Alrighty then, figures it's about time to write this. Been planning it for a month or so, silly, isn't it? Mostly due to the fact that as soon as I fire up some good music on my laptop and read up on whatever happened during the day, I don't feel like making walls of text worth of self-pity anymore. Guess I should try to not make it one of those, however. Here's a few things I'd like to tackle with you, fellas... actually, no, a list wouldn't work here. Let's start from a new paragraph.
I am a 16 year old male that has for the last three months been enrolled in a rather prestigious high school. Fascinating, no? There probably wouldn't be any sort of trouble hadn't I been dead-set on going exactly there instead of sticking with the various backwater facilities my hometown has to offer. The first month, which I have spent at one of the local dorms, was pretty much hell. Imagine someone whose priorities after food, water and shelter are having said shelter shared with people who can be trusted or none, and the ability to enjoy some peace and quiet in it, thrown into a room with three other people. I didn't mind their taste in music, I didn't mind that they enforced their taste in music on three other rooms next to ours using a set of speakers which contained a ridiculously overpowered subwoofer, I did my best not to mind when their friends opened the door without knocking at just about every point of the day and were unable to close them without a resounding slam, or when the friends they brought over found it a great idea to enjoy porn right on the other side of the room while I were attempting to write an essay instead of theirs - which, given that was just about the entire room coming over here to see one person, made a bit of sense in my opinion, I could however be simply inconsiderate right now - yet thanks to the fact that they went to sleep at something 1am every day and didn't let anyone else do so before them, along with others, made me unable to stand their company and after a turbulent week I wound up living in a room I'm renting from my aunt, which I barely know and feel goddamn anxious around, along with her son who is supposedly leaving for some kinda merchant ship on the 20th. Before anyone asks, I did try to talk with them about the matters above, and as such being ridiculed joined the list. Fun times.
Speaking of being anxious, that's matter number one I guess. The above has been just a bit of backstory I figured I should present. It's been rather overwhelming at one point, leaving me lying in bed for two days straight before I got myself together, packed some basics and rode straight home where I figured I could get some help on the matter. I have, actually. Now while I still sneak around my aunt's house, I do so in a manner that allows me to halfheartedly function, hell, I even cooked myself dinner yesterday. I enjoy cooking, given that I have someone to cook for, yet this time I were satisfied with simply getting around to do it. I can't tell why I care, really, it's not like I'm a burden to anyone here am I? I just... don't know. I'd like to go back to the days where I were more or less emotionally numb, was easier living that way, didn't have to think of why any of the things we're doing here make sense. Truth be told it's been far harder than before believing in the fact that I'm working for my future and all that, the better I do today the better I'll be off tomorrow, seeing that skills matter not if you've got contacts, but if you haven't got contacts, you aren't getting anywhere, at least in this country. Perhaps somewhere else that isn't true, but I'd be hard pressed to find such a place by myself.
Well... alright. That'd be the first one, I suppose. Been sitting here for half an hour and only the above and this has appeared in the text editor, and I really need to get dressed, head out and pick up a bit of groceries so I don't wind up being hungry all day. Haven't eaten breakfast or anything yet and it's 3pm, so this is rather serious. I'll make sure to edit this post to add more, but feel free to comment on what's already there. Don't want to come back and say "well this was silly" and delete it, so here goes, right?