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[Sappho]

I've been reading Drunk Fortress and I've been enjoying it. I also enjoy drinking. And I have the flu. Seriously, it’s pretty bad. For the past three days I had to work with the flu because I can’t afford to stay home. I might be healthy already if I could have stayed home, but as it stands I’ve been spiking a fever pretty regularly and going through boxes of tissues like crazy. Today I blew my nose and then nearly passed out. I literally had to lie on the floor with my feet in the air to hold onto consciousness. That’s probably not a good sign. Thank god it’s the weekend at last and I can relax.

As luck would have it, the local "home remedy" for the flu is drinking copious amounts of slivovice, a local liqueur brewed from plums. It's pretty highly alcoholic, and I've been sipping it all evening. So, as you may have already guessed by now given what I’ve written so far, I’m pretty drunk already. Fortunately I have MAD drunk skills (years of practice) and I can still type and maintain a relatively cogent narrative despite my poor decision making and other hilarious side effects of alcohol. The downside being that I tend to ramble. Not that I’ve done that already, right?

More to the point, I’ve been planning a new adventurer succession game for about a week now. Previous succession games (The Museum and my creation, the Adventurer Retirement Home) have been based around bringing objects to a particular location and going down in history as a survivor of Adventures, but this one will be different. I spent many hours (too many to admit) creating an incredibly hostile, mostly-evil, and very old (over 4000 years) world populated primarily by necromancers and zombies. At the center of this world, in the most hostile area, is a volcano surrounded by necromancer towers. (It was not easy to make this happen in world gen, but I managed it.) This area is in a valley surrounded by mountains, and outside of the mountains are more necromancer towers and what remains of civilization. I’ll upload a map when I’m more sober. At this volcano I plan to build a “haven” tower designed as the last refuge for civilized sentient beings. The purpose of the succession game will be to start at one of the fringe civilizations as a peasant with no skills whatsoever, and somehow survive the trek over the mountains and into the haven tower without being torn apart by zombies. Also, automatic lose if someone lets a zombie into the tower.

What I’m about to embark on right now in my drunken state is a sort of prequel to this succession game. I’m going to start an adventurer and drunkenly navigate to the future site of the tower, and try to remember to take screen shots and record my adventure on the way.

Erm… I hope I didn’t ruin it by telling the whole story in advance. But there will be a twist! I have planned a twist which I have not yet spoiled. Also I will continue to drink. Just took a sip of slivovice to prove I mean business.

I have nicknamed the world “Necropia” because it seems appropriate and because I can’t remember how to figure out the name of the world after it’s been created.

Spoiler: Chapter One (click to show/hide)

Fucking hell, this world is old. There’s so many historical figures and events and other things that it takes 5 minutes to open Legends mode or start a new game. I’m starting as a demigod simply because I’m sure I won’t survive otherwise, and I’ll probably have to save-scum just to survive with a demigod.

Okay, now really starting Chapter One:

My name is Gatshi Murderlyrics. Names are like that these days. Everything is like that these days. I live in the hamlet of Rinsecluster, which is meaningless. It doesn’t matter where anyone lives anymore. It’s not like life has any meaning anymore.

It’s the 9th of Malachite, 4073, and the world has gone to hell. Just south of here is a necromancer tower. There’s towers everywhere these days, each shared by a whole cult of necromancers because there’s so many fucking necromancers that there’s not enough space for each of them to have their own towers anymore. Those of us who “live” here are just future zombies to take the place of the current zombies when they all fall to pieces too small to be of use.



(sip)

I’m not going to be a zombie, though. I’ve already decided that. I mean, my body is pretty much pickled by alcohol already, but I’m not gonna be zombified any further than I already am. Hell with that. I got plans, my friends. Friends who live in my head. Whoever can hear this. Presumably someone can. Or not, it doesn’t matter.

(sip)

It’s a desert here because it’s a desert pretty much everywhere. It only rains on about 2% of the world, from what I’ve heard, and I’m not likely to ever see anything less dry than a desert. They say that many years ago there was rain and moisture and we didn’t have to drink our own piss, but I’ve got my doubts.

Anyway, I’m on my way out of this place before the zombies get me. There has to be a place without zombies. Right?

The necromancer tower is south, so I’m going north.

I managed to find a sucker willing to travel with me.



She’s an animal dissector, and I don’t really want to think about what that entails exactly. Anyway, she was all “you’re stupid for travelling alone” and I was all “well then why don’t you come with me” and she actually said OK. I guess anything is better than zombification, right? Including dismemberment by zombies?

I guess we’ll find out.

(sip)

People keep asking me to kill vampires and mummies and the like. They can fuck right off. I’m going to survive as long as possible, and that means NOT seeking out undead abominations who want to kill me and defile me and/or my corpse in various horrifying ways.

We’re gonna travel slowly, anyway, because I don’t want to run into any unwanted horrors.

