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[scriver]

You americans always have cool little machines like that ! We don't have any of those in France. I'm jealous. I want a beaver too !

There is an obvious joke that needs to be made here.

[Starver]

There's "coin deforming" machines here in the UK too.  Most of them that I've seen have notices on them explaining the current state of legality of doing this to coins in the UK (i.e. that it is legal, at least since the "Blah-De-Blah Coins And Currency Act of 19XX, Amendment 3", or whatever it might be).  Most of them also have (say) one position[1] for the penny to be deformed into an embossed lozenge as a memento of the museum/whatever and two for larger coins (I've seen them request to 50p (£0.50) coins!) for the privilege.

(It's usually museums, especially ones that contain mechanical "Victoriana".  Some are "pre-decimal penny" presses that rather than being converted to use newer coins (perhaps 2p pieces, being more of the right size) are supplied (sometimes internally, with different modifications) with discs of metal to approximate the old pre-1970s "1d" pieces.  For which obviously material costs need to be paid, from amongst the "presumed donation" needed for operating[2] the machines.)

((Actually, I've never actually seen a modern machine of this kind, so I might be misinterpretting the "Disney"-type machine being described above.))

Anyway, this "costs more money than the face value" outdoes (in proportion) even the Millenium Dome thing, where you could get a special-edition (legal tender, so theoretically spendable) coin for only twice the face value.


[1] Rather than a "slot", strictly, it's usually the old "place on small tray that you push in"-type, which only extracts the payment when all the requisite coins appear to be there while being presented to the internals.

[2] Some are user-powered, i.e. hand cranked by the payee, others are wired up.

[Akura]

And so started the third world war. China promptly chastised the dissident territory and brought it back into the harmony of the People's Republic.

businesses have to accept it as legal tender if there is more than 50% left of the bill.

That's totally false.  Businesses are required to refuse any currency that they believe is not real, and to call the police.  If you hand them a mildly damaged bill, expect them to accept it.  A severely damaged bill and they'll ask you to take it to a bank.  A tampered looking bill, like the suggestion above to tape parts of many bills together?  That's very refusable.

And in most cases, they'll check large bills for counterfeiting anyway, usually holding it up to a light to see the security strip inside. The store I work has a marker pen by the register that checks if the ink is real, as well.

Similarly, do not paint a moustache on the king of Thailand on their bills.

Tempted to sig that.

What if it's a large, handlebar mustache? Those are kingly.

[Helgoland]

Behold - the Emperor! (Also probably the second biggest douchebag in German history.)

[Starver]

(Also probably the second biggest douchebag in German history.)

Behind David Hasselhoff*, you mean?


* This joke notwithstanding, the poster neither implies nor assumes that David Hasselhoff is a douchebag.  In fact he quite liked him in Knight Rider, and had no particular view of him in Baywatch.  His 'pop career' since then is an interesting diversion that has completely passed this poster by except as in a "he done what!?!" sense, and the image of him standing on top of Der Mauer looked funky enough, but for some reason is the sound is unmemorable.  Your home is at risk if you do not keep up repayments.  Please check all parcels are sealed before signing for them.  There are no active ingredients in this homeopathic remedy.  There are no homeopathic ingredients in this active remedy.  Contains no chemicals.  Contains no forms of matter at all.  Not tested on animals or people or snowmen.  Tested on statisticