In this installment of Not the Actual Let's Play Yet, I'll be covering an entire Nuzlocke run done with these same rules. (Except that because of the berry glitch, no new berries could be grown. To compensate, 3 Pokemon Centers were used throughout the game.) In addition, this was a speed run. It was done in one sitting, more or less, and large swathes of the game were completely ignored. There were only 3 unintended wild Pokemon battles, the rest being prevented as soon as I could afford Repels. On with the show, then.
This cool cat is Dash. He's a speedy motherfucker who runs everywhere, has the power of foresight, speaks in acronyms and abbreviations, and is entirely mute. He's also 10. This makes him a perfect candidate for becoming a new trainer. I won't bore you with the details, but suffice to say that he and his family just moved to Littleroot town from another region, and it was a good choice. Less than three minutes after unpacking everything, Dash went to talk to the neighbor girl unprompted, found out her father was the local professor, and rushed north to save him. He grabbed the middle ball out of a pile in the Professor's bag, releasing a fiery chicken that subsequently beat the living shit out of the errant Zigzagoon harassing the professor. He did so fantastically well that he got to keep it.
That's Blaze. Remember that, because you'll be seeing a lot of him.
Dash took the Professor's advice and rushed northwards to meet May, the neighbor girl, for a quick battle. No Pokemon stopped him on the way, fortunately. Blaze went for May's Mudkip's eyes and won the battle in a matter of seconds. Fuckin' brootul. The two trainers decided to head back to the lab. Well, May decided that, and Dash went along with it because he foresaw free stuff in his future. As usual, his guess was correct and he obtained a clutch of Pokeballs. He didn't figure he'd need so many (five!), but it was a nice gift. After all, how many Pokemon would he need asides from Blaze?
Well, Blaze didn't have arms, for one thing. So he couldn't smash rocks. He was also filled with fire, which meant he couldn't swim. Luckily the route between Littleroot and Oldale contained a whole swarm of Zigzagoon. So he caught one.
With another of Dash's always clever nicknames, the mighty Ziggy joined the party.
There was a Pokemart in Oldale, so Dash stopped by to buy a bunch of repels. He was in a bit of a hurry to get to Petalburg and see his father, and didn't want to stop for anything. Being fully aware of the laws regarding eye contact in Hoenn, he skilfully avoided conflict with all the trainers and wild Pokemon between Oldale and Petalburg, save one youngster and his rather unfortunate Poochyena.
Once at Petalburg, Dash was asked by his father to help another kid catch his first Pokemon, which turned out to be a Ralts. (Completely useless.) Dash wanted to hang out at the gym and train, but was told to wait until he had beaten Flannery of Lavaridge first. Undaunted, the bold Dash ran straight into the woods between Petalburg and Rustboro. Again, no wild Pokemon stopped him. A few trainers slowed him down, but all failed to even harm brave Blaze. A researcher was held up briefly by a Team Aqua grunt, but was saved inadvertently when Blaze accidentally incinerated the grunt's Poochyena while scaring away a herd of Wurmple. Whoops-a-daisy.
A few more trainers were hanging around the north end of the forest, but all fell before Blaze. After a particularly brutal double massacre on a bridge, Dash was reminded that Blaze could only use his moves in limited amounts before being forced to rest. There were some Leppa berries nearby, so that was solved.
Dash heard that the gym in Rustboro was rock type, but honestly didn't give a fuck. So he ran in with his Torchic and roasted every goddamn Geodude in the building. One of the trainers had a weird nose thing too, and they turned out to be the gym leader. That would explain why Blaze took a little bit of damage, but was fairly anticlimactic.
Stone Badge in hand, Dash followed the sound of a commotion northwards, where that silly researcher had gotten his GOODS stolen. Like a true hero, Dash immediately ran towards danger. He saw a few birds along the way, and figured he'd need to fly someday. Birds fly.
So he caught a bird. Jet the Swift joined the party! (Even though he's actually more of a swallow.) The thief had kidnapped some old man's bird and ran into a dead end cave. Blaze did his thing, and the GOODS were retrieved.
Returning the GOODS to the Devon Corporation earned Dash a Pokenav and a delivery quest. There was a letter bound for Dewford and a package of GOODS bound for Slateport. The GOODS seemed a bit more important, so Dash hired the local sailor, Mr. Briney, to sail him straight there. A few chumps on the beach were training their Pokemon, and they were massacred with gleeful abandon. The GOODS were delivered to a Mr. Stern, and Dash was free to run northwards to Mauville, still on his way to Lavaridge. There was a gym there, naturally, and so Blaze was to defeat it. The Ralts-catching kid from earlier was blocking the door, but after a short battle was forced to retreat. Seriously, 20 minutes of training and that guy had the nerve to battle Blaze? Crazy.
Blaze roasted a Gym Trainer's magnemite and suddenly grew to thrice his previous height, plus arms and significant legs. No hands yet, but some sweet spikes were to be found. In addition, the new legs allowed him to fire off a pair of devastating kicks. A dozen kicks later and the Dynamo Badge was obtained. Some guy in a house gave Dash the HM for Rock Smash, and so Ziggy figured out how to hit rocks with his head. Amazing.
Even better, Rydel's Cycles was open, and the proprietor himself gave Dash a free Mach Bike. It was purple and horrible, but by Hermes it was fast.
(I have no idea how to draw bikes, handlebars, hands on bars, or people.)
Ziggy crushed a few rocks north of town, and Dash avoided a gaggle of trainers to reach Mt. Chimney's famous ash slopes, whereupon he avoided even more combat. Reaching Fallarbor in the north, he was disappointed to find no gym to challenge. There was, however, a group of Team Aqua thugs stealing some meteorite from Meteor Falls. Can a rock from space truly be stolen? Whom does it belong to? What right do we have to claim rocks? But regardless, Team Aqua was heading the same way that Dash would have to to reach Lavaridge and Flannery. He climbed the Fiery Path and took the lift to the peak of Mt. Chimney, but was annoyed to find Team Aqua and Team Magma grunts fighting all across the path southwards to Lavaridge. So he slew dozens of Zubat, Poochyena, and Carvanha to reach Archie, the Aqua Boss, to get him to remove his grunts. Instead of being a reasonable human being, Archie set his sharks, wolves, and bats upon a 10 year old boy. Not that there was any danger: Blaze killed them all faster than you could say faster than you could say faster than you could say faster than you could say "Fuck Archie, man." So Dash killed things and made it to Lavaridge.
In the process of killing things, he suddenly grew taller, with claw hands, a vest, and a sweet 'do.
And now he could kick with fire. Fucking. Badass.
There was a pretty silly puzzle in the gym relating to trampolines, quicksand, and pitfalls, but Dash's foresight showed him the true path to Flannery and he didn't have to fight a single Gym Trainer.
Killing Flannery's Slugma duo was easy, but the Torkoal took a long damn time to die. Blaze just kept kicking and kicking and kicking, but Flannery kept using illicit recovery potions on it. What a horrendous bitch. So that Torkoal doesn't get a picture. Enjoy this picture of Blaze kicking a Camerupt. Heat badge acquired!
Dash felt like his dad would have expected him to be back for a challenge by now, so he ran as fast as he could to Petalburg. 8 minutes later, and he'd crushed all the Gym trainers in the way and initiated combat with his father.
Yeah, that didn't take long. Three normal types against Blaze the overpowered fighting type.
Balance Badge in hand, Dash decided to finish the job and challenge the Pokemon League. To do that, he'd need three more badges. Some guy gave him the HM for Surf, which was handy since he'd need that to get to Fortree. A few Super Repels and some tricky timing later, and Dash was unharmed at the Weather Institute just west of Fortree. Team Aqua was assaulting the place to capture a bunch of secret Pokemon. Crazy fuckers. So Dash beat up a couple grunts and the commanding officer in short order. The head honcho of the facility offered a specimen of the secret weather-related Pokemon to Dash in thanks, which was neat.
Castor joined the party! He's really weak though. And if they had so many of these things, why didn't they just loan a few to Team Aqua instead of getting threatened by dogs and whatnot? No sense.
Dash took a 15 second power nap in the lab bed and proceeded eastward to Fortree. May interrupted his journey for a few seconds, but was quickly left behind in a scorched heap of Pokemon. Dash psychically sensed an invisible Pokemon blocking the way to the gym, so didn't stop in the town. After a short run through the brush, he encountered Steven Stone on a bridge, who gave him a Devon Scope with which to reveal the hidden Pokemon blocking the way to the gym. (A Kecleon.)
Most of the Gym Trainers had Normal/Flying Pokemon that were easily kicked to death before any harm could be done. Winona, on the other hand, had an Altaria that resisted both Fire and Fighting attacks. Combined with Altaria's Aerial Ace, this made for a difficult battle. Luckily Blaze had learned Rock Tomb from the TM Roxanne gave him. Feather Badge obtained! (Barely.)
It was off to Lilycove next. Dash ran just inside the city limits so that Jet could fly him back there immediately, then doubled back to Mt. Pyre, where he saw Team Aqua grunts wandering off to. His psychic senses had already revealed the grunt training his Wailmer in the bay, so he couldn't go any other way. A few repels later and he was on top of the mountain, kicking dogs and fish to death, plus burning the bats. He watched as Archie stole one of the orbs atop the mount and ran to Slateport. Luckily, Jet was a strong bird.
So he flew to Slateport nigh-instantaneously only to see Team Aqua making off with Captain Stern's new submarine! How crass. So he flew back to Lilycove.
After a quick stop at the Pokemon Center to restore some PP, Dash went into the cave in the harbor that he knew had to be the Aqua Hideout. He dodged every sentinel save one who was unavoidable, then fought the Aqua Admin guarding the submarine as it prepared to launch. Well, not really a fight. While he
was using Double Kick, he only really needed the first to knock out each Pokemon. It was that fast. Regardless, it was enough time for Archie to launch and head out for the underwater cave containing Kyogre.
But hey, at least the Wailmer were gone! It was time to surf to Mossdeep for the Mind Badge. While nothing stopped his journey, Dash did intentionally fish for a Tentacool to use for water transport, since Ziggy couldn't breathe underwater.
Nemo the Tentacool joined the party!
Upon reaching Mossdeep, Dash suddenly had an overpowering sensation that the gym leaders (plural!) here would be wanting a double battle. While they would be neutrally affected by Double Kick, it was clear that whichever one he didn't kill would use psychic attacks on Blaze, which was a bit dangerous. So he grabbed a Good Rod from a fisherman who volunteered it and set to fishing. On his first attempt, he caught a level 40 Sharpedo.
Ringo the Sharpedo joined the party! His Dark/Water typing made him immune to psychic attacks while being able to hit both gym leaders' Pokemon with STAB Surf. You'd think they would be more prepared for such a thing, but I guess psionics isn't all about foresight.
With the Mind Badge, Dash could use HM08 - Dive, obtained from Steven's house. Using this, Dash quickly made his way to the Seafloor Cavern, wherein he found Archie freeing Kyogre using that orb from before. What a dick. It started pouring rain, and Dash remembered that he never actually fought Brawly. Fuck.
With no time to lose, Blaze kicked everything that moved in the gym. Which, after about a minute, was nothing.
Whoops, killed the gym leader. Knuckle Badge obtained!
Jet flew back to Mossdeep, and Nemo carried the group swiftly to Sootopolis, where the massive storm cloud was centered. Wallace the local gym leader wasn't at the gym, instead standing outside the Cave of Origin. So Dash dashed dashingly through the cave entrance and killed that goddamn Kyogre what was making such a fuss. Steven was a little shocked, but who cares, anyway? It's not like he'd be the champion in another 20 minutes or so.
The battle with Wallace would have been far more brutal if not for Castor, who made his first and last appearance in combat, to set up Sunny Day. This weakened the water attacks of Wallace's Pokemon and allowed Blaze to tank his way through Wallace's entire team. The Milotic was a bit more difficult, since the weather had returned to normal, but between Blaze's kicking and Ringo's biting, it fell in short order. Milotic is flippin' complicated, so I drew the Walrein instead.
With the Rain Badge, it was time to crush the Pokemon League! Nemo carried Dash all the way to the waterfall, which he then climbed using his squid powers. There was a pretty dark cave ahead called Victory Road, but none of the trainers had any decent Pokemon. A few minutes later, Dash save the end of the cave. And then that kid with the Ralts showed up again. Goddamnit. Blaze killed basically all his Pokemon instantly, but that Ralts had evolved into a Gardevoir, which could have been a little dangerous if not for Ringo. Ringo was immune to the psychic attacks of Gardevoir and bit it in half. What a good ringer.
With the Pokemon League reached, Dash had a few missions for Jet.
First to Slateport to grab the Brick Break TM, then to Lilycove to the Move Deleter, who replaced HM Strength with said TM. Then off to Mauville to pickup his secret weapon, Kimura. Kimura was a Nincada. Once. Swapping out Nemo for Kimura, Jet carried Dash back to the Elite Four.
The first member would be Sydney, a dark-type specialist. While that made things a bit easier, Sydney's Sharpedo was fast enough to hurt Blaze before being kicked apart. So...
This bad motherfucker passed him all the cocaine he would ever need. Straight up bangin' 30 gram rocks.
AND HIS WEE LITTLE DOGGIE, TOO.
THE SILVER SHORTSWORD LETS HIM HIT GHOSTS. JUST KIDDING, BLAZE KICK.
BETTER BRING A LIGHTER. OH WAIT, I BROUGHT MY OWN.
FOR SOLAMNIA. ERR, LITTLEROOT!
and then Blaze died to Steven's Metagross. Just kidding.
A BLAZE KICK A DAY KEEPS THE METAGROSS AWAY.
FROM ZERO TO HERO IN 02:44:45.
Speedrun time: 2:44:45
Comic time: 2:40:21
Writeup time: 2:44:33
So, that's a Let's Play in roughly 8 hours and 10 minutes. Not bad. Though I guess the only "Let's" part of this was Korbac asking for a whiff of the game.
FUN MINIGAME QUESTIONS:
1. I didn't draw these pictures in this order. Can you guess which ones I drew last, once I was more hurried?
2. Why the fuck is Blaze holding all those things? One brownie point per correct answer.
3. Can you tell at which point I realized I only had 2 minutes left to finish the writeup?
4. What's your favorite picture? (Mine is Kimura.)
5. How the fuck can a swallow carry a
coconut 10-year-old?
Author
Topic: Barbarossa's X-TREME Pokemon Journey - A Close Encounter! (Read 9625 times)