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Author Topic: 1002 bad GM Tips  (Read 16613 times)

GreatWyrmGold

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Re: 1002 bad GM Tips
« Reply #75 on: December 30, 2012, 12:23:46 pm »

Or maybe people started doing it because their stories' villains' skin needed a color and black or white sounded better than "sorta pinkish," and no one questioned tradition.
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Jbg97

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Re: 1002 bad GM Tips
« Reply #76 on: December 30, 2012, 12:27:07 pm »

Or maybe people started doing it because their stories' villains' skin needed a color and black or white sounded better than "sorta pinkish," and no one questioned tradition.
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OREOSOME

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Re: 1002 bad GM Tips
« Reply #77 on: December 30, 2012, 12:37:52 pm »

79: Be as unfair towards people who deviate from your written lore, as possible. That Dark elf who isn't evil(Just true Neutral)? Have bad things happen to him and whatever holdings he may have. Provided you haven't already made it so he can't buy anything or say anything, through having the law of the land be incredibly racist.

...

This happened to me once. I, a Neutral Drow Mercenary, saved the kings life, by retrieving a plant. Got a parcel of land, and declared a knight of the realm. Very next Session? My cottage gets burned down, with no explanation. And then, to vent our rage, we murdered the entire Imperial Marching Band. Oh, and our mage, 'Pinball Wizard', rolled a twenty on his Magic Missile, causing him to kill off hundreds of various armies as it crossed the world. He made it to level 10 after our first quest. And then, he roleplayed as if he also had been brought into a different plane as... The person who made the character.
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rabidgam3r

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Re: 1002 bad GM Tips
« Reply #78 on: December 30, 2012, 12:47:19 pm »

80. Dude, doing it in an amalgam setting of cliches is awesome! and you know what? make the elves based after chinese culture! Original!
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: 1002 bad GM Tips
« Reply #79 on: December 30, 2012, 12:56:50 pm »

81. Make things so original that no one has any idea what you're talking about. If your players can't remember if elves or orcs are the giant ants with tentacles, you're getting a good start.
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OREOSOME

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Re: 1002 bad GM Tips
« Reply #80 on: December 30, 2012, 01:05:37 pm »

82: Force your players to learn ALL the languages there are in Real life. If they can't translate the Elvish/Latin Poem that is 9000000 Paragraphs long, then they must leave.
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Ow! How the fuck do eldritch abominations bitchslap people?
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Gamerboy4life

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Re: 1002 bad GM Tips
« Reply #81 on: December 30, 2012, 05:04:45 pm »

This guy.

Somewhat late, but this made me laugh hard enough to almost die of asphyxiation.


83: Huge blocks of text with little to no punctuation. That will really make people want to play.
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Xantalos

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Re: 1002 bad GM Tips
« Reply #82 on: December 30, 2012, 05:30:40 pm »

This guy.

Somewhat late, but this made me laugh hard enough to almost die of asphyxiation.
*shakes fist* And my dastardly plot was so close to succeeding too!
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Gamerboy4life

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Re: 1002 bad GM Tips
« Reply #83 on: December 30, 2012, 06:32:58 pm »

This guy.

Somewhat late, but this made me laugh hard enough to almost die of asphyxiation.
*shakes fist* And my dastardly plot was so close to succeeding too!

Don't worry, I now have lung cancer because of that laughing fit.

now I have to sell meth to survive
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vadia

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Re: 1002 bad GM Tips
« Reply #84 on: December 30, 2012, 08:43:58 pm »

now I have to sell math to survive
fix'd?
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TheZoomZoll

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Re: 1002 bad GM Tips
« Reply #85 on: December 31, 2012, 10:42:49 am »

84:Interrupt player's combat actions because you think they shouldn't get a chance to attack the opponent that is killing them.
85:Stun player's in combat for a long time because you think that's how it works.
86.Make somebody's wealth drop to 0 for 1 single roll.
87.Make a long character sheet that only uses half the things the player's write and then don't care what they tell you afterwards.
((FYI, I'm not 100% metal. Just some bits of me are.))

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Harry Baldman

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Re: 1002 bad GM Tips
« Reply #86 on: December 31, 2012, 04:41:56 pm »

88. No matter how much money your players have amassed, the next thing they are about to buy should cost exactly the amount they have. And it's kept in hyperspace, so you can't just steal it instead. And the shopkeeper (every shopkeeper, really) is a former god-killing adventurer, so you can't hold him or her at sword/magic/gunpoint into handing it over.

88a. Alternatively, everything the players are about to buy should cost slightly more money than they have. Always. Best used together with hyperspace store inventories and godlike shopkeepers.
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OREOSOME

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Re: 1002 bad GM Tips
« Reply #87 on: December 31, 2012, 04:50:35 pm »

88. No matter how much money your players have amassed, the next thing they are about to buy should cost exactly the amount they have. And it's kept in hyperspace, so you can't just steal it instead. And the shopkeeper (every shopkeeper, really) is a former god-killing adventurer, so you can't hold him or her at sword/magic/gunpoint into handing it over.

88a. Alternatively, everything the players are about to buy should cost slightly more money than they have. Always. Best used together with hyperspace store inventories and godlike shopkeepers.
Ah yes, Godlike Shopkeepers.
That once happened in an 8 player campaign, DM'd by my dad. One of our clerics attacked a Hermit, in order to threaten the man into giving us a map of the troll caves we were looking for. Without a saving throw, the hermit stabbed said cleric, killing him in one hit. We revived him, and we went to the troll caves, in search of the hermit's family shield. We found it, and the King's scepter, and when we returned to the capital.. We found out that the king was kidnapped by a Dragon Controlling Wizard, and the Hermit from before was leading the kingdom in his absence.
Also, I think the royal alchemist made a deal with unholy powers, as when we showed him a axe which could absorb people's souls, he said "No! You can't use that on ME! I Don't have a sou-Nevermind."
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: 1002 bad GM Tips
« Reply #88 on: December 31, 2012, 04:53:44 pm »

Used reasonably, powerful shopkeeps make sense. Former adventurers probably have lots of capital, especially in the form of wares; and magic items can do a lot. Of course, the way described isn't reasonable.

89. When people submit character sheets, request poorly-described changes before s/he can be approved, then fail to actually give approval when the changes are made.
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Eagle_eye

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Re: 1002 bad GM Tips
« Reply #89 on: December 31, 2012, 05:18:03 pm »

90: Your interpretation of morality and alignment is the only right one. No, the only possible one.
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