Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

Stick with the current fort, let the vampire be our savior!

4 (100%)

Reclaim, Time to start with a fresh batch of dwarves!

0 (0%)

Total Members Voted: 4

Voting closed: April 17, 2013, 09:47:35 pm

[laularukyrumo]

Oh.

Well. Now we can drop them down a giant chute and watch them explode. Saves mechanisms.

[laularukyrumo]

Overseer Laularu Kyrumo, Administrative logs

We are riding for the battlefield in force tonight,
Fury of the darkest evil cry for war
Far beyond the boundaries of hell and starlight,
On the road to lands unknown forever more

Through the caverns far below our quest will lead us,
Onwards through the ice and snow forever more
Standing fighting full of hate the time has come now,
Stand and sound the guns of glory cry for war

There are two things we have in abundance at Mirroredfreezes: Goblins and Useless, jobless fuckwits. We're going to start cleaning house. Purge the gobbos and turn our useless fuckwits into brutish, finely honed tools of war and armageddon. But first, we need to get everyone inside and close the gates, so we can start training everyone.

Okay guys. Just pull the lever and we'll lock the door.

Any minute now.

Guys?

GUYS!?!

So the lever doesn't actually operate the bridge. FUCK.

Go go cage traps I hope! I left the entire 8 man military just out of reach of the goblins, so their numbers should thin out, but... oh dear. Luckily, I only see the one legion--a squad of 15 crossbows, lead by a spearman. One archer and the spearman are caged already, and since I've ordered everyone to stay in the dining room, nobody's going to change out the cage traps and get shanked in the process. Here goes nothing!



God. They just keep shooting the crap out of the one puppy. I've given the command for the dogs to flee the pasture and head for the dining hall, just to hopefully lure the stupid goblins further in. A few got caged, but they're hanging just on the edge of the traps and emptying their quivers into the one dog they have line-of-sight to.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Well. They pretty much destroyed that dog. I don't think I'll be sending in the military proper... we need to kite them, basically. Maybe if I send out useless peasants one at a time, they'll either empty their quivers or just flat-out step forward, and once they hit the cage traps, they're done for.

Let's start with... this guy.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

He'd be a wonderful replacement for BP as a trader, if it weren't for the fact that I don't actually give a flying fuck. Let's see... *Pulls out a file folder, thumbs through to Dumat's page, crosses something out and scribbles in "Pincushion" as profession*



God dammit Dumat, you're a terrible pincushion! You didn't even take one bolt, much less cage a goblin! At least you had the sense to move downstairs before you bled out. Purple heart, maybe, if you actually prove to not fuck up totally.

HEY GOBLINS, COME KILL THIS GUY LAYING ON THE GROUND, JUST COME UP AND WHACK HIM IN THE HEAD! NO WE DON'T HAVE ANY CAGE TRAPS WAITING FOR YOU, NONE AT ALL, NONE WHATSOEVER.

All right. Let's send in someone else. Ooh, good time as any to sacrifice a fisherman! Seriously, what pansy of a dwarf eats fish, anyways? That's such an elven dish. Eew. Elf huggers.
Ooh, never mind. I found a "great" Potash maker with no other skills. WELCOME TO THE FUCKING MILITARY, DAKOST!

Oh, shit, and she's even got a baby! Two birds with one stone, I say! Maybe she'll even use the baby as a shield so she can take extra hits and possibly kite some gobbos into a wooden grave!

NOPE. One bolt to the leg, and she passes out. God. Dammit. At least they're not smart enough to just beat her to death with their crossbows, they keep wasting ammo. It'll take twice as much to kill her AND the baby, so maybe I can just waste all their ammo and then send in the real guns to mop up. I don't wanna risk an outright shooting battle, though. We're far too outnumbered. Why do you think I'm going the pincushion route?

Seven pages of "The flying {Copper Bolt} strikes the Pincushion in the BODYPART, doing damage of some kind" later, she finally takes one to the skull. Now they start on the baby. It's even crawling away, trying to escape. Haha. It'll starve to death anyway, with luck.

