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Author Topic: Roll to Messianate  (Read 23108 times)

miauw62

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #105 on: November 28, 2012, 10:17:35 am »

TELL THEM THAT WORLD WILL END IF THEY DON'T DO THIS. THEY MUST JOIN RIOT.
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.

Tavik Toth

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #106 on: November 28, 2012, 11:48:19 am »

Wait for carrier to be seaworthy.
While waiting build new church complex in america.
Raise moneys
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #107 on: November 28, 2012, 09:16:44 pm »

run more adds. try to convert more. buy radio equipment. train existing followers to use knives on those who wish to reconvert us.
[1] $2,500 lost to lawsuits. [6] Followers trained; rival cult formed.

Find whoever represents Luck, rob them.
[5] A lady at the casino has been robbed. You get a +1 bonus to future actions. Unless I forget.

PUNCH ALL THE OTHER IDOITS IN THE FACE FOR THE GOD EMPRAH! LEAD AN ARMY OF SPHESS MARHEENS TO VICTORY!
[5] Many people punched in the face. [5] Praying to the God-Emperor, a big guy in powered armor shows up to serve you! Uh-oh...

Get a spot on TV and preach my message there, hoping to obtain new recruits!
[5] You recruit 250 new recruits!

sell all but the police cars
beat up army
[4] You steal some stuff. [5-1] The army has been driven off.

Check to see if on landmass of some sort.

If so, see where I am

if not, suddenly grow gills
You seem to be in the ocean. [5-1] You grow gills!

TELL THEM THAT WORLD WILL END IF THEY DON'T DO THIS. THEY MUST JOIN RIOT.
[6] Many many people join the riot. They all start rioting. Many many many faithful killed.

Wait for carrier to be seaworthy.
While waiting build new church complex in america.
Raise moneys
[6] You have a complex church built in America and get lost. [4] Money is raised without you, but about half of the $1,200 is embezzled.
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[GreatWyrmGold] gets a little crown. May it forever be his mark of Cain; let no one argue pointless subjects with him lest they receive the same.

OREOSOME

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #108 on: November 28, 2012, 09:18:00 pm »

Make Chosen members of the Church "Ascend" to become one with Holy felines.
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Ow! How the fuck do eldritch abominations bitchslap people?
With our pimp tentacles, obviously.

Onyxjew944

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #109 on: November 28, 2012, 09:22:50 pm »

Have homeless shelter look like a proper church.
Have rabbi's convert passerby.
Send two homeless men out to beg, they're already good at it.
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Quote from: Steel Resolve
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Quote
They told me to aim higher, so we dug deeper.

mcclay

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #110 on: November 29, 2012, 12:41:14 am »

CONVERT THE SHIT OUT OF RANDOM PEOPLE AND THEIR CULTS! AND BY CONVERT I MEAN PUNCH THEM UNTIL THEY EITHER DIE OR JOIN US!
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Am I back? Its a mystery to everyone

Corai

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #111 on: November 29, 2012, 12:44:08 am »

START CULT ABOUT HAPPINESS.

PREACH THAT HAPPINESS CAN ONLY BE FOUND BY SERVING ME.


You can still join, right?
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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #112 on: November 29, 2012, 01:08:00 am »

Find least horrible-looking cult members and assign them to recruitment duty. Also mobilize many others to perform legal fundraising.
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scapheap

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #113 on: November 29, 2012, 03:33:30 am »

sells all my stuffs but the cars and church

((sells: exchanging goods for money))

Run ad for the riot
« Last Edit: November 29, 2012, 02:55:58 pm by scapheap »
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You were planning to have a 15 year old magical girl kill Witches by drinking them under the table!? It's original, at least.
Morpheus, a magic girls game

Tavik Toth

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #114 on: November 29, 2012, 06:22:40 am »

See if carrier is seaworthy now.
Sit in office at church complex.
Raise more money.
Improve public image.
Become less insane.
Convert people.
« Last Edit: November 29, 2012, 06:25:03 am by Tavik Toth »
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Yoink

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #115 on: November 29, 2012, 08:30:35 am »

WITH ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON, >SPAWN AS MEMBER OF RIVAL CULT ASEAHERU CREATED

>READ INTRODUCTORY PAMPHLET FOR GUIDANCE
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you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

tryrar

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #116 on: November 29, 2012, 01:54:34 pm »

swim to nearest landmass. Lose gills and get out of ocean. Build church
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This fort really does sit on the event horizon of madness and catastrophe
No. I suppose there are similarities, but I'm fairly certain angry birds doesn't let me charge into a battalion of knights with a car made of circular saws.

