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Author Topic: YOU ARE LAWYER. ONE WORLD DOWN, ONE TO GO!  (Read 26360 times)

LordSlowpoke

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Re: YOU ARE LAWYER STUCK WITHIN INTERPLANITARY WAR WITH ALIENS HUMANS AND DEMONS
« Reply #180 on: November 29, 2012, 10:03:12 am »

Rewrite laws of physics so all guns are Heavenguns.

MOONWALK OUT OF CUSTODY

SHOOT GWG IN FACE
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borno

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Re: YOU ARE LAWYER STUCK WITHIN INTERPLANITARY WAR WITH ALIENS HUMANS AND DEMONS
« Reply #181 on: November 30, 2012, 04:11:55 am »

Now that everyone is captivated with the story, HELP MISKO HAVE HIS DREAM WEDDING!
[5] YOU ALL WORK HARD TO FIX THE WEDDING, AND GET IT DONE!
"Well, bye then."

WALK AWAY, BACK UP TO HEAVEN, SHOVING ANGELS OUT OF MY WAY AND-


Quote


"GIMME YO POWER, BITCH."

IF FAIL, SHOOT HIM. WITH A HEAVEN GUN. MEANING THE GUN WORKS.
[5] YOU WALK UP ABSOLUTELY PERFECTLY, AND DON'T EVEN NEED TO SHOVE THE ANGELS OUT OF YOUR WAY, BECAUSE THEY RUN AWAY AT THE SIGHT OF YOU ANYWAY.
[4+1] HE WHIMPERS, AND AGREES TO GIVE YOU ALL HIS POWER IF YOU JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE.
:'(
...
Hmm.
...
 >:(
>Punch Out Corai.
> Finish fixing wedding.
> Cheer up Fauna, saying we're almost there.
>Begin Ceremonies.

[6V4+1][2] YOU RAP HIM ON THE SHOULDER, BUT DON'T ACTUALLY PUNCH HIM. I MEAN, HE'S GOD!
[1+1] YOU DON'T REALLY HELP THAT MUCH, BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO BUSY THINKING ABOUT HOW CASSANDRA WAS ACTUALLY THE RANDOM JERK.
[1] FAUNA RUNS AWAY, FOR SOME REASON.
[6] YOU BEGIN THE WEDDING CEREMONIES WITHOUT HER, AND EVENTUALLY SHE COMES BACK TO COMPLETE THEM WITH YOU. BY NOW THOUGH, THE WEDDING HAS ATTRACTED WORLD-WIDE ATTENTION. SUDDENLY, A ROBBER SHOWS UP WITH A GUN!
[1V5][1] HE SHOOTS HIMSELF IN THE HEAD WITH IT, AFTER CONFESSING HIS UNDYING LOVE TO FAUNA. OUCH!
>SQUISH CORAI UNDER MY THUMB LIKE A BUG.

>THEN 'DISCIPLINE' MY HAREM.
[5+1V6+1][1+1V3+1] YOU HAVE A GIANT BATTLE. NEEDLESS TO SAY IT HAS A LOT OF LASERS AND STUFF. IT WAS REALLY EPIC.
[5] YOUR HAREM IS NOW 'DISCIPLINED', AND NOW YOU HAVE MANY BABY UNIVERSES.
Change personal title to "Guy Who Gets In the Way"

Crash misko's wedding

Defend Yoink's harem

[5+1] YOU CHANGE YOUR TITLE TO 'GUY WHO GETS IN THE DOUBLE WAY'
PEOPLE ATTACK YOU BECAUSE THEY THINK YOUR NAME SUCKS!
[6V3][6V4][4] YOU KILL THEM ALL, AHAHAHAHA
[3+1V3][2] YOU CRASH THE WEDDING, BUT END UP GIVING PRESENTS TO THE COUPLE. NAMELY, YOUR PEN AND BRIEFCASE.
[2V6][3V3] YOINK SAYS NO
Nuke everything.
[2] YOU REALISE THAT YOU FORGOT TO PACK THE NUKES. DAMN IT!
Rewrite laws of physics so all guns are Heavenguns.
[2] YOU FAIL TO DO SO, AND IN YOUR MISERY, YOU KILL YOURSELF.
Rewrite laws of physics so all guns are Heavenguns.