Baby bled to death. Down to 7 uncaged gobbos, one of which actually went up and around the stairs and is camping behind fortifications now. Haha. Maybe I'll send someone to bludgeon him? Eh. Better not risk it. SEND MORE POTASH MAKERS!

[javierpwn]

The leer is in the corner of the dining hall, I believe

Took me a while using the "Buildings" tab to find the damn thing

[laularukyrumo]

I definitely pulled that lever. Twice. It didn't actually operate the bridge. I'll be fixing THAT once the goblins are gone.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Overseer Laularu Kyrumo, Administrative Logs

I have determined that Ushat Duthnuringish is the least skilled and least useful dwarf in the entire fortress, save for babies and children. He will not be missed.

TO HONOR, GLORY, AND DEATH!

Also, I've noticed, two of our full-time militia (Oranos and Asob) are on the verge of depression. Since I planned on doing a complete military overhaul and drafting ANYWAYS, they're going out in a blaze of glory as well. Sure hope they're not married.

Asob is the first on the scene, and a whole flurry of crossbow bolts whiz by him, dodging like Neo. Unfortunately, a crossbow bolt hits him in the right hand--though it doesn't seem fatal, it surely hurts like hell. She soon finds herself swarmed by goblins, who actually wield their crossbows as melee weapons. At last! Perhaps we can lure them over to the side? Where are the other two pincushions? This is unacceptable, these fell beasts must be purged!

By the time Oranos arrives on the scene, Asob is dead, but at the cost of another caged goblin. At this rate, we can just wear them down with sheer numbers. It feels good to be on the winning side for once. Oranos takes a swing at a goblin on the interior side of our bridge, missing, and he gets a crossbow bolt to the left leg. Down on the ground he goes, and unconscious he goes. FUCK. He's not in a position to lure any of them into traps... I'll need to reorganize our trap layout... The semi-spiral design gives me an idea.

The goblins are down to 83 total bolts between them, and at least one's out of ammo. This is good. This is what I was hoping for. We just gotta wear them down with useless dyers and the like, and then we've got them. No chance. No choice. Escape or die.

Finally, the last of the three pincushions I'd queued up heads up the ramps. Took you bloody long enough, you monkey fighting slowpoke. Well, I'm gonna go through and send out a squad of, say, 5 or so dorks. GET THEM!

Ushat DumbassMcGee is the first on the scene, and he'll likely eat 30 or so crossbow bolts. At least I'm hoping. Literally, I just need to get them to run out of bolts, then I can kite them into the cages. We have the advantage here. Either they run away and give up, letting us move out and get back to business, or they charge us and get caged, letting us have the moral-increasing benefit of dropping them to their death. Perhaps I'll even carve out a room to view their public executions, maybe leave them in cages and let the military beat on them. GOD I hate these greenskin bastards. At least they only sent one squad... I hate to imagine what would've happened if a whole siege had came to say "hello" at the same time, oops, your gate is busted and we're gonna walk right on in!

Haha. Remember what I said about "taking 30 or so bolts?" Well...

one to the leg, he passes out, one to the lung, they stop shooting.

FUCK

I sent in 5 pincushions. 4 died, one's asleep in his bed. Lazy slacker. I'll put him in the goblin grinder if he ever wakes up.

Ooh, what's this? The merchants are getting impatient, and think they can make a break for it. I'll have to watch what happens. Elves don't bring caravan guards, sadly, but maybe they'll kite the goblins into getting trapped. At the very least, they'll perforate the elves, we'll get their stuff, and the gobbos will waste bolts. Win win win!

shit.

I forgot, dwarves get mad when other, less useful, dwarves die. We got a tantrumer.... I'll be enlisting HIS ass in the suicide squad here, just in case he goes off the deep end.

Hostergaard is throwing a tantrum. He is absolutely miserable. Must've been buddies with the pincushions. Oh well. It actually pains me to see him go, but ten adequate archers probably are better in the long run than a single hero--because as we've seen, it only takes one lucky shot to take your hero out of the action instantly and completely. And that's bad.

