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Author Topic: ... said no dwarf ever.  (Read 21041 times)

Hans Lemurson

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Re: ... said no dwarf ever.
« Reply #120 on: February 03, 2014, 07:23:33 am »
I will close that drawbridge in a quick and timely fashion!
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Foolprooof way to penetrate aquifers of unlimited depth.  (Make sure to import at least 10 stones for mechanisms)
Toughen Dwarves by dropping stuff on them.  (Nothing too heavy though, and make sure to wear armor.)
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"Urist had a little lamb
whose feet tracked blighted soot.
And into every face he saw
his sooty foot he put."

Larix

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Re: ... said no dwarf ever.
« Reply #121 on: February 03, 2014, 09:30:55 am »
That just stands to reason; there's no "close drawbridge" job, only "Pull the lever". :P
And my dwarfs are apparently undwarven, because they do pull levers in a timely fashion.

Anyway: (no dwarf ever said:)
"That minecart's been shifted one tile to make room for the construction of the roller. It only needs to be moved the one tile back to its assigned route stop, dragging it all the hundred+ steps to the minecart stockpile is totally unnecessary."

"The metal minecart i'm _carrying_ to the stockpile instead of putting it back on its route stop has just been forbidden. I better drop it right here and don't _take it along on my trip to pick up a new sock_."
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Erils

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Re: ... said no dwarf ever.
« Reply #122 on: February 03, 2014, 11:48:17 am »
Quote from: Hans Lemurson on February 03, 2014, 07:23:33 am
I will close that drawbridge in a quick and timely fashion!

I kept a dwarf in a room by the lever with no other labor preferences enabled so that his only job was to pull the lever. This works for a while until one day when another siege comes. I tell him to pull the lever and wait. A while later my fort is overrun by goblins who kill all my dwarves. Turns out the lever puller was "on break"
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TheEvilSocky

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Re: ... said no dwarf ever.
« Reply #123 on: February 03, 2014, 12:23:56 pm »
"I just told the overseer that we were out of seeds, no need to say it again"
Said no farmer ever


"Ah we don't have enough iron to finish those bins? Well the smelters are still making some so I'll go ahead and lower the priorty of this task for now so some other metal smith task will get done in the mean time instead of three/four days of metal smiths screaming they can't do the job"
Said no manager ever



"I knew when I joined the militia it would be life threatening, my uncle knew that too, but swinging a hammer is all he knew, I should be happy he died doing what he loved, or at the very least unsurprised"
Said no soldier ever


"That miasma is really bothersome, oh it's coming from that dogs corpse, since I'm part of a team of dwarves who's only job is cleaning and disposing of refuse I'll get right on cleaning that up, as opposed to leaving it there for a few weeks"
Said no custom "waste management" dwarf ever
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Knit tie

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Re: ... said no dwarf ever.
« Reply #124 on: February 03, 2014, 01:47:12 pm »
"I probably should remove my wife's corpse from our bed before sleeping in it." - None of my widower dwarves ever said that.
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WillowLuman

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Re: ... said no dwarf ever.
« Reply #125 on: February 03, 2014, 02:50:34 pm »
"Werecreatures are the greatest threat to our fortress."
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Keep Me Safe - A Girl and Her Computer (Illustrated Game)
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Bumber

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Re: ... said no dwarf ever.
« Reply #126 on: February 03, 2014, 02:53:24 pm »
Quote from: Knit tie on February 03, 2014, 01:47:12 pm
"I probably should remove my wife's corpse from our bed before sleeping in it." - None of my widower dwarves ever said that.
"I've had a long day, woman. I'm too tired to bury your heavy ass today." - Said no dwarf, but they were certainly thinking it loudly.
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Quote from: Ispil on August 30, 2018, 01:17:08 pm
Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

PDF urist master

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Re: ... said no dwarf ever.
« Reply #127 on: February 03, 2014, 06:17:19 pm »
I would like to shave today.
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We are not evil by choice, but evil by necessity.

VerdantSF

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Re: ... said no dwarf ever.
« Reply #128 on: February 03, 2014, 06:35:51 pm »
"That there beast looks poisonous!  Maybe I shouldn't bite it!"
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Nidilap

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Re: ... said no dwarf ever.
« Reply #129 on: February 25, 2014, 06:24:28 pm »
I probably should not ask for stuff made out of stuff we don't have. Besides, I have very important things to do for the fortress.

Said no noble. Ever.
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Nidilap likes Adamantine, Bituminous Coal, Garnets, Cats for their aloofness, Dwarves for their stupidity, and Swords for their Spikes and edges. When possible, he prefers to eat pizza, ramen noodles, and sushi. He absolutely detests elves and spiders. He needs MTN DEW to get through the working day.

A medium- sized creature prone to great ambition, but only when he feels like it.

klefenz

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Re: ... said no dwarf ever.
« Reply #130 on: February 25, 2014, 07:38:56 pm »
"Im still young, i dont really need a tomb yet, no need to make a big fuss about it"

Said no noble ever.
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Mr Space Cat

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Re: ... said no dwarf ever.
« Reply #131 on: February 25, 2014, 08:18:13 pm »
"I'm going to do this logically and efficiently."
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WillowLuman

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Re: ... said no dwarf ever.
« Reply #132 on: February 25, 2014, 08:31:08 pm »
"Water's fine"
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Keep Me Safe - A Girl and Her Computer (Illustrated Game)
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Knit tie

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Re: ... said no dwarf ever.
« Reply #133 on: February 26, 2014, 12:29:57 am »
"Boy, I probably should stop mixing everything with guts and deep-frying it in lard!" - said no dwarf cook ever.
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blazing glory

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Re: ... said no dwarf ever.
« Reply #134 on: February 26, 2014, 02:31:39 am »
oh I'm distrustful of why the overseer is so eager for me to pull the lever - said no noble ever
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