Fix dragon button, then turn car into dragon. Flight!
(3) NOW THE DRAGON BUTTON GIVES OUT COFFEE.
PAINT SOME HAPPY LITTLE TREESTREES THAT GROW AND BUST THE CONTAINER OPEN
FLY TO WORK
(6) YOU BUST OPEN THE GHOST TRAP, BUT UH-OH! YOUR SOUL WAS BONDED TO THE ACTUAL PHYSICAL TRAP! YOU HAVE BEEN SENT TO HELL, WHERE VARIOUS DEMONS OF VARYING GENDERS GROPE YOUR VARIOUS BODY PARTS.
>FLOOR IT
>RUN DOWN GUN-WIELDING PSYCHOPATH ON WAY TO WORK
>SHOUT AT BYSTANDERS TO CALL AN AMBULANCE
ALSO >WATCH AS MADMAN'S DUAL-WIELDING ATTEMPT DRASTICALLY DECREASES HIS ACCURACY (GIVES -2 TO HIS ROLLS)
(4) YOU SLAM THE PEDAL DOWN AND FLY DOWN THE HALLWAY. THEN YOU SEE THE MADMAN. (1) YOU TURN, IN AN ATTEMPT TO RUN HIM OVER, BUT YOU SKID OUT BEFORE FLIPPING YOUR CAR!
Fire up the teleportation device in the backseat and input coordinates of workplace
(1) YOU TAKE YOUR TELEPORTATION DEVICE FROM THE BACK AND SMASH IT ON THE DASH FOR A FEW MOMENTS. THIS CAUSES IT TO EXPLODE, AS WELL AS TELEPORT YOU TO THE ANDES MOUNTAINS. AT LEAST YOU GET A VACATION.
If resulting roll is 2: Drive back home.
If resulting roll is 1: Die in a freak accident
If 3: Get out of car and walk to work.
If 4: Drive over dead guy's car.
If 5: Drive to work.
If 6: Become God.
(6) YOU'RE THE GOD OF NOT SUPPLYING AN ACTUAL ACTION.
RUN TO WORK WHILE SHOOTING AT PURSUING POLICE OFFICERS.
UPGRADE AKIMBO MINI-UZIS TO MP40.
>FLOOR IT
>RUN DOWN GUN-WIELDING PSYCHOPATH ON WAY TO WORK
>SHOUT AT BYSTANDERS TO CALL AN AMBULANCE
SHOOT AT.
(3) YOU CREEP TOWARDS WORK, (1) FIRING AT THE COPS. SADLY, TWO GUNS MAKES IT HARD TO DO ANYTHING BUT LOOK COOL. THEY, ON THE OTHERHAND, HAVE A MUCH MORE REASONABLE WEAPON SET, AND GUN YOU DOWN!
FIND BULLDOZER. ADD FLAMETHROWERS. OWN THE TRAFFIC.
(3) YOU TAKE A CHILDS TONKA BULLDOZER, THEN (5) PUT TWO HEAVY NAPALM LAUNCHERS ON IT. (4) YOU ADORABLY SCOOT THROUGH TRAFFIC IN YOUR TONKA BULLDOZER, DAMNING ALL WHO BLOCK YOU TO A SLOW DEATH BY FIRE.
DRIVE OVER CARS IN FRONT OF ME.
I'M COMMUTTING IN A MONSTER TRUCK TODAY.
(4) YOU CRUSH INNOCENT PEOPLE IN YOUR LUST FOR WORK, DRIVING YOUR (4) MONSTER TRUCK.
DISTANCE TO WORK:
YOINK:7.5 miles
SLAYER:10 miles
CORAI:9.99999999999 miles
CASSANDRA: 10 miles
GUININANRUNIN: 7.5 miles
GWG: 7.5 miles
XANTALOS: 2000000000 miles
Poll
44 (80%)
Author
Topic: YOU ARE STUCK IN TRAFFIC: Christ, you buggers are clueless. (Read 162682 times)