MOONWALK OUT OF CUSTODY

SHOOT GWG IN FACE

[1] YOU MOONWALK FURTHER INTO CUSTODY, BY CHALLENGING ONE OF THE GUARDS TO A DANCE OFF TO THE DEATH!
[5V3][2] YOU END UP LETTING HIM LIVE, BUT JUST THIS ONCE!
[3V5][5V1][1] YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THAT, SINCE HE SHOOTS HIMSELF IN THE FACE ANYWAY.



[2V5][3V2] NOOOTHING HAAAPENS
[2] THE DEMONS GET CAUGHT, ON NO!
[2V5][2] THE HUMANS TRY TO MAKE A PEACE TREATY, BUT THE DEMONS DECLINE!

MISKO27: HELPING ALIENS, WEDDING TIME!
ITEMS: PHONE x3, BRIEFCASE x3, FAUNA QUEENLORD (ENGAGED), SIZEABLE FORTUNE, PEN, LAWS OF PHYSICS, ID (JUDGE OF HELL)

TCM: WHAT IS THIS TCM YOU SPEAK OF?
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, MACHINE PISTOL, UZI, ZOMBIE GUN, ZOMBIE AK-47

GREATWYRMGOLD: RE-RE-REWRITING THE LAWS OF PHYSICS, FINALLY OUT OF HELL!
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, PEN, LAWS OF PHYSICS, $1000

CORAI: HOME FREE
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, LIFE SAVINGS, PISTOL

YOINK: BECOMING THE WOOOORLD, CREATING WWIIII
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, 1/2 SMALL FORTUNE, PEN, LAW ENFORCEMENT, UNIVERSE, HAREM

TAVIK TOTH: CREATING WWIII
ITEMS: NOTHING

LORDSLOWPOKE: MUTINY
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, YEAR'S SUPPLY OF BAGELS, HARDRIVE

CASSANDRA: BEING RANDOM JERK, TELLING STORIES, WEDDING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, POLISHED ASSKICKING GEAR, COOL SWORD

GUY WHO GETS IN THE DOUBLE WAY: CHANGING NAME
ITEMS:

SPINAL TAPER: USURPING POWER
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, GATLING GUN
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Tavik Toth

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Re: YOU ARE LAWYER STUCK WITHIN INTERPLANITARY WAR WITH ALIENS HUMANS AND DEMONS
« Reply #182 on: November 30, 2012, 07:04:33 am »

Nuke all things but me.
Then sue reality.
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: YOU ARE LAWYER STUCK WITHIN INTERPLANITARY WAR WITH ALIENS HUMANS AND DEMONS
« Reply #183 on: November 30, 2012, 07:45:30 am »

I rolled a 2, not a 1...

REWRITE LAWS OF PHYSICS SO I CAN'T DIEI.
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[GreatWyrmGold] gets a little crown. May it forever be his mark of Cain; let no one argue pointless subjects with him lest they receive the same.

ThurisLord

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Re: YOU ARE LAWYER STUCK WITHIN INTERPLANITARY WAR WITH ALIENS HUMANS AND DEMONS
« Reply #184 on: November 30, 2012, 07:54:34 am »

>ATTEMPT TO PICKPOCKET ASSKICKING GEAR AND 1 YEAR SUPPLY OF BAGELS.
>WISH THAT EVERYDAY WAS ARBOR DAY.
>BAKE AWESOME CAKE FOR WEDDING.
« Last Edit: November 30, 2012, 08:40:16 am by ThurisLord »
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[MILL_CHILD:ONLY_IF_GOOD_REASON] ...