Likot finally woke up and decided to throw down with the gobbos. Only two left uncaged.... only 24 bolts between the two of them. Likot even got away alive, though he's got busted guts, and his lower spine is busted up. This cat's as good as bagged. Now all that's left to do is to set up some PROJECT: HAPPINESS. Because. Damn. We're gonna need to stave off a tantrum spiral here.... fucking goblins and their psychological warfare. Hostergaard is wrestling with a hen. Once he calms down, he's going on goblin duty.

One goblin ran away when Hostergaard started blasting him, but the other one got KO'd. We've won this battle... now it's cleanup time.

[javierpwn]

wait..... what happened to me?
im a hunter/marksdwarf......

[laularukyrumo]

You don't have to send out the entire squad. You can send different individual units to do different things. You stayed inside like a good boy.

To deal with the tantrum spiral, of course.

[Oranos]

you murdered me (and yes my dwarf was married with kids) now ill have to haunt you. lol

[javierpwn]

im gonna need an iron/steel shield to deal with the tantrummers, thye like to thriw stuff

[Glloyd]

Oh man. Nice update. Out of named dwarves, what're the casualties?

[laularukyrumo]

I haven't touched the game since that update... let me just post the whole Dead/Missing list.

*looks at the list* A HUNDRED AND FORTY? SHIT!

well. That includes a lot of gobbos and muskox and shit. Let's see.... I'm relatively sure Oranos is the only named casualty so far, though Hostergaard is throwing a tantrum (Uninjured in the battle though). The next update is gonna be all about me salvaging what I can from the tantrum spiral. I'll be researching HAPPINESS GENERATOR designs and see what I can do to save our sanities.

And no, I didn't murder you, Oranos. I made you a martyr. You should be honored to die in battle.

[laularukyrumo]

Overseer Laularu Kyrumo, Administrative Logs

It is the 19th of Hemanite. In ages yet to come, this day shall be celebrated as the beginning of a period called Restoration. Because today is the day I start the process of cleaning shit up.

The last of the goblins is dead, bled out with about 40 assorted crossbow bolts sticking out of various body parts. Hostergaard stopped tantruming right after he scored a kill, thankfully. If a fistfight starts due to a tantruming commoner, I can probably just order everyone to beat the shit out of whoever the offender is. But if one of the two military dwarves we have left goes off their rockers, we may be in trouble. I'm considering locking Hostergaard outside until I have my happiness generator set up.

From what I'm seeing, though.... it's already spread too deep for me to attempt to seal off troublemakers. We've got a =lot= of dwarves throwing tantrums, and I don't want to just send all the sad people to jail just because I think I can save them, if we get the instruments constructed in time. I've decided that, at the very least, I'm going to send sad people to an out-of-the-way area until I can subject them to my happiness generator. Assuming the damn thing gets built.

Spoiler: A brief summary of gamelog.txt (click to show/hide)

