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[scapheap]

ASSIMILATE LITTLE BOY (SOMEHOW)

[GreatWyrmGold]

If he's still alive when this action is taken, turn the little boy into a demonslaying cyborg and add his pies to the chainsaw launcher as an underbarrel attachment.
If he isn't, incorporate what's left of the boy and his pies into the chainsaw launcher.

If this works, the chainsaw launcher will have:
Projectile chainsaws
Alt-fire extinguisher
Axe-bayonet
Underbarrel pie launcher
Maybe a necromantic AI

Anything I missed?

[Weirdsound]

Provide little boy with fireman helmet.

Use the power of a child's innocence to conveniently seal away the costume-demon until Christmas. We can't fight the boss now. That would be like opening our presents early.

[The Darkling Wolf]

If he's still alive when this action is taken, turn the little boy into a demonslaying cyborg and add his pies to the chainsaw launcher as an underbarrel attachment.
If he isn't, incorporate what's left of the boy and his pies into the chainsaw launcher.

If this works, the chainsaw launcher will have:
Projectile chainsaws
Alt-fire extinguisher
Axe-bayonet
Underbarrel pie launcher
Maybe a necromantic AI

Anything I missed?

I think they're snowballs, not pies.

[GreatWyrmGold]

In what universe do snowballs go "splotch?"

[scapheap]

The ones with wet snow.

[Hubris Incalculable]

Name little boy "Damian"

[The Darkling Wolf]

But not Damion.

[Phantom of The Library]

>Save our soon-to-be sidekick!  Fire chainsaw launcher with wild abandon in the general direction of the demon!

[GreatWyrmGold]

Those seem incompatible...

[Sheb]

Nah, use the snowballs to block the daemon's railgun and then find a way to block him from doing more harm until it can become really more awesome. Like cutting him into pieces with a chainsaw rocket launcher.

[GreatWyrmGold]

To have a chainsaw rocket launcher, we would need rockets.

...

Finding a microphone would be nice, too.

[Lovechild]

>Recruit as sidekick
>Open fire. There's no such thing as friendly fire. (Nor overkill)

>Save our soon-to-be sidekick!  Fire chainsaw launcher with wild abandon in the general direction of the demon!

Nah, use the snowballs to block the daemon's railgun and then find a way to block him from doing more harm until it can become really more awesome. Like cutting him into pieces with a chainsaw rocket launcher.

"Hey kid, wanna be my sidekick?"

"Sure thing, mister!"



"Great. NOW EAT CHAINSAW, DEMON! AND SNOWBALL!"



The demon effortlessly blocks your attacks with its shield. Why are you so good at building?

Throw little boy at demon.

Provide little boy with fireman helmet.

Use the power of a child's innocence to conveniently seal away the costume-demon until Christmas. We can't fight the boss now. That would be like opening our presents early.

If a chainsaw doesn't work, maybe a boy will.



"THIS CHILD IS SO SWEET AND INNOCENT..."



"I AM NOT NEEDED HERE."





The demon is gone... for now.

ASSIMILATE LITTLE BOY (SOMEHOW)

"Mommy said I'm not allowed to get assimilated by strangers..."

If he's still alive when this action is taken, turn the little boy into a demonslaying cyborg and add his pies to the chainsaw launcher as an underbarrel attachment.
If he isn't, incorporate what's left of the boy and his pies into the chainsaw launcher.

If this works, the chainsaw launcher will have:
Projectile chainsaws
Alt-fire extinguisher
Axe-bayonet
Underbarrel pie launcher
Maybe a necromantic AI

Anything I missed?

I think they're snowballs, not pies.

Name little boy "Damian"

"All right, Damian - "

"My name's not Damian, mister."

"Well now it is. It's time to turn you into a demonslaying cyborg."

"I am a cyborg already, mister."

"What? Really?"

"Yes mister. I used to be a cripple until last Christmas, when my dad's boss became real generous all of a sudden and gave us money for cyborg surgery. Under my gloves are robot hands!"

"Huh."

In what universe do snowballs go "splotch?"

"In this universe, mister. Observe!"



SPLOTCH!



As the snow clears, you see today's gift: A Remote Controlled Toy Firetruck and a Remote Controller.

>_

[Lovechild]

To have a chainsaw rocket launcher, we would need rockets.

...

Finding a microphone would be nice, too.

Ninja'd by this post. Post it again if the suggestion still stands.

[The Darkling Wolf]

Attach remote to vehicle, thus rendering it pointlessly remote.