misko27

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Re: YOU ARE LAWYER STUCK WITHIN INTERPLANITARY WAR WITH ALIENS HUMANS AND DEMONS
« Reply #185 on: November 30, 2012, 03:52:11 pm »

"Weird."
> Comfort Fauna if she needs it regarding the mad man, and move his body to a utility closet.
> Shit forgot rings, Dash out quickly leaving Cassandra up hopefully not fuck anything.
> Sue Corai for allowing Evil to exist.
>Serve food. Be Host.
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The Age of Man is over. It is the Fire's turn now

Corai

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Re: YOU ARE LAWYER STUCK WITHIN INTERPLANITARY WAR WITH ALIENS HUMANS AND DEMONS
« Reply #186 on: November 30, 2012, 08:50:43 pm »

WOW, SUCCESS.

WAIT UNTIL I HAVE ALL POWER, THEN SHOOT GOD TO MAKE SURE HE CAN'T TAKE IT BACK.
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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

Yoink

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Re: YOU ARE LAWYER STUCK WITHIN INTERPLANITARY WAR WITH ALIENS HUMANS AND DEMONS
« Reply #187 on: November 30, 2012, 09:03:12 pm »

>SQUISH CORAI UNDER MY THUMB LIKE A BUG.
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

Spinal_Taper

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Re: YOU ARE LAWYER STUCK WITHIN INTERPLANITARY WAR WITH ALIENS HUMANS AND DEMONS
« Reply #188 on: November 30, 2012, 09:07:40 pm »

Establish self as a king in the vein of Louis XIV, in which the local authorities remain unfettered, but my universal power isn't tampered with, and am thus allowed to make sweeping changes to the universe, while people don't rebel due to them being satisfied with their power. Establish GM as leader of council of Game Running.
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Cassandra

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Re: YOU ARE LAWYER STUCK WITHIN INTERPLANITARY WAR WITH ALIENS HUMANS AND DEMONS
« Reply #189 on: November 30, 2012, 09:09:46 pm »

Apply for General of Heaven. I qualify.
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Cassandra likes elves for their taste, Cobalt for it's pretty colors, and kittens for their cute intentions. She is incredibly strong, but horribly unlucky, and speaks with a rasping accent. She is white with black eyes. She likes dwarves for their hilarious intentions.

"The fuck do you mean by 'plot'"

misko27

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Re: YOU ARE LAWYER STUCK WITHIN INTERPLANITARY WAR WITH ALIENS HUMANS AND DEMONS
« Reply #190 on: December 02, 2012, 09:09:40 pm »

THIS IS A BUMP. BUMP IT UP BUMP IT UP, BUMP DOWN.
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borno

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Re: YOU ARE LAWYER STUCK WITHIN INTERPLANITARY WAR WITH ALIENS HUMANS AND DEMONS
« Reply #191 on: December 03, 2012, 01:04:24 am »

THIS IS A BUMP. BUMP IT UP BUMP IT UP, BUMP DOWN.
SIGH. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD. OH WELL
Nuke all things but me.
Then sue reality.
[3] REALLY? AHAHAHA!
YOU MANAGE TO BUY A NUKE FROM THE STORE, AND [6] STEAL THE REST. POLICE COMES AFTER YOU, AND YOU'RE ALSO IN DEBT.
[5V5] YOU DODGE HIS BULLETS.
[6V3][3] YOU SUE REALITY, AND IT DOESN'T REALLY GIVE A SHIT. I MEAN, IT IS REALITY. YOU SEND THE POLICE AT IT FOR CONTEMPT OF COURT.
[2V1][5] THEY BRING REALITY IN, WITHOUT DESTROYING IT.
I rolled a 2, not a 1...