`Hostergaard' K–buktad, Ranger has calmed down.
Urdim Somsodel, Craftsdwarf is throwing a tantrum!
Urdim Somsodel, Craftsdwarf has calmed down.
Shem Nakiszaneg has created a masterpiece!
Sakzul M”zirvab“k, Craftsdwarf is throwing a tantrum!
Monom Absam‹ngiz, Furnace Operator is stricken by melancholy!
Erith Olinistrath, Pump Operator is throwing a tantrum!
Sakzul M”zirvab“k, Craftsdwarf has calmed down.
`Sabretache' Elised‰m, Weaponsmith is throwing a tantrum!
`Hostergaard' K–buktad, Ranger is throwing a tantrum!
`Hostergaard' K–buktad, Ranger cancels Pickup Equipment: Throwing tantrum.
`Javier' Gusilrilem, militia captain is throwing a tantrum!
`Deathsword' Zanoslikot, Cheese Maker cancels Store Item in Stockpile: Drop-off inaccessible.
`Di' Rig•thn†zom, Potash Maker cancels Store Item in Stockpile: Drop-off inaccessible.
Sakzul Datanotil, Fish Cleaner cancels Store Item in Stockpile: Drop-off inaccessible.
Rith Uristtat, Shearer cancels Store Item in Stockpile: Drop-off inaccessible.
`Deathsword' Zanoslikot, Cheese Maker cancels Store Item in Stockpile: Drop-off inaccessible.
Inod Ilrallenod, Farmer cancels Store Item in Bin: Drop-off inaccessible.
Doren Oslansemor, Wood Burner cancels Store Item in Bin: Drop-off inaccessible.
Zaneg tolzuntŒr, Butcher cancels Dump Item: Drop-off inaccessible.
`Deathsword' Zanoslikot, Cheese Maker cancels Store Item in Stockpile: Drop-off inaccessible.
Inod Ilrallenod, Farmer cancels Store Item in Stockpile: Drop-off inaccessible.
`Deathsword' Zanoslikot, Cheese Maker cancels Store Item in Stockpile: Drop-off inaccessible.
Inod Ilrallenod, Farmer cancels Store Item in Stockpile: Drop-off inaccessible.
Erith Olinistrath, Pump Operator has calmed down.
The Stray Puppy (Tame) has been found dead.
`Sabretache' Elised‰m, Weaponsmith has calmed down.
`Hostergaard' K–buktad, Ranger has calmed down.
`Javier' Gusilrilem, militia captain has calmed down.
The Stray war Dog (Tame) has been missing for a week.
Stray Dog (Tame) has given birth to puppies.
The dwarves suspended the construction of Rough slate Bridge.
Kumil Ducimnanir, Clerk has gone stark raving mad!
Mestthos Lolokshadmal, Weaponsmith is throwing a tantrum!
Urdim Somsodel, Craftsdwarf is throwing a tantrum!
Mestthos Lolokshadmal, Weaponsmith has calmed down.
Urdim Somsodel, Craftsdwarf has calmed down.
Sakzul Datanotil, Fish Cleaner is throwing a tantrum!
An animal has grown to become a Stray Cat.
x2
x3
Urdim Somsodel, Craftsdwarf is throwing a tantrum!
Sakzul Datanotil, Fish Cleaner has calmed down.
The weather has cleared.
Inod Ilrallenod, Farmer is throwing a tantrum!
Sakzul Datanotil, Fish Cleaner is throwing a tantrum!

Eeew..... The parts are almost in place, but we've had a couple cases of melancholy, and a butcher has gone completely off the rockers, killing a baby and a useless peasant. Damage control is gonna have to happen immediately. So many fist fights.... Deathsword himself was the first to successfully locate and intercept the raging butcher. Sensei Shade came in soon after and gave him a blow to the head, striking him down. Let's hope that his services will no longer be required.

Crap. Nearly twice the number of miserable dwarves now that the butcher is dead. Punk must've made a lot of friends. Sociopath. At least I've finally got all the machinery up... time to institute some group therapy here!

*Sigh of relief* Already starting to see results.... So here's what I ended up doing:



That, my friends, is a circular array of screw pumps, trading a couple units of water around, and generating mist for the dining hall directly below. I've made all other areas of the fort forbidden, and made sure that only Ecstatic dwarves are allowed to pump. I'm leaving everybody in there until we get this insanity problem sorted once and for all. We WILL have order.

[bp920091]

Beginning Post has been updated with laularukyrumo's current entries.

Very nicely done Lau

Oh, and i recommend using 4x of those generators (make sure to put a space in between them), as it causes maximum happiness (16 pumps total). Also, put people in a burrow underneath them if they are unhappy (content to miserable, everyone has to stay in the !!Happy Room!!)

Rig them up to perpetual motion generators to have them run constantly, without needing to pump (or a bunch of windmill farms)

[laularukyrumo]

Overseer Laularu Kyrumo, Administrative Logs

With the mild success of the Artificial Saccharine Synthesizer, some of the more sane members of the fort have suggested the construction of additional models. A burgeoning mechanic even brought forth plans for an automated ASS model.

Good for him. We'll consider those designs when we're not currently in the midst of an Emo Epidemic.

At least 4 dwarves have gone melancholy, plus the one who berserked earlier. It took far too long to get the components for even the first ASS in place, and while I am intrigued by the idea of automated power for them, that will have to wait. The fortress is in total lock down at the moment, restricted to the area beneath the ASS and the operation room itself. Considering that the improvement seems to be stagnating, I'm going to go to the trouble of separating the fortress into happy and unhappy dwarves, with the former being burrowed beneath the ASS Everyone else? Start making more ASSes.