I wonder if the world was ever beautiful.

(sip)



The world is full of evil. I mean it is literally everywhere. Can’t fucking get away from it. They tell stories of days when you could walk down the street without encountering a zombified cat, but I don’t know if I believe that. Sounds like a pipe dream to me.

(sip)

Oh, snap, I just remembered I can rezise the game window. Anyway, my retarded animal-dissecting comrade managed to get herself attacked by a foul blendec. Actually I don’t know who shot first, but I guess I better go save her so I don’t get et by bogeymen.



I don’t even know what the fuck a foul blendec is, other than that it sounds (and looks) disgusting.



Hey, Dissecty over there isn’t half bad. Maybe I didn’t make an entirely horrific choice of traveling companion after all.

Well after a bit of traveling Dissecty seems to have mostly recovered. She lost a toe, but it could have been a hell of a lot worse.



Fuck, I feel like we’ve been walking forever, but it’s a hell of along way to the next “safe” location. Did you notice how I put safe in quotes? I hope that came through.

(sip)

Okay well, I might not finish this tonight. Anyway, here’s the beginning! The drunker I get, the more rambly it is likely to get! This is why men and women are different. When men do a drunk fortress, they type less. When women try a drunk adventurer, we write so much that we even bore ourselves. BUT WE CANNOT STOP IT.

Did you guys notice how I managed to upload and include the images even before sobering up? I bet you guys don't even believe I'm drunk. That is how incredible my drunk fu is.

But seriously, I've had like half a bottle of slivovice. Granted it's only 45% alcohol, but still. That's a lot more alcohol than I normally drink. And I'm NOT STOPPING NOW.

(sip)

[Scruffy]

A great idea. Keep us posted!
By the way, i missread the name on the first time reading it..

[Sappho]

What did you misread it as? I need to be spoonfed subtlety at the moment.

[NAV]

Nice, reminds me of Mordor. Like if the entire world was Mordor. And that is awesome.
You should try to rescue as many people as you can, and bring them to the tower. Be a hero!
See you at the adventurers retirement home, it's almost my turn!

PS. You drink like a dwarf.

[Sappho]

Well I went to bed shortly after that last post. Took ages to get to sleep, then woke up about an hour ago and still can't get back to sleep. It's 4:45 now. I'm totally sober but still sick. Guess the slivovice didn't work this time. I will resume my attempts to sleep after I post this. But I figured maybe I should get out of bed and do something to try to reset my flu-addled brain and remind it that it needs rest.

When I awoke I immediately thought "oh armok what did I do this time," but that story came out better than I thought! Not nearly as much ranting on about how drunk I was as I remembered. This seems to be my downfall... As my drunkenness increases, I tend to remain perfectly coherent while spending an increasing amount of time raving about how drunk I am and how amazed everyone must be that I am so coherent despite my drunkenness. The concern seeming to be that everyone believe that I really am drunk and not faking it for... I don't know. Do people fake being drunk? I must be a very annoying drunk. Imagine being at a party standing next to a girl who seems pretty with it but won't shut up about how drunk she is. Oh armok am I really that person... :C

I actually only played the game for about 20 minutes and spent the rest of the time trying to keep my screen shots organized (mostly failed at this part) and writing. So I didn't get very far. I will continue this when I've had a more reasonable amount of sleep, but I won't be drunk. I believe too much alcohol is probably counterproductive when trying to overcome a bad flu.

Also, I went ahead and fixed the title, replacing "prequel" with "prologue" as I had intended to write...

[Sappho]

Alright, I think playing with the flu is nearly as good as playing drunk anyway. Plus I hardly slept last night. Here's the next section.

Spoiler: Later That Day (click to show/hide)

Well, the good news is I found some trees. The bad news is it’s raining some kind of nauseating sludge.



So fucking disgusting. I’d like to find some shelter, but we’ve gotten pretty far from what passes for civilization these days. I remember hearing about a cave not too far from here, though. Maybe we can hide in there for a while.



It’s been “raining” off and on for a while now. I’m completely covered. The sludge has stopped falling from the poisoned sky for the time being, but now that we’ve found this cave, we might as well have a look inside. Never hurts to have a safe haven in reserve.



There appears to be a naked goblin vampire in here. I hadn’t planned on taking on any nocturnal abominations, but I suppose I’ll have to kill one of them eventually, and I want this cave for myself. Little fucker doesn’t look too tough anyway.



That little fucker killed Dissecty! That’s it, he’s going down HARD.

He dodged most of my initial axe swings, so I threw a rock so hard at him that it punctured his lung, then hacked apart his leg so he couldn’t walk.

Then I sliced his whole body right down the middle.



No one is going to zombify me. There’s blood everywhere and I’m getting awfully thirsty. That fucking sludge outside got in my waterskin and I’m feeling particularly vicious right now.