REWRITE LAWS OF PHYSICS SO I CAN'T DIEI.
YOU DIED BECAUSE YOU ROLLED A 1 IN A FIGHT YOU DIDN'T WANT TO PARTAKE IN
OK THAT RULE SUCKS
NO MORE RANDOMLY DYING
[1] YOU REWRITE PHYSICS SO YOU WILL RANDOMLY DIE EVERYDAY
>ATTEMPT TO PICKPOCKET ASSKICKING GEAR AND 1 YEAR SUPPLY OF BAGELS.
>WISH THAT EVERYDAY WAS ARBOR DAY.
>BAKE AWESOME CAKE FOR WEDDING.
[1] YOU PICKPOCKET YOURSELF, AND GAIN A BRIEFCASE AND PEN
WAIT, HOW DOES THAT WORK
[1] YOU GET SUCKED INTO A BLACK HOLE AND YOUR BODY PARTS GO FLYING EVERYWHERE
[2] YOU THINK THAT AS A DEAD PERSON YOU CAN MAKE YOUR WISHES AND STUFF COME TRUE, BUT SADLY THAT'S NOT THE CASE.
[6] CAKE IS SO AWESOME, CASSANDRA TRIES TO EAT IT IN HER RANDOM JERK DISGUISE
[4V3][2] YOU SAY NO. SHE TAKES A FEW SLICES ANYWAY. JERK!
"Weird."
> Comfort Fauna if she needs it regarding the mad man, and move his body to a utility closet.
> Shit forgot rings, Dash out quickly leaving Cassandra up hopefully not fuck anything.
> Sue Corai for allowing Evil to exist.
>Serve food. Be Host.
[3] SHE THINKS THAT YOU'RE TREATING HER LIKE A BABY. SHE SAYS THAT THIS HAPPENS ALL THE TIME
[1] YOU PUT YOUR OWN BODY INTO A UTILITY CLOSET, AND [5] FIND A DIAMOND RING! OH YEAH! [3] YOU THEN REALISE THAT YOU LOCKED THE DOOR ON YOUR WAY IN, BUT YOU SHOULD HAVE YOUR KEY SOMEWHERE
[2V5][6V5][1] YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY, AS HE SUES HIMSELF AND GIVES YOU ALL HIS STUFF.
[2] STILL STUCK IN CLOSET
WOW, SUCCESS.

WAIT UNTIL I HAVE ALL POWER, THEN SHOOT GOD TO MAKE SURE HE CAN'T TAKE IT BACK.

[5] YOU HAVE ALL THE POWER, SO YOU MATERIALIZE A PISTOL AND [5+1V6] TRY TO SHOOT HIM, BUT GUNS DON'T WORK IN HEAVEN. WONDER WHY HE WAS SO SCARED OF A GUN IN THE FIRST PLACE.
>SQUISH CORAI UNDER MY THUMB LIKE A BUG.
[2+1V4+1][[3+1V2+1][4] HE SQUASHES YOU LIKE A BUG. OH NO!
Establish self as a king in the vein of Louis XIV, in which the local authorities remain unfettered, but my universal power isn't tampered with, and am thus allowed to make sweeping changes to the universe, while people don't rebel due to them being satisfied with their power. Establish GM as leader of council of Game Running.
[3+1] GM IS IN COUNCIL NOW. YAY!
Apply for General of Heaven. I qualify.
[2] WOAH WOAH WOAH, YOU CAN'T JUST START AT THE TOP LIKE THAT! SO INSTEAD YOU APPLY AS THE GENERAL OF FLOOR-SCRUBBING. [5] YOU GAIN IT, AND QUICKLY RISE THROUGH THE RANKS TO GENERAL OF HEAVEN.



[2V5][6V5][6] THE HUMANS JUST NUKE EVERYTHING, BEFORE TAVIK DOES.
EVERYTHING IS NOW WASTELAND
[4] DEMONS FEED, LIKE ALWAYS, AND GAIN MORE POWER. SOMEONE SHOULD REALLY KEEP THESE THINGS UNDER CONTROL.

GM ALSO DECIDES THAT THE ONLY +/-1 MODIFIER RULE IS STUPID, AND ONLY HAPPENED BECAUSE OF A BAD ROLE. LET THE MODIFIERS BE FREE!