In an effort to conserve wood, I'm making the next ASSes mostly out of metal, using stone blocks. I've also ordered smelting of lignite, and slabs, slabs, and more slabs, to keep the ghosts of those fallen from making the mental recovery that much harder. We will NOT be the laughing stock of a fort that fell to a single squad of goblins.

Figures. Fucking LAZY ass dwarves. The only workers with enough happiness to WORK, are also too damn LAZY to work. I've disabled hauling, and conscripted everyone into the metalsmithing industry, and yet I havent' gotten parts for a single god damn ASS. Meanwhile, we're up to at least 4 more unnamed casualties, including another berserker, and no less than 40 Miserable dwarves. So... Many... Red... Arrows...

I'm seriously tempted to just lock the doors on the tantrumers, let the fort spiral out, Dig Deeper and establish a new fort underground with the happy ones. Migrants can clean out bodies and the like, and we'll just live among the crundles until then. Fuck this frozen wasteland.

LaularuKyrumo cancels Oversee Fort: Throwing Tantrum.

FUCK IT. WE'RE GOING UNDERGROUND.

Haha. Humans, more goblins, AND A WERELIZARD showed up. DON'T GIVE A FUCK, STUPID GOBLINS, WE'RE ALL UNDERGROUND!



Poop. Operation "Abandon Ship" has failed. The squad of ecstatic dwarves I brought down have been tainted by the dwarven hive mind, and are now miserable from all their miserable friends going berserk and being murdered by goblins. I'm making the executive decision to release the vampire, after everything calms down. As long as he doesn't dig into any areas with goblins, or corpses, he should be fine. Just let the migrants clean up after him. Considering that the new migrants shouldn't know any of the dead bodies, I'm hoping they won't actually have a problem, and therefore won't go from content to miserable upon entry. Let's see how this plays out.... I'm gonna puncture the aquifer to see if that cleans out goblins, too.

[bp920091]

Oh yeah, I knew my battery backup was a good idea

[laularukyrumo]

Honestly, I'm amazed nobody's pulled the lever that spears the vampire yet. Berserk dwarves tend to pull random levers.

Now, I DID forbid the door that lead to that part of town, so they shouldn't TRY to path to it... but I don't know if berserk dwarves try and break down doors or not, plus there are gobbos in the fort, so, I'm probably going to have the vamp moved a couple tiles just in case once I get this horrid mess loaded back up. I paused it as a migrant wave showed up... gonna see what sorts of things we can salvage out of the fort before it floods. I punctured the aquifer to make sure all the goblins drowned after the fort finished spiraling.

EDIT: And that's all she wrote, folks. First of spring, and while I'd like to keep playing a bit longer just to make it easier on the next poor sucker, it's out of my hands. I did all I could, though. Had the vampire dig into the stone a little bit to get enough space to make a mason and craftdwarf workshop, and Memorialized one of the ghosts that popped up, because he was of the Sadistic variety, and the idea of the vamp being scared to death made me very very sad. Future overseers should memorialize ghosts as they become a problem, just because there's going to be too much other work on the table.

Anyway, I also had him dig up to the farms, and I've sealed them off from the rest of the fortress. We've got various seeds, a pick, and an iron spear... should be enough to start over here. Unfortunately, we got a bigass siege during winter... which I could care less about, if not for the fact that it might make migrants getting to the Dwarf Hole a bit more difficult. Some thief stole an artifact, I could give less of a crap. It was probably a useless trinket anyways.

Ironically, the aquifer is doing a terrible job of flooding the fort. The water keeps draining down into the unfinished cavern breach, and evaporates pretty much before it can fill anything up. So now our central staircase is a waterfall. Oogity boogity.

Good luck! You're gonna need it.

ALSO. For those who wish to call me out for "intentionally screwing the fort for the next overseer," let it be known that this entire situation could have been avoided if SOMEONE had labeled the lever that kept the goblins outside. Just gonna throw that out there.

Save is Here