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Author Topic: ~you want to be an alchemist~  (Read 1871 times)

LordSlowpoke

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~you want to be an alchemist~
« on: December 17, 2012, 05:30:21 pm »
oh boy oh boy oh boy you always wanted to be an alchemist

and suddenly you are.

it just so happens that you hear the familiar noise of rocks that are about to fall from a ceiling.

Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)


HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE FORUM GAME THAT WILL BE INCORPORATING DICE THAT ARE HORRIBLY, HORRIBLY PREJUDICED, ROLLING AT SEEMINGLY RANDOM TIMES AND LURKING IN THE DARK WAITING FOR YOU TO FEEL SAFE BEFORE EATING YOUR SOUL. THAT SAID, IT'S NOT A STRICT RTD, SO IT BELONGS HERE. I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR STAY AS MUCH AS I HOPE TO ENJOY MINE.
« Last Edit: December 19, 2012, 03:52:51 pm by LordSlowpoke »
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Xantalos

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Re: ~you are an alchemist~
« Reply #1 on: December 17, 2012, 05:32:57 pm »
Wait for rocks to drop into pot
Brew rock potion
It makes exponential rock
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Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
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((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

rabidgam3r

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Re: ~you are an alchemist~
« Reply #2 on: December 17, 2012, 05:33:10 pm »
Check inventory, use sink as shield.
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Quote from: Jacob/Lee on August 10, 2013, 10:00:47 am
Even if he hadn't brought the server down in a ball of flaming, slow-mo gibbing corgis

LordSlowpoke

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Re: ~you are an alchemist~
« Reply #3 on: December 17, 2012, 06:08:44 pm »
rocks fall from sky-ceiling

will take while before anything happens
.
might as well discuss the philosophical nature of the situation you are currently in, because it is certainly not anything that has a surprisingly convoluted plot that the gm thought up idling in front of a dwarf fortress scr-

rocks have fallen

everyone is already undead

rocks fly off planet in shame
.
catch one in pot, though

you check your inventory, spaghetti falls out, fill spaghetti hole with rock potion

turns snake, base snake attached to inventory, head becomes astronaut

the sink is a metaphor for your inability to dance. you wield it successfully.
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rabidgam3r

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Re: ~you are an alchemist~
« Reply #4 on: December 17, 2012, 06:09:53 pm »
Try to figure out WHAT JUST HAPPENED.
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Quote from: Jacob/Lee on August 10, 2013, 10:00:47 am
Even if he hadn't brought the server down in a ball of flaming, slow-mo gibbing corgis

Hubris Incalculable

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Re: ~you are an alchemist~
« Reply #5 on: December 17, 2012, 06:26:00 pm »
Imbibe an infusion of equine feces.
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Code: (Bay 12 Lower Boards IRC) [Select]
server = irc.darkmyst.net
channel = #bay12lb

Jbg97

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Re: ~you are an alchemist~
« Reply #6 on: December 17, 2012, 06:44:11 pm »
Burn everything. With burn everything potion. Scatter the ashes and read them like tea leaves. Become rich. Die of drug overdose. Go to hell. Burn everything. Cry because it is already on fire.
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
DF doesn't mold players into its image - DF merely selects those who were always ready for DF.
Quote from: Owlbread
Everything will burn. Everything must burn.
Quote from: Girlinhat
The science of burning innocent children could be perfected into clockwork.
Quote from: Insanity X
And that is how Jbg97 saved dwarfmas

Xantalos

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Re: ~you are an alchemist~
« Reply #7 on: December 17, 2012, 07:04:32 pm »
Fuse self with rock using alchemist glue
Use potion to become alchemist mecha
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XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
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((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