MISKO27: HELPING ALIENS, WEDDING TIME!
ITEMS: PHONE x4!, BRIEFCASE x4!, FAUNA QUEENLORD (ENGAGED), SIZEABLE FORTUNE, LIFE SAVINGS, PEN, LAWS OF PHYSICS, PISTOL, ID (JUDGE OF HELL)

TCM: WHAT IS THIS TCM YOU SPEAK OF?
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, MACHINE PISTOL, UZI, ZOMBIE GUN, ZOMBIE AK-47

GREATWYRMGOLD: RE-RE-REWRITING THE LAWS OF PHYSICS, FINALLY OUT OF HELL!
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, PEN, LAWS OF PHYSICS, $1000

CORAI: GIVING STUFF AWAY
ITEMS: HOLY PISTOL

YOINK: BECOMING THE WOOOORLD, CREATING WWIIII
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, 1/2 SMALL FORTUNE, PEN, LAW ENFORCEMENT, UNIVERSE, HAREM

TAVIK TOTH: CREATING WWIII
ITEMS: NOTHING

LORDSLOWPOKE: MUTINY
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, YEAR'S SUPPLY OF BAGELS, HARDRIVE

CASSANDRA: BEING RANDOM JERK, TELLING STORIES, WEDDING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, POLISHED ASSKICKING GEAR, COOL SWORD, SOME CAKE

GUY WHO GETS IN THE DOUBLE WAY: CHANGING NAME
ITEMS:

SPINAL TAPER: USURPING POWER
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, GATLING GUN

THURISLORD: MAKING CAKE, CREATING PARADOXES
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, SOME CAKE
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Cassandra

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Re: YOU ARE LAWYER STUCK WITHIN INTERPLANITARY WAR WITH ALIENS HUMANS AND DEMONS
« Reply #192 on: December 03, 2012, 01:10:36 am »

Gather new, General Asskicking Gear, fit for an archangel. And a bonus to match, of course.

Also, glare at the lock keeping Misko in the closet. Make it fucking asplode.
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Cassandra likes elves for their taste, Cobalt for it's pretty colors, and kittens for their cute intentions. She is incredibly strong, but horribly unlucky, and speaks with a rasping accent. She is white with black eyes. She likes dwarves for their hilarious intentions.

"The fuck do you mean by 'plot'"

Corai

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Re: YOU ARE LAWYER STUCK WITHIN INTERPLANITARY WAR WITH ALIENS HUMANS AND DEMONS
« Reply #193 on: December 03, 2012, 01:12:53 am »

FIREGIVE CASSANDRA A PUPPY.

USE MY HEAVEN GUN TO KILL (EX)GOD.

GAIN A +1 FOR BEING GOD, ALONG WITH A +1 FOR BEING THE GOD OF LAWYERS.


MAKE HELL NOT EXIST, CURSING ALL DEMONS AND PEOPLE IN HELL TO LIMBO.<<<This doubles as putting Misko out of a job. :D
« Last Edit: December 03, 2012, 01:24:28 am by Corai »
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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

misko27

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Re: YOU ARE LAWYER STUCK WITHIN INTERPLANITARY WAR WITH ALIENS HUMANS AND DEMONS
« Reply #194 on: December 03, 2012, 01:14:13 am »


FIRE CASSANDRA.

USE MY HEAVEN GUN TO KILL (EX)GOD.

GAIN A +1 FOR BEING GOD, ALONG WITH A +1 FOR BEING THE GOD OF LAWYERS.

OBJECTION! YOU CAN'T BE GOD OF LAWYERS! THERE ISN'T A PRECEDENT FOR THAT!
 
"Hey a ring! What was this doing here..."
>Aid cassandra's attempt to get me out of here.
>Say that as Judge of dead, I should have bonus. How many judges of the dead are there?
>Get Fauna ready to walk down aisle.
 
 
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The Age of Man is over. It is the Fire's turn now
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