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Author Topic: Roll to Messianate  (Read 23374 times)

Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #15 on: November 23, 2012, 05:13:44 pm »

Oh well. Convert more followers, obtain more organs, sell for more money. Create an Upgraded Cult Servitude plan, where people who convert at least fifteen other people are promoted from Organ Donor to Organ Tither. These people will do my organ harvesting for me, even though the sales part will still be up to myself alone. If anybody objects to having their organs harvested, convince them that it is the will of the LORD that they give up their useless flesh so that the spirit may soar!
« Last Edit: November 23, 2012, 05:17:40 pm by Harry Baldman »
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OREOSOME

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #16 on: November 23, 2012, 05:14:29 pm »

Begin to Make Warrior cat bodyguard army, to protect against nonbelievers and Tacgnol.
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Ow! How the fuck do eldritch abominations bitchslap people?
With our pimp tentacles, obviously.

Tavik Toth

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #17 on: November 23, 2012, 05:18:49 pm »

Make church a boat then improve public image.
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borno

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #18 on: November 23, 2012, 05:30:56 pm »

Make the Church of Money. To fund the church, pickpocket everyone while they're not looking.
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scapheap

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #19 on: November 23, 2012, 05:33:25 pm »

attack the evil ice cream trucks
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You were planning to have a 15 year old magical girl kill Witches by drinking them under the table!? It's original, at least.
Morpheus, a magic girls game

Aseaheru

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #20 on: November 23, 2012, 05:34:08 pm »

Make the Church of Money. To fund the church, pickpocket everyone while they're not looking.
do that and ill wire a mp3 player playing http://amistupidorsomething.tumblr.com/post/36238984016 directly into your brain.
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #21 on: November 23, 2012, 06:49:38 pm »

take over radio station. play it over the airwaves.
[4] People hate you more and more. Um...you're a really bad false prophet.

Oh well. Convert more followers, obtain more organs, sell for more money. Create an Upgraded Cult Servitude plan, where people who convert at least fifteen other people are promoted from Organ Donor to Organ Tither. These people will do my organ harvesting for me, even though the sales part will still be up to myself alone. If anybody objects to having their organs harvested, convince them that it is the will of the LORD that they give up their useless flesh so that the spirit may soar!
[6] Ever read Eragon? Well, your church members turn into the church of Helgrind. They wonder why you haven't tithed your flesh...

Begin to Make Warrior cat bodyguard army, to protect against nonbelievers and Tacgnol.
[3] You train a dozen attack cats. So, basically cats you've taught not to attack you.

Make church a boat then improve public image.
You don't have a church, [2] and you can't make a boat. [4] People consider you a bit less crazy.

Make the Church of Money. To fund the church, pickpocket everyone while they're not looking.
You found the Church of Money, leading the GM to request that future players please not start their cults' or whatever's names with "Church." Seriously, this is the fourth Church of Foo. Anyways, [5] you become a master thief. No one knows of you yet, but you achieve massive money. Mostly in change and fenced cell phones, but still...

attack the evil ice cream trucks
What evil ice--[5] Where did those come from? Uh, [v1] you punch the main evil ice cream truck in the "self-destruct" button, causing it to explode and destroy the rest. Your remains are sanctified.
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Sig
Are you a GM with players who haven't posted? TheDelinquent Players Help will have Bay12 give you an action!
[GreatWyrmGold] gets a little crown. May it forever be his mark of Cain; let no one argue pointless subjects with him lest they receive the same.

borno

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #22 on: November 23, 2012, 08:15:00 pm »

Ah yes, it is all going according to plan! Using the money we earned, make a huge flashy ad on the benefits of joining the Church of Money, and why you should join it today.

In the meantime, have the construction for the church itself started.
« Last Edit: November 23, 2012, 08:17:02 pm by borno »
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Aseaheru

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #23 on: November 23, 2012, 08:17:49 pm »

i think you messed up, asset wise. i AM in control of a radio station, right?

anyways:
if people join the church, tell them the way to ignore the song. tell people about the fact that it can be defeated. try to get other religions to pay to broadcast things for them.
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tryrar

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #24 on: November 23, 2012, 08:43:16 pm »

Found Prophets of the Modern-Day Saints(that is actually a well-disguised from for the Mafia) who's program consists of general feel-good messages and urgent requests for donations. Meanwhile, begin blackmailing wealthier attendants for their money and the right to use their businesses for other criminal activities
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This fort really does sit on the event horizon of madness and catastrophe
No. I suppose there are similarities, but I'm fairly certain angry birds doesn't let me charge into a battalion of knights with a car made of circular saws.

OREOSOME

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #25 on: November 23, 2012, 11:01:16 pm »

Continue Preaching the Word of Ceiling Cat!
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Ow! How the fuck do eldritch abominations bitchslap people?
With our pimp tentacles, obviously.

Aseaheru

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #26 on: November 23, 2012, 11:08:44 pm »

as to join church of ceiling cat.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #27 on: November 24, 2012, 01:27:48 am »

Tithe one of my kidneys, part of my liver and my spleen to assuage the fears and concerns of my flock. After all, can't be a hypocrite in this business. If you're a hypocrite, no one takes you seriously. After that bit of business is done, write a holy text of the Children of Christ, Organ-Thief. It shall be called the Organ Testament!
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scapheap

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #28 on: November 24, 2012, 04:46:19 am »

if dead (sound like I died) resurrect then call more followers with a battlecry
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You were planning to have a 15 year old magical girl kill Witches by drinking them under the table!? It's original, at least.
Morpheus, a magic girls game

Tavik Toth

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Re: Roll to Messianate
« Reply #29 on: November 24, 2012, 08:26:57 am »

Convert more people. Build a church. Improve public image more.
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