LordSlowpoke

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Re: ~you are an alchemist~
« Reply #8 on: December 18, 2012, 11:58:49 am »
                                                            ++++++''''''::,,,,,,,,,,,,,:;;;;,,,,,,,,,,:;;;;;;;;;;;';;;;;;;;;;;;;'''';;;;;;
                                                            ++++'''''''';:,,,,,,,,,,,,,,;;;;:,,,,,,,,..;;;;;;;;;;;,:::;;;;;;;;;;''';;;;;;;
                                                            +++++'''''''',,,,,,,,,,,,,,,;:;;;,,,,,,,.,,;:;;;;;;;:..,::::;;;:;;;;''';;;;;;;
what just happened was a fine display of the art of alchemism.          +++'+''''''''',,,,,,,,,,,,,,,;;;;;,,,,,.,..,;;:;;;:..`.,::::;:;;;:;''';;;;;;;;
                                                            +'+''''''''''';,,,,,,,,,,.,,,:;;;;:,,,,.,,.,;:;;;...``..:::::;:::;;''';;;;;;;;
there is no potion for burn everything,                                           +'''''''''''''';,,,,,,,,,,..,,;;;;',,,,,,..,:;;;;`..````,::::::;:;;;';;;;;;;;;
                                                            '''''''''''''''':,,,,,,,,,..,,:;;;;;,,,,,.,.,;;;;...`.```..,::::::;;';;;;;;;;;
                                                            ''''''''''''''''':,,,,,,,,..,,,;;;;;,,,,,,...;;;;,.````````.,::::;;';;;;;;;;;;
                                                            ''''''''''''''''';,,,,,,,,,,,,,:;;;;;,,,,...,:;;;:..````````.::::;;';;;;;;;;;;
                                                            ''''''''''''''''''',,,,,,,,,..,,::;;',,,,,...,;::;....```````,::;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
                                                            ''''''''''''';;;;';:,,,,,.,,.,.,:;;;;;,,,,,,.,:;;:,.```````````::;;;;:;;;;;;;;
                                                            ''''''''''''''';;;'';:,,,,,,,.,,,:;;;':,,,,.,,:::;:.`````````.`,:;;;;;;;;;;;;;
                                                            '''''''''''';';;;;;;':,,,,,,.,,,,::;:;;,,,,..,,:::;..``````````,:;;;::;;;;;;;;
                                                            '''''''''''';';;';';'';,,,,,....,,;;:;;;,,,,.,,;;;;...`````````,:;;;::;;;;;;;;
                                                            '''''''''';';';;;;;;;'';:,,,,...,,:;:;;;:,,,,,,;::;,.``````````,:;;;:;;;;;;;;;
now leaving orbit, beverage tastes of hay                                      '''''''''''';;;;;;;;;;;';,,,,,,,.,,:;;;';,,,,,,;:;;:`..````````,:;;::;;;;;;;;;
                                                            '''''''''';;'';;;;;;;';;';,,,,,,,,,::;;;;:,,,,,::;;;...````````.:;;::;;:;;;;;;
                                                            '''''''';;;''';;;;;;;;;;''',,,,,,.,,;:;;';,,,,,::;;;.`..```````.,;;;;;;;:;;;''
                                                            '''''''';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;';;'',,,,,.,,::;;';;,,,,::;;;...`.`````.:;;;;:;;;;;;;''
                                                            ''''''''';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'';;;:,,,,,,,;;;;;;:,,,;;;;;..``````.,:::;;;;:;;;;;;;'
ashes scattered, reading unavailable in nonexistent ash                    ''''''''';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;';;;';,,,,,,;;;;;';,,,;;;;;,....`..:::::;;;;;;;;;;;;'
                                                            ''''''';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;';;;;;;:,,,,:;;;;:;;,,;;;;;:.....,::::;;;';;;;;;;;;;;
.                                                                                            '''''';';;;';;';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;:,,,:;;::,;;;;;;;;;:...,:;:::;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
                                                            ''''''';;;;';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;';:,,;'';,;;;;;;;;;:.,;;:;:;;:;;;;;;;;:;;;;;;
                                                            '''''''';;';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,:;''';';;;;;;;;;:;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;:;;;;;:;
                                                            ''''''';'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;';;;;;;;;:...:';';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;:::;;
                                                            ''''''';''';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,....,;;:;;:;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;:;:::;
                                                            ''';'';'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;:,....::;;:;;;;:;;'';;:;;;;;:;:;;;:::::::::;:::;
                                                            ''''';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;:......,;;'';;;;;''''''';;;;;;;;::;::;:::::::::::;
face right in front of supply of delicious                                         '''''';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;:,.....``,:;;:;;;;;;;;;;;'';;;;::::::::::::::::::::::
                                                            ''''';;;;;;';;;;;;;;;;:,.....`.`.:;::;;;;;;;'''''';';;;;;;;:::;:::::::::::::..
delicious saturated hay, though                                                   ''''''';';;;;;;;;;;;;;,,.....`..:;;:::;;;;;;;;;;;;'';;;;;:::;:::::::::::::,.``
                                                            '''''''';;';;;;;;;;;;:,,.......::;::;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'';;;;::::::::::::::,..```.
                                                            '''';'''';;;;;;;;;;;:,,.......,:;:;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;';:;::::::::::::,..``..```
                                                            '''''''';;;;;;;;;;;:,,.......,;..`:::;;;;:;...::;;;;;;:::::::::::::.``````````
                                                            '''''''';;;';;;;;;:,,........:..```::::;;:..``.::::;;';::::::::::,.```````````
                                                            ''''''';;';';;;;;:,,........:;.,'+;,:::;;..`;',.:::;;;:::::::::::,.```````````