You know, I was planning to take a rest here in this cave, but I’ve gotten one hell of an adrenaline rush from this fight. I’m gonna carry on towards the next village, toxic slime be damned. And I’m taking Dissecty’s body with me. I’ve grown rather fond of her. She was like a pet.

And now she’s like a pet rock.

Also, it occurs to me that this probably belongs in the stories forum, not the adventure mode forum. Should I move it?

EDIT: Next part of the story is ready!

Spoiler: The Sun Sets on Day One (click to show/hide)

It’s strange, I’ve been walking for several hours now since the sun set but I still don’t feel tired. I guess that adrenaline rush still has me going. I wonder if I can make it all the way to the next village without sleep…



Ah, looks like I won’t make it after all. I’ll just tuck Dissecty’s bloody, mangled corpse under my head and snooze until the sun comes up.



As the sun comes up I can see pretty far into the distance. Red sand, rocks, and the occasional cactus off into infinity. No water in sight, and I’m getting thirsty. How convenient that these ostriches wander around carrying liquid right inside their bodies, ready to drink.

Later…



Coming to the end of the blood-red desert at last, looking out over the scenic badlands just up ahead. Brown and gray rocks will be such a nice change. Off in the distance a ways is some sort of fort. Probably run by fucking zombies, but I’ll stop in anyway just in case there’s something useful there. At least some booze… I ran out ages ago and sobriety is not being kind to me.



This place is overrun with wild animals. On the plus side, none of them appear to be zombified, and there’s no obvious puddles of putrid slime. If I can find a source of food and water it might make sense to hole up here for a while. Or I could just slaughter the animals. All they’re doing is standing around shitting everywhere anyway.



Well the place is deserted, and not even a drop of booze to keep my spirits up. Guess I’ll move on to the cluster of villages to the north. I hear there’s even a proper city up there, no doubt full of rotting corpses, blood-sucking vampires, and poisonous glop falling from the sky. I can’t wait.



Finally made it to the town, imaginary friend, and the townspeople are so friendly. It will take me some time to get used to the local custom of greeting newcomers by swinging your fists at their heads.



Well for some reason it seems this town is not entirely safe. The locals seem to be rabid or something. Some kind of new zombie perhaps? Or maybe they’re all just crazy.

Good thing I’ve still managed to hold on to my sanity. Isn’t that right, Dissecty?



TO BE CONTINUED…

Does anyone know why the whole town is hostile to me on arrival? I haven't killed anyone except that vampire and a couple of animals way out in the desert. I did drink some of that blood, but it hasn't had any effect yet. Are they really just all crazy?

[MrWillsauce]

Maybe the vampire was a member of their civ or something weird. Did you happen to kill any domesticated animals by accident?

[GoombaGeek]

As luck would have it, the local "home remedy" for the flu is drinking copious amounts of slivovice

That stuff is in Dungeons of Dredmor! No way!

[xominxac]

Ho Ho! Another masterpiece by Sappho!

[Eric Blank]

I like the sound of where this is going!

[Misturr Crow]

Is the town of a different civ? Theirs and the civ you come from could be warring.
This is already looking beautiful. (and legible!)

[Sappho]

The vampire was a goblin and was located quite a ways away, so I wouldn't have thought it was a member of a civ. I have done very little fighting in this game. My kill list is the vampire, a foul blendec, and an ostrich in the desert. Definitely no tame creatures.

I suppose the civs could be at war, but when I did a quick check of Legends before I started playing, I was impressed by how non-existent war seemed to be in recent decades. If there is a war, it's been raging for at least... 40 years?

I'll have to load up my clean copy of the world and have another look, I guess. Or I can just carry on treating them like they've gone mad in the wasteland.

Also: I still need to grab Dungeons of Dredmor. I keep meaning to buy it but then I always figure I already have too many games to play. Generally I don't have time to play at all, but with the whole "being sick" thing I have little else to do. Also, I slept for 12 hours last night and I'm still not any healthier. The slivovice didn't work (not for lack of trying, I really drank over half the bottle), so maybe tonight I'll try svařák instead. (I believe it's called mulled wine in English.) It's also supposed to be good when you're sick. The alcohol content isn't so high, but even a mild buzz on top of the flu ought to impair me reasonably well.

So my immediate plan is to scrape together some breakfast without passing out and maybe do a few other things, but I'll definitely be playing and writing today. Also, maybe I should move this to the stories forum. What do you guys think?

[MrWillsauce]

Move it to the Stories board. Also don't die.

[Sappho]

OK, I swear I used to know how to move topics but I can't find it now. Is it possible? If so, how do I move it?

I think I probably won't die just yet. Just filling tissue after tissue with green nastiness and moaning a lot. Bet you wish you didn't know that! : D

[MrWillsauce]

Should be at the bottom left corner of the topic for the OP.