

[Harry Baldman]

"Um...I see. What did they die of and is it contagious?"

((Xungus worm?))

"Old age. Very contagious."

"It is as you said - a demon most foul, or at least mischievous, had made it's home inside my body. How else can you explain me bursting in here, seemingly knowing about the inner sins of each one of the priests here, and then escaping when you called the demon out, causing chaos in my wake? After my escape, the demon had me wander the halls, searching for a way out, undoubtedly so it could escape and spread it's corruption further. However, it found the prisoners that were in that cell somewhere back there. By interacting with all but that one - Gronok points to his follower guy - "it corrupted them, and set them free to wreak havoc in this sacred temple, as it's nature compelled it to. However, as it contemplated what it had done, I found myself to be full of such fervent hatred for the foul beast that I called upon God to cleanse the beast from within me. I am forever grateful the God decided to aid me. Holy fire burned through my mind, and when I awoke, the demon was gone and I knew that I must stop the corrupted followers that it unleashed. With this brave soul in tow, I followed their trail and soon found them to have gone on a path down which the floor was completely soaked in oil. A torch was conveniently nearby. It was obvious what God wanted me to do. The corrupted burned along with the filth inside of their souls, and I found these fine young guards and offered to help them find the rest. I brought them here, as I reasoned that since the demon that possessed me had been drawn here, any others would be as well."

The priest rubs his chin.

"Well, that certainly sounds like a typical case of being freed of demons. Complete with fire, no less."

Tapping his foot for a few moments and looking thoughtfully at you, he comes to a decision.

"Tell you what. Since you managed to reduce that annoying fellow to a gibbering wreck earlier, I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. You're free to go for now. You guards really should be getting back to guarding the passage out of there in case of escapees, anyway. He didn't get all of them, did he?"

"Only one or two, judging by the screaming. The rest are likely to still be in there."

Just at that moment, a whole lot of prisoners burst through the door the guards were standing at, led by the strongman!

[GreatWyrmGold]

((Snarky, isn't she?))

"Ah. I see. Um...two, no, three questions. One: Why--did they all die about at once, or was it over several years? Two, how have you been living all alone? I mean, how well? Finally, is there...anything you need? Or want?"

[Harry Baldman]

((Snarky, isn't she?))

"Ah. I see. Um...two, no, three questions. One: Why--did they all die about at once, or was it over several years? Two, how have you been living all alone? I mean, how well? Finally, is there...anything you need? Or want?"

"One, many years. Too many to count. And yet I do."

She nods sadly, then continues.

"Two, you are presumptuous."

She seems to consider the third question for a bit.

"Three, bring some water. The bucket is next to the door."

She points at a bucket, a sad-looking wooden affair if you have ever seen one. It is indeed right next to the door.

[GreatWyrmGold]

"...All right."

Grab the bucket and locate the village's well. Fill the bucket and return.

[Xantalos]

"Well, I'll let you fellows sort this out. Come, ...er, what's your name? We'd better back away from the fighting."

Back away from the fighting, watching with my convert guy.
Hope that the strongman dies.

((Also, I just reread everything ... why isn't real religion backstory this funny?))

[GreatWyrmGold]

((Also, I just reread everything ... why isn't real religion backstory this funny?))

((Because it was carried out and edited by people with more dignity and hopes of being taken seriously than anonymous people on the internet? Or maybe because they were trying to promote a religion, not have fun?))