                                                            ''''''''';;;;;;::,.,.......,:,`''++::::;:.`;''',::::;:;::::::::::::.``````````
so you resort to taking the snake out of your pocket.                      '''''''';;;;;:,,,..........;;.;''++,;:::,..'''+,::::;;;:::::::::::..``````````
                                                            ''''''''';;:,,,,,.,.......::,`''+++;;:;;..:'+++:::::;:;::::::::,..````````````
                                                            ''';;';';:,,,,,...,.,.....:;.`'+++':;;;;.`:'+++::::;::;::::,..````````````````
                                                            ';''';';:,,,,,,.,....,:::;;;..'++++;;;;;.`;''++:::::;;;;;:.```````````````````
                                                            '''';;:::,,,,,...,,:;;;;;';;..'+++';;;;;.`;'+++:::;::;::.`.```````````````````
                                                            ;''';:::,,,,,.,:::;;:;;;;;;;.`''++:;;;;;,.;''+',::;;:;::..``````````````````..
                                                            ';;::::,,,.,::;;::;;;;;;';;;,.''+':;;;;;:.;'++;.;::;::;;,.`````````````````.,,
                                                            :::::,::::;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'';;;.;+',;;;:;;;.;''',,:;::;;;:,.`.`````````````.,,,:
                                                            :::::;;;';;;;;;;;;;;;;;';;';;:`.,;:;:;;;;,.'':.:::::;;;::`..````````````.,,,::
a troupe of fuzzy, fuzzy sheep calmly burn                                     ;:;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;';;'';';''';;;;;:``.,:;:;;;;::;.`````````````..,,,,:
                                                            ;;''';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'';;'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;::::;,.````````````..,,:::
while entering the core of a local sun                                            '''';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;''''';';;;;;;;;;;;:;,..`,::::;:`.````````..,,,,,:::
                                                            '';';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;';;;,,::::;:;:;;;;;:;,,,....`..:::::````````.,,,,::,,,::
                                                            ''';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;:....::::;;'';;:;,....`.`````.,:::`````..,,,,::,:::::,
                                                            '';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;';:......::;:::;:;:,...``````````.,::,..,,,,,,:::,:,:,:::
                                                            '';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;:':.......:::;:::::...``````````````,::,,,,,,:,,:::::::::,
                                                            ';';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;:;;,.....`.:::::;::...```````````````.::,,,,,:,:,::::::::,:
snake fusion failure, snake is on fire                                              ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;:;,.........;;;'';....`.``````````````,:,,,,,,:,::::::::::,
                                                            ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;::;;......`..,:;;;;:,,.`.```````````````.,,,,,,::,,:::::::,:,
                                                            ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;:......`.,.,:;;;,....`````````````````,,,,,,:::,:,,::::,:,
                                                            ;;;;;;;;;;;;;::;;:;;.......`,.`..:;,``......``````````````,,,,,,,,:,:,,,::,,,:
                                                            ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;:::::......,::....````.`.,:,.``````````````.,.,,,,,:,,::,:,,:,:
                                                            ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;::,,:...,,..,.....```````.`,.,`````````````.,,,,,,,::,::,::::::
                                                            ';;;;;;;;;;;::,,:::,.:....,,..``.`.`````.`,```,..````````...,,,,,,,,,:,,,:::::
                                                            ;;;;;;;;;;;:,::::::,......,.`.`.`.`````.,....``...```````.,,,,,,,,,,,,:,:::,,,
                                                            ';;;;;;;::,::::::::........,,..`.`,`````.``:.````..``````,,,,,,,,:,,,,,,,::::;
combustion: complete, brewing now in process                               ';;;;;:::::;::::::::....,:...`..``:```.``.`,,.`.```..````::,,,,,,,,,:,,:;:;;;;
                                                            '';;;;:::::::::::::;`.,,.,......`.,.``......`.,.`````.```,,,,,,,,,,,,,:;;;;':;
                                                            ''';;::::;;::::::::;:,...,...,.`.`,`,`...,`...`..```````.,,,,,,,,,,,:;;;;:;;:;
                                                            ''';;:;::::::::::::::....,`.:,;;:.,...;'';,.,.`....`````.,,,,,,,,,,:::::;;:;;:
en route.                                                                                  ''';;:;::::::::::::,:....,.,.''''':::'''''',:...`...``.,,.,,,,,:::::;:;;;::;;:
                                                            ''';;;:;::::::::::,,:;:.:.,.:..`......`.``,;.``````.``,,,,,,,,:::::;:;;;;;;;::
                                                            '''';;::::::::::::,,,:',,:.....`..````..`.``,```.````,:,.,,,,;;:;:;:;;;;::;:::
                                                            ;;:;;::::::::::,:,:,,,:::,,....``.........```,..`..,,,,,.,,::;::::::;::;;:;':;
you are now a nope, still an alchemist                                           ';';:::::::::::,,,,,,,,::::;:::....`.`..`..,,,,..,,,,,,,,,::;;;;;;;::;;;;;;;:'
                                                            ';';:::::::::,,,,,,,,,,::,,,,,,:...````````..:;;;,.,,,,,,,::::;;;;:;;';:;;;:';
space is on fire also                                                                   ;;;;::::::::,,,,,,,,,,,:,,,,,,,,,:.,..,,.....::;:,.,,,,,,::::;:':';;;:;;;;;;':



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Xantalos

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Re: ~you are an alchemist~
« Reply #9 on: December 18, 2012, 12:03:18 pm »
Chop off foot
Use in retcon potion
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Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

scapheap

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Re: ~you are an alchemist~
« Reply #10 on: December 18, 2012, 12:09:59 pm »
Take note, 'No more magic mushrooms for you'
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Quote from: Flying Dice on March 05, 2013, 11:29:48 pm
You were planning to have a 15 year old magical girl kill Witches by drinking them under the table!? It's original, at least.
Morpheus, a magic girls game

kaian-a-coel

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Re: ~you are an alchemist~
« Reply #11 on: December 18, 2012, 01:17:23 pm »
>acid/magic mushrooms/blue salt/white powder effect: wear off.
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Quote from: wierd on January 11, 2014, 01:49:58 am
EA games is like the dark lord sauron, and the gaming consumer demographic is like gollum.
Sauron makes the precious.
Gollum loves and hates the precious.
Full Sig

Riccto

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Re: ~you are an alchemist~
« Reply #12 on: December 18, 2012, 01:37:08 pm »
Use Spaghetti Potion. I know you have some.
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Raggle Fraggle

miauw62

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Re: ~you are an alchemist~
« Reply #13 on: December 18, 2012, 01:39:07 pm »
Find mana potion, become wizard.
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Quote from: MonkeyHead on May 25, 2014, 05:36:03 am
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.

LordSlowpoke

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Re: ~you are an alchemist~
« Reply #14 on: December 19, 2012, 03:51:39 pm »
.......................,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,;+';::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;;;;;;;+#;::;:::::;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
.......................,,,,,,,,,,,,,,'+;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;;;;;:'#;:::::::;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
........................,,,,,,,,,,:'+;,::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;;;;;;+;::::::;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
........................,,,,,,,,,'+;:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;;;;;'#:;::;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
........................,,,,,,,;#;::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;;;;;:'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
........................,,,,,:+'::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,,,,::;;;;;;#;:;;;;;:;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
`............`.........,,.,,+;,:::::::,,,:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,,,,,:::;;;;;'':;;;;:;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;         foot chopped
`......``.+`...........,..:+,,,::::,,,,,::::::::,::::::::,,:::::::::::,,,::::,,,:::::;;;;;'';:;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
......``:`:'.+;.......,,,':..,,::,,,,,,,::::::,,,,::::::::,,,::::::::,,,,,:::::::::::::;;;;''+;:;:;;;;;:;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
......+.@.::` `........:+,,..,::,,,..,,:::::,,,.,:::::::::,,,,:,,,:::,,,::::::::::::::::;;;''''';;:;;;;;:::;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
...... @`:.,,..,.....,;',...,:,,,...,,,:,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::,,,,:,,,,,,,,:,,::::::::::::::::::;;;'''+';''';;;;;;'''''';;'''''
`..................,,;;:,,..,,,,...,,,,,,,,,:,...,,,,,::,,,,,::,,,,,,,,,:::::::;;;;;;;:::::;;;'''''++#########+###+++++''
``.................;;:,,,..,,,....,,,,,,,:::,....,,,,,,:,,,,,:::,,,::,,,,::::::::::;;;;;;;;;;;;'''''+''+++'+''''++++++'''
`.................;::,,,,.,,,...,,,,,,:::::,,,.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,::::::::::,,::::::::::::::;;;;;;;;;;''''+'++++'''''+++++++''
..,:::;'''+##@@###::::,,..,,...,,,:,,:::::::::::,,::::,,,::,,,:::::::::::::::::::::::::::;;;;;;;;;''';++'+#'''+++++++++''
;';'''''''';''';+::::,,.......,,::,,::::::::::::::::::,,,:::,,:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;;;;;'';'''''+'+''++'++++++++'         applying potion
;''''''''''''''+::::::,.....,,,::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,,:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;;;;;;;;;;'''''''++++++++++++
;'''''''''''';+::::::,....,,,,::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;;;;;;;''';'';;+'+'++++++++++
;''''''''''''',,:::::,..,,,:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;;;;;;''''';;:#+''+++++++++
''''''''''';+:::::,:,,.,,,:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;;;;;;''''';;;+'''++++++++
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It is a fine day to be an assistant aboard the Aurora. Security was surprisingly reasonable, the science departaments didn't decide they needed a disposable person to turn into a genetic abomination or a bomb tester yet, but the most lucky of them was a man by the name of Joseph. There were many Josephs, but he was the only one to receive a special soup from the Chef. For free, too! Let's zoom on to him while he's readying up to first taste-

>Foot: Appear mysteriously

and then an assistant was the soup. you make a mental note to avoid magic mushrooms in the future, and since they're a rather vital part of magic potions, you're going to need to learn how to channel it from the surroundings or find an artifact that does it for you. of course, you know none of this. totally legit. you return to your bowl of canned spaghetti potion.

you were not the assistant, mind you. the path of probability and dice that happened to be carried out there has been removed from the premises like a kebab from a serbian chimney, complete with accordion music. who are you? it is a mystery. one thing is known, however.

you want to be an alchemist.
BLARGH I HAD THIS ALL WRITTEN UP AND I GOT A TIMEOUT ON A GODDAMN POST PREVIEW HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK
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