Aseaheru

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #117 on: November 29, 2012, 02:52:49 pm »

try to get out of debt. train new converts, convert more. continue running adds.
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #118 on: November 29, 2012, 06:00:55 pm »

Make Chosen members of the Church "Ascend" to become one with Holy felines.
[4] By "Ascend" you mean die, right? As noted in the OP, you're not actually the Messiah.

Have homeless shelter look like a proper church.
Have rabbi's convert passerby.
Send two homeless men out to beg, they're already good at it.
[4] By the force of your will, what's left of the homeless shelter looks like a church. [4] You hire a rabbi to convert people. [3] The hobos successfully beg. They don't get anything, but boy did they beg!

CONVERT THE SHIT OUT OF RANDOM PEOPLE AND THEIR CULTS! AND BY CONVERT I MEAN PUNCH THEM UNTIL THEY EITHER DIE OR JOIN US!
So...punch them until they either die or join us the shit out of random people and their cults?
[5] You punch many people to death and gain a dozen people who claim they're faithful.

START CULT ABOUT HAPPINESS.

PREACH THAT HAPPINESS CAN ONLY BE FOUND BY SERVING ME.


You can still join, right?
It's never too late to swindle the foolish! Just like real religions!
[3] No one believes you, despite the testimony of your hobo butler, Bob Hutler.

Find least horrible-looking cult members and assign them to recruitment duty. Also mobilize many others to perform legal fundraising.
[5] You assign a supermodel to recruitment. [6] She attracts many people, most of which don't give a rat's hindquarters about religion. [5] $50,000 in legal funds raised.

sells all my stuffs but the cars and church

((sells: exchanging goods for money))

Run ad for the riot
[3] You get a decent price. [3] Ads run; 15 recruited.

See if carrier is seaworthy now.
Sit in office at church complex.
Raise more money.
Improve public image.
Become less insane.
Convert people.
It is. [2] You can't find your office (it's a complex church, not a church complex), but [1] you manage to lose large amounts of money. Okay, only $1,000, but you only had $2 earlier. Anyways, [6] you return to being overloved; paparazzi starts following you. [6] You're painfully sane, and promptly go nuts again once you see a map of your church. [3] 5 people converted.

WITH ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON, >SPAWN AS MEMBER OF RIVAL CULT ASEAHERU CREATED

>READ INTRODUCTORY PAMPHLET FOR GUIDANCE
You glance at the packet. It seems to be written in blood.
((The theory is that everyone's playing Messiah. In practice, I have no idea what's going on either.))

swim to nearest landmass. Lose gills and get out of ocean. Build church
[3] Nearest landmass is a little island near Hawaii. [1] You grew gills on the inside of your lungs and don't want to tear them out. [3] Nevertheless, you make a neat little church underwater out of rocks and seaweed.

try to get out of debt. train new converts, convert more. continue running adds.
[6] You spare no expense to get out of debt! [1] You try to train and convert people,  but people lost interest once you sold your radio station. [1] You shout ads at people, earning $5 from Larry "The Rat" Hanson. Somehow, shouting out about how you should, quote, "Get your imported furniture cheap at Mafia Matt's store! He smuggles for savings!" lowers your life expectancy. At least the $5 will pay almost 0.05% of your hospital bill.
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Are you a GM with players who haven't posted? TheDelinquent Players Help will have Bay12 give you an action!
[GreatWyrmGold] gets a little crown. May it forever be his mark of Cain; let no one argue pointless subjects with him lest they receive the same.

Tavik Toth

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #119 on: November 29, 2012, 06:07:14 pm »

Raise lots of money.
Build large bunker aroudn church.
Find office.
convert more people.
then if all previos actions are succesful, transfer all converts to carrier and other things then sail to middile of Pacific Ocean.
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