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Author Topic: The old relationships in the workplace topic  (Read 1386 times)

Sir Finkus

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Re: The old relationships in the workplace topic
« Reply #15 on: December 13, 2012, 03:16:48 pm »

Worrying about somebody doing that is like worrying that a driver may hit the gas on red light just to run you over. I mean, yeah, there really are some horrible persons out there, but they're few and far inbetween.
Lots of otherwise normal people get horrible when they get dumped.  I've seen some shit.
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Besides, can't you always threaten the company with a wrongful dismissal lawsuit? HR would have to actually look into the sexual harassment case rather than just take her word for it, and if you did nothing wrong you've got nothing to fear.
Which is exactly the problem.  These kinds of cases are usually he said she said matters.  As far as wrongful dismissal goes, you can only do that in certain states except for in certain circumstances.

 
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And if you're a member of a minority you could also threaten to include racial discrimination in your wrongful dismissal case, which will make any HR department back the hell off.
So lie about being discriminated against because of your race?  What a scummy thing to do.  I think if you did that kind of thing you'd fall squarely into the "horrible person" category.  Not only does it help trivialize real claims of racism, it also unfairly paints your company and boss as bigots. 

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Ok, thanks for all the replies! This gives a pretty unbiased view and I definitely appreciate all opinions given especially from those who chose to share personal experiences.

So, I tried to arrange some time for us to talk about the whole thing, but unfortunately there just wasn't time today for both of us to meet to discuss the matter. However, we then agreed to meet for lunch tomorrow to talk about the whole thing a bit.

Having had some time to sort out my own feelings on this matter, I came to the following conclusion: I really like this girl and are attracted to her but don't necessarily think that it is love that I am feeling. Of course the fact that we do not know each other very well at all really makes this natural.

In most cases I think this would be enough to start a relationship with someone and see how it goes. However, for the workplace I feel one needs to be really certain of what you are doing before entering something like this, be prepared to take the risk that you still will have to see (and maybe even work with) the person in question from time to time even if it doesnt work out. Both of us have clear goals of where we want to be in the company in future and it would be a very bad idea to risk this if there isnt a good reason to do so.

So, what I am going to suggest at this meeting is that we just hang out a bit more and get to know each other better for now. At the very least it should remove the uncertainty that is already hanging in the air and help to clarify matters a bit.

I would suggest clearing the air and trying to end the entire thing amicably.  Once you do that, you should probably avoid contact with her, which should be easy because you work in different departments.

Mechatronic

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Re: The old relationships in the workplace topic
« Reply #16 on: December 13, 2012, 11:45:52 pm »

Yeah, personally I'd go on a few dates and see how things go. I've only done this with one woman I worked with but it ended up fine. Try to get an understanding of where she is coming from even though this is obviously delicate. Most likely neither of you are entirely sure so date and see what happens.
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Sensei

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Re: The old relationships in the workplace topic
« Reply #17 on: December 14, 2012, 01:13:36 am »

Chalk up another vote for "go for it". Just go on a date. Maybe make your trepidations about it interfering with your work clear, but otherwise, yeah. Go for it.
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EuchreJack

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Re: The old relationships in the workplace topic
« Reply #18 on: December 14, 2012, 06:08:00 am »

Oh for fucks sake. Half the couples I know met a the workplace.
The only reason to be wary is if there's a superior-subordinate relationship.
Why?  It worked out well for the current United States president (he worked under his future wife).

Il Palazzo

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Re: The old relationships in the workplace topic
« Reply #19 on: December 14, 2012, 06:45:27 am »

Oh for fucks sake. Half the couples I know met a the workplace.
The only reason to be wary is if there's a superior-subordinate relationship.
Why?  It worked out well for the current United States president (he worked under his future wife).
It didn't work well for that other one, the tall one with white hair and a saxophone.
But I suppose there are countless boss-secretary marriages out there, so that kinda balances.
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EuchreJack

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Re: The old relationships in the workplace topic
« Reply #20 on: December 15, 2012, 01:46:25 pm »

Oh for fucks sake. Half the couples I know met a the workplace.
The only reason to be wary is if there's a superior-subordinate relationship.
Why?  It worked out well for the current United States president (he worked under his future wife).
It didn't work well for that other one, the tall one with white hair and a saxophone.
But I suppose there are countless boss-secretary marriages out there, so that kinda balances.
Why do you say that?  He wasn't fired.   :P

Il Palazzo

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Re: The old relationships in the workplace topic
« Reply #21 on: December 15, 2012, 11:24:18 pm »

Oh for fucks sake. Half the couples I know met a the workplace.
The only reason to be wary is if there's a superior-subordinate relationship.
Why?  It worked out well for the current United States president (he worked under his future wife).
It didn't work well for that other one, the tall one with white hair and a saxophone.
But I suppose there are countless boss-secretary marriages out there, so that kinda balances.
Why do you say that?  He wasn't fired.   :P
Well, for example, the state-controlled media in vaguelly pseudo-hardline-catholic, first-and-a-half world countries like, let's say, Poland painted him as the worst.
That's a good meteric, isn't it?
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Mullet Master

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Re: The old relationships in the workplace topic
« Reply #22 on: December 16, 2012, 04:23:13 am »

my company is filled with people who essentially married their coworkers. Its not a terrible plan provided you live in a place with absolutely zero other options.
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