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[Kadzar]

Oh, also, one time I found a razor lying around in the house and decide to shave half a side of my pubes. Also add too the list staying up late on multiple occasions such that I have insomnia and subsequently felt the need to tell Bay 12 how I once shaved off half my pubes.

[Heron TSG]

This past Sunday I accidentally scheduled my meatspace D&D 3.5 game (The one I DM) at the exact same time as both of my Bay12 games. And that is the story of how I was glued to my computer chair for 6 hours.

[Scoops Novel]

Kadzar, your not the guy Seraphim342 ran into on the simarly titled amazingly stupid things you've heard thread are you? If so, there's probably a lotion.

[da_nang]

I used to believe déjà vus weren't real...

I KNOW HOW THIS ENDS

[Roundabout Lout]

I was at a diner with a few friends, telling a story about how some girl threw a hissy fit at a party, and threw water out of her glass, straight up, soaking my ceiling.

Well, they didn't get from the story how she soaked my ceiling, so I stupidly decided to demonstrate with my glass of water. I truly thought that it was empty 

That moment happened in super slow motion. The water went up, hung for a second, then fell, right on top of my own head. No one else got wet... at all. Cue laughter, and my face turning bright red.

Ah, good times.

[Durin Stronginthearm]

When I was about 7, I read an article in a magazine or somewhere that used the words "homosexual" and "transsexual" without explaining what they meant. I knew what "homosexual" meant, and I put 2+2 together to make "transsexual" mean "straight". I then told all my friends, so for about a year there were all these 7/8 year old boys at my school proudly declaring they were transsexual, until an adult found it and had a talk with us. Boy, was my face red.

[Flying Dice]

When I was about 7, I read an article in a magazine or somewhere that used the words "homosexual" and "transsexual" without explaining what they meant. I knew what "homosexual" meant, and I put 2+2 together to make "transsexual" mean "straight". I then told all my friends, so for about a year there were all these 7/8 year old boys at my school proudly declaring they were transsexual, until an adult found it and had a talk with us. Boy, was my face red.

You didn't realize it at the time, but you were a master troll in elementary school.

[kaenneth]

That my kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Rogers was Mr. Rogers' (the famous one) wife.

[Sonlirain]

I believed that Dwarf Fortress was a hoax malware that will damage/destroy your PC upon starting/downloading (the ascii screenshots didn't really help me think otherwise).

[Kadzar]

Kadzar, your not the guy Seraphim342 ran into on the simarly titled amazingly stupid things you've heard thread are you? If so, there's probably a lotion.

No, I've never been on a ship.

That my kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Rogers was Mr. Rogers' (the famous one) wife.

That reminds me, my parents used to have some tapes by a singer named Annette. My grandmother has a similar name to that, so there was a stretch of time when I believed my grandmother was once as semi-famous singer.

[Ricky]

Stopped in to share my stupid experience.

Got my fingers caught up in a handheld egg beater on a bet saying "i bet you cant stop the beaters with your hands." I won the bet. Thank god that egg beater was so old, because if it wasn't I would've had my fingers ripped off.

Man I was stupid.

E: as for stupid things i believed, up until i was 11-12, I thought lungs functioned as balloons, being completely hollow on the inside, all that.

[Bauglir]

One time, our clothes washing machine was borked in such a way that it sprayed water directly out the back. Seeing this, I attempted to unplug it - without considering that the outlet was currently in the midst of a torrent of water. Hell of a buzzing feeling.

[Itnetlolor]

Having once been a "goody 2-shoes" nice guy, I, too, fell for the "true love"/"Someone for everyone" romance thing. Cynical ever since out of pure frustration, and want nothing to do with it ever again.

Still doesn't stop me from watching romantic comedies for the mere sake of finding ways to riff it to hell and back. My own MST3k experience; that, or I'm a masochist. Either way, I can ruin those movies as bad as I do with horror movies; purely for sport. Nobody ever wants to watch a RomCom or horror movie with me anymore.

It's worst when I actually toss in logic, legal problems within canon, and so on that these movies love getting away with. Most fun I have is starting a political equivalent-level apocalypse with everyone watching a movie when I reveal double-standards done by the female leads or toss in common decency that could have resolves a RomCom conundrum in a heartbeat and a potential happy ending (half of them with both leads being happier single).

Stuff's like tinkering a nuclear reactor with a hammer.

I hold a similar theme with friends ("Friends stick together"; fell for that one too), or anything friendship associated. I'm purely for associates, strict standards for friends, and have impossible standards for true companionship/nakamas, TBH. I don't even bother remembering names, unless I am working with someone, then it's necessary. I guess if the first statement is to be considered, I am like this out of frustration as well, and having witnessed too many cases of unreliable friendship where my siblings' friends are concerned. I don't want the hassle. Plus, old friends since elementary school still love introducing me to new people with humiliating incidents from my past; didn't help that I learned over time that they may have been colluding with my schoolyard bully back then either (in fact, my best friend out-ranked my bully in the social ladder, meaning he could push my attacker around (he told me so himself), and nothing was done to help me at all; in fact, I worry that my bully was his attack dog, allowing my best friend to attack me by proxy, while he played the friend card in front of me; kids are evil.). Simply put, my so-called friends were such assholes, I disavowed them from friendship when adulthood rolled around, and drank the hardest alcohol to clean sweep my brain for a fresh start. Ironically, my memory sucked as a child (to retard levels; in one ear, out the other), nowadays, they're impossible to remove, even with the hardest substances I can come across. I can be drunk, and high, simultaneously, and I'll still remember where I parked, and how to get home, and how to drive under the influence in a manner able to fool even the keenest observers (hint: acting tired (like operating on 2-4 hours of sleep) does wonders; symptoms look the same), otherwise, I drive well enough to be safe, and look casual for the time frame relevant.

POST NOTE:
I don't condone drunk driving, or driving under the influence of any drugs. I took the time to practice this skill, and know how to operate well enough to get myself back safely. I don't do this often, but in case I need to, I have the skill.

[Seraphim342]

Kadzar, your not the guy Seraphim342 ran into on the simarly titled amazingly stupid things you've heard thread are you? If so, there's probably a lotion.

Lol, his post is actually what reminded me of that particular incident XD 

[Flying Dice]

Actually, I have quite a bit to contribute to this. I'll start with one of the more memorable ones.

When I was around nine or ten years old, I was hanging out with a few of my friends at one of their houses. His parents were divorced, and his father pretty much let him do whatever he wanted, didn't supervise us, etc. You know, the perfect environment for young boys. So they had recently moved into a new house, and were fixing the place up. Among other things, this meant that there were some exposed (and live, connected to the house current) electrical outlets, as well as some tools laying around.

Well then, my friends being who they were, they bet me five dollars that I wouldn't take a pair of needlenose pliers and close them on the contacts of one of those electrical outlets. Me being who I was, I naturally took them up on it. Imagine if you will four boys clustered around a (for us) chest-level electrical outlet in a small hallway. I close the pliers and we were showered with a blinding spray of sparks.

Luckily for me, the pliers had rubber grips. Luckily for my friends, they had five dollars on them.


There were an assortment of other incidents, involving fire, mistaking vodka for water, lots more fire, a broken door, a construction site, fire, roman candles, an overcrowded Jeep, and still more fire.

Strangely enough, the thing that left me with the worst scar was completely not my fault (or anyone's, unless you count failed brakes and a mountain as people). I sort of regret it eventually going away, because it was fucking awesome and smack dab in the middle of my face.