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[CaptainLambcake]

my entire melee squad is decked out in iron armor.  they have iron chain leggings, so you can see their luscious legs.  but the commander, under his iron leggings, is a artifact... SILK THONG. "Togal Bakust"  The Storm of Urging. (lol) Studded with iron, decorated with cave spider silk, and covered in llama bone.adorned with rings of gypsum and iron, and has spikes of llama bone.on it is an image of the wearer striking down Uszma Giltglows the Jewel of Gold.  on it is an image of the ascension of our king to his current position in 91.  BEST ARTIFACT

[GiglameshDespair]

Spikes on a thong? Kinky.

That said, studded with iron sounds pretty uncomfortable.

[Loud Whispers]

The Dwarven commissariat wear thongs to improve Dwarven morale. It's a highly advanced battlefield strategy.

[CaptainLambcake]

He's 140, wrinkly skin and all.  I wonder what i'll do when he dies   He has 10 years minimum though, as my dwarves get very lucky in combat, and we've had few casualties.  but yeah, this guy's our fort hero.

in a completely unrelated note, my last 4 or 5 fortresses have had no vampires, have they been made rarer or something?

[XXSockXX]

in a completely unrelated note, my last 4 or 5 fortresses have had no vampires, have they been made rarer or something?

Not that I know of, but with shorter history it's possible to get none at all or only very few.

[CaptainLambcake]

I go for 125 years so my dwarves don't die of old age immediately hehe.  That's probably why.  Anyways........ silk thongs

[MrWillsauce]

Customize his uniform so he doesn't wear pants. The display of this artifact is more important than his protection.

[CaptainLambcake]

i was thinking about making a wrestler with a mask and the thong.  that'd be traumatizing, being attacked by him

[CaptainLambcake]

The Dwarven commissariat wear thongs to improve Dwarven morale. It's a highly advanced battlefield strategy.

seeing junk inspires me too

[Urist McLaptop]

Enough to make a FB turn tail XD

[MrWillsauce]

You should make your hammerer wear nothing but the thong.

[CaptainLambcake]

normally I would, but the only crimes in my fort are stupid mandates.  my mayors never mandate ANYTHING,
literally.  but my baron..  he might go on an adventure.

[CaptainLambcake]

forgot to mention, he was striking down a dragon.  also, since the pants are chain link, you technically can see right under em.  could  I put leather leggings under iron leggings?  my dwarves always get shot in the legs

[Sutremaine]

You can put leather trousers under iron leggings. You can also add extra leg coverage by using cloaks and robes/dresses, which protect the legs as well as the upper body. These aren't going to do much compared to the metal though.

Are you sure they're actually wearing the leg protection when they get shot in the legs?

[CaptainLambcake]

Ye, i'm positive.  I make sure they're all wearing their armor, it'd be fatal if they didn't.  Shots to the chest bounce, and they bat most or block with their shields, but shots to the legs almost always bruise, chip a muscle, or cause some bleeding.