Turn the phone into a time machine of some sort. Travel forward in time to right before Robama solved the fiscal cliff.
(4+3) You construct a time-machine/car/plane/refrigerator/power plant/motel/shopping mall.
(2+3) You manage to find the time-machine portion of your invention and zip ahead into the future, where you find Robama battling neck-to-neck with the fiscal cliff, physically manifesting itself as a hydra.
Run for presidency. Again. This time, on the ever-popular shiv platform. The planks are shivs.
(6) You run for presidency on a platform of shiv, with the cleverly made slogan of "SHIV we can!" Although it is very popular, all your supporters die of shiv-related wounds, causing much uproarious laughter from the living supporters of Robama.
INITIATE DRIVEBY ON GM
(4-1) You drive by General Motors and fire wildly into their facilities with a musket
(5-1 vs. 6) Your attempts to kill them are foiled when you realize it's hard to kill cars with bullets.
(6 vs. 1-1) They drop their new model, the
Chevy Impala Lightspeed Freestyle Cruiser Battleship Jaguar Shark 420' Smookeweederey'day, directly on you, crushing you instantly.
YOU ARE DED
I'll be at a dwarven fortress.
>Travel somewhere else.
(6) You walk into Tony's Epic Gay Bar.
START THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE.
START THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE.
START THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE.
(5) You turn a guy into a zombie. Upon success, you go home to masturbate in your attic.
Take up a career in Twilight Jew Vampire slaying to restore my honor, and work out my anti-Semeticism.
(6+2) Do you mean you slay Jew Vampires, or you're a Jew that slays vampires? This question needs to get answered before you jump into a new career.
(1+2) You're hatred for Jews boils down to a "they're fine folks but ain't no Jew marryin' my daughta'" type of mentality. And you still don't think Mel Brooks is funny.
Run for president, on the 'I'm not really a politician' platform.
(3) Your deceitful but charming and friendly campaign gains you the votes of the "Hey, I don't know about politics but I'd like to have a beer with that guy." Out of all candidates in the running, you are placed 312th from the stop, slightly lower than Oprah's pet monkey, but slightly above Ron Paul.
Infect everyone with virus.
Develop no symptoms so I'm not noticed.
(1) You manage to get eaten by a single-celled organism before you infect anyone.
(4) At least you didn't develop noticeable symptoms.
YOU ARE DED
NPCS:
Robama (2) laughs at his weak opposition, before going back to his all night jam session with Jay-Z and Gabe Newell.
Bill Clinton (4) sends out federal police to arrest everyone in PETA. Unfortunately, this also creates the People for the Ethical Treatment of PETA, or for short, PETPETA.
The U.S. Military (4) kills past terrorists, then guys back into the future to join Robama's night jam.
Future Robama (5 vs. 1) decapitates the Fiscal Cliff Hyrda by turning the Constitution into a huge Katana. This causes his approval rating to jump to 43854%.
Zombie (1) goes to SlayerHero's house and tries eating him. The ensuing pantsless struggle ends with both of them falling from the attic window and dying. Hey, at least he got one last orgasm right?
SLAYERHERO & ZOMBIE IS DED
As GM, I bestow my temporary powers to summon the great NPC gangster: (3) Lil G'! Note that he is 17, so the extent of his goals are to get laid, eat Nutella and play video games. Thug life.
Next GM Shall be (d10 = 2) Xantalos!
TopHat: Dead pathogen.
Xantalos: Somewhat prejudiced Hitler deciding on vampire hunting related occupation. +2
Doomblade187: Little known politician.
LordSlowPoke: Dead under the weight of a new car model. -1
Persus13: Killing Slayerhero
GWG: Watching Future Robama become even more popular.
ZtG: At Tony's Epic Gay Bar.
Thecard: Standing in front of millions of shived-to-death supporters, and being laughed at by Robama.
TCM: Selling crack to gangsters.
SlayerHero90: Pantsless corpse resting next to zombie corpse.
Author
Topic: ROLL TO GM (Read 34657 times)