Pull myself together
skateboard to work
(3) YOU FALL ONTO A SKATEBOARD, A COLLECTION OF VARIOUS BODY PARTS. (1) THEN A CAR RUNS YOU OVER, CRUSHING YOUR BOARD AND FURTHER MAKING YOU INTO MUSH.
DRIVE IN MY ARMORED PIMP-MOBILE
SHOOT ROCKET AT THE TARDIS
(6vs3) YOU LEAP INTO YOUR PIMPMOBILE, RPG READY. AS SOON AS YOU PULL UP TO THE TARDIS, YOU OPEN FIRE. IT BLOWS TO PIECES AND FLIES OFF. AS IT FLIES, IT EXPANDS.
>Murder homeless people, build Car from remains.
>Use their booze as NITRO!
(3) YOU BUILD A HOMELESS HOTROD. IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT'LL WORK TOO WELL. (4) YOU POUR BLOOD INTO IT, AND IT SHUDDERS TO LIFE.
>Go into the lobby.
>Summon the TARDIS.
>Go to work's lobby one hour ago using the TARDIS.
(2) YOU GO TO THE LOBBY AND GET SHOT BY OUR RESIDENT GANGSTER.
JUST SUMMON THE DAMN DRAGON
(5) WITH A FERAL GROWL, A DRAGON COMES TO LIFE IN FRONT OF YOU. IT GLARES FOR A MOMENT BEFORE BOWING ITS HEAD, ACCEPTING YOU AS ITS MASTER.
Wait, why wasn't I this fast before I was leaving?
Besides, even if I wasn't right, I got fired. How else can I get to work?...Hm...
Start an independent video games company online. Hire myself as CEO and Head Programmer. Start working.
There!
(5) YOU START AN INDEPENDANT COMPANY AND BEGIN MAKING MONEY, AS WELL AS GAINING FANS. SOMEONE COMES TO YOU. IT'S A GIRL, AN EXPIRIENCED PROGRAMMED LOOKING FOR A JOB. YOU FEEL A SLIGHT AMOUNT OF WINNING POWER FROM HER.
((Either someone changed positions with you, or you like going home more than going to work.))
Switch places with Xantalos.
(3vs2) YOU MOVE SLIGHTLY CLOSER TO XANTALOS. HE'S PULLED SLIGHTLY BACKWARDS.
arrive at a different work.
(2) NOPE. YOU STAND STILL.
Keep flying, now that he's been medicated.
(5) YOU FLY ON, ARRIVING AT WORK. YOU MAKE A LANDING IN FRONT OF THE MASSIVE COMPOUND.
>Murder homeless people, build Car from remains.
>Use their booze as NITRO!
GRAB MISKO BY EAR. DRAG HIM TO WORK.
(4) YOU SNATCH MISKO AND START DRAGGING HIM TO WORK.
PUNCH XANTALOS IN HIS STUPID MOUTH. REACH INTO THE PLAYER DISTANCE STATISTICS ON THE NEXT POST AND ADD A FEW ZEROS ONTO EVERYONE'S VALUES.
(1) YOU PUNCH HIM. THE GRABOIDS GRAB YOU TOO.
MISDIERCT GUNIN SO HE ONLY ADDS 000000000000000000000000000 TO HIS STAT
BE AT WORK
(6) YOU'RE AT WORK, THEN REALIZE THE TYRANNY OF YOUR WORKPLACE, AND HEAD BACK TO THE HOSPITAL.
Spawn with a warp drive-equipped car. Turn it on and go really fast to get to work.
(2) YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO PILOT IT. (1)YOU STILL CAN'T DRIVE IT.
SWITCH TO METRIC
WARP START MOVING ALONG THE Q AXIS
(6) YOU MOVE ACROSS THE Q AXIS, FINDING YOURSELF IN ANOTHER QUARBELLECK.
Summon Dragoon. Ride it to work!
(2) YOU SUMMON A MOUNTED FIGHTER. YEAH, HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU RIDING HIM.
KILL EARTH ANYWAY
Poll
44 (80%)
Author
Topic: YOU ARE STUCK IN TRAFFIC: Christ, you buggers are clueless. (Read 162158 times)