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[GreatWyrmGold]

Look, no shivving. That's probably illegal.
...Oh, right, Robama...
It also doesn't preserve American values of democracy like killing Robama before he can be President-For-Life does.

The mighty, beautiful shiv, symbol of ingenuity and survival in times of hardship, is a core part of True American Values, dontcha know? You are becoming what you have fought all along! Fight it, GWG, don't become the oppressor!

That's kinda stupid. Shivs are a symbol of prisons. You're implying that America is a big prison. Want a better example of US Ingenuity and Survival in Times of Hardship? The M1 Abrahms.

Anyways.

Use TARDIS to go to the future, get healed with future medicine, go back to right before Robama dodges, and place a long, sharp object in his path. Then run on a platform which explains the advantages of a time-travelling president, like being able to predict dangers before they happen.

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Use TARDIS to go to the future, get healed with future medicine, go back to right before Robama dodges, and place a long, sharp object in his path. Then run on a platform which explains the advantages of a time-travelling president, like being able to predict dangers before they happen.

>Go to where GWG is at.
>Assist if I can be vice-president

[GreatWyrmGold]

Use TARDIS to go to the future, get healed with future medicine, go back to right before Robama dodges, and place a long, sharp object in his path. Then run on a platform which explains the advantages of a time-travelling president, like being able to predict dangers before they happen.

>Go to where GWG is at.
>Assist if I can be vice-president

Certainly!

[Doomblade187]

I will assist if I can be secretary of state.

[GreatWyrmGold]

I will assist if I can be secretary of state.

Why not?

[TCM]

GM again? Okay, I'm ready.

[Thecard]

If you want shivs to be patriotic, go to Australia.

Also, I actually want to change my action.
Run for prime minister of Canada.

[Persus13]

Beat slayerhero so hard he can never GM again.

[TopHat]

erm..... Kill something?

[Harry Baldman]

That's kinda stupid. Shivs are a symbol of prisons. You're implying that America is a big prison. Want a better example of US Ingenuity and Survival in Times of Hardship? The M1 Abrahms.

Sure, but you can't disregard the creativity and artistry employed in certain shivs, or prison weapons in general. Both of our examples are weapons used to kill or deter people, but I do believe that the humble shiv is a better example of individual ingenuity. Name an object available in prison. You can bet that somebody figured out a way to use this object to harm and kill people. That's ingenuity - taking available things and repurposing them for something completely different, all in the name of continued survival.

[Thecard]

True, a shiv is a symbol of innovation.
And if there's one thing car commercials have taught me, it's that America loves innovations.

[GreatWyrmGold]

That's kinda stupid. Shivs are a symbol of prisons. You're implying that America is a big prison. Want a better example of US Ingenuity and Survival in Times of Hardship? The M1 Abrahms.

Sure, but you can't disregard the creativity and artistry employed in certain shivs, or prison weapons in general. Both of our examples are weapons used to kill or deter people, but I do believe that the humble shiv is a better example of individual ingenuity. Name an object available in prison. You can bet that somebody figured out a way to use this object to harm and kill people. That's ingenuity - taking available things and repurposing them for something completely different, all in the name of continued survival.

Do you really want America symbolized by something that is only used by the dregs of society, washed up in the prisons of the world? And, by the way, not an American invention? That implies that we steal ideas from other times and places to try and remake ourselves in a slightly better ditch. No! That is not America! We are the most powerful nation in the world, not the world's petty thief or druggie! We deserve to be represented by a pinnacle of American technology, not a random something that happens to be sharp!

[Harry Baldman]

That implies that we steal ideas from other times and places to try and remake ourselves in a slightly better ditch.

Isn't that what everyone does? After all, there is nothing new under the sun. Besides, while tanks run out of fuel and rust with age, a true good-quality shiv is something you can pass down for generations, an elegant weapon from a more civilized age. Nothing beats a good shiv. Also, unlike tanks, shivs are fun for the whole family, and who can say that America does not treasure family values? No one, I say!

Also, think of it this way - in the great prison that is the world, where all the countries are prisoners, the USA is a stab above the rest, and the USA can dictate the fates of the other countries, because, while there are probably bigger, faster or tougher convicts, none can beat the USA.

For you see, the USA is the one with the shiv.

We deserve to be represented by a pinnacle of American technology, not a random something that happens to be sharp!

EDIT: Also, a shiv is anything but random. It is the product of planning, hard work and great subtlety. The genesis of a shiv happens long before the actual sharpening part, and it is an involved, artful process.

[Thecard]

That implies that we steal ideas from other times and places to try and remake ourselves in a slightly better ditch.

Regardless, that is kinda what we do.  Did you miss the whole "manifest destiny" bandwagon?  Or that one time we shared blankets with the Indians? (That idea, by the way, was stolen from eighteenth century Europe, back when plague was rampant.)

[GreatWyrmGold]

That implies that we steal ideas from other times and places to try and remake ourselves in a slightly better ditch.

Isn't that what everyone does? After all, there is nothing new under the sun.

Toady would probably be offended by that. And Microsoft, or whoever made the first PCs. And just about every other inventor.

Besides, while tanks run out of fuel and rust with age, a true good-quality shiv is something you can pass down for generations, an elegant weapon from a more civilized age. Nothing beats a good shiv.

Shivs break, like every other weapon. Like every other improvised weapon, shivs break pretty easily. Oh, and tanks can be maintained pretty well if you know what you're doing. Obsoletion is more of a problem.

Also, unlike tanks, shivs are fun for the whole family, and who can say that America does not treasure family values? No one, I say!

...Remind me to avoid your parties.

Also, think of it this way - in the great prison that is the world, where all the countries are prisoners, the USA is a stab above the rest, and the USA can dictate the fates of the other countries, because, while there are probably bigger, faster or tougher convicts, none can beat the USA.
For you see, the USA is the one with the shiv.

Well, that requires a VERY specific metaphor; the shiv doesn't imply that the whole world is a prison, you know, it just implies that America is a prisoner.

That implies that we steal ideas from other times and places to try and remake ourselves in a slightly better ditch.

Regardless, that is kinda what we do.  Did you miss the whole "manifest destiny" bandwagon?  Or that one time we shared blankets with the Indians? (That idea, by the way, was stolen from eighteenth century Europe, back when plague was rampant.)

We also invent new stuff. Besides, even if it's true, do you really want to proclaim with all your pride, "We steal inventions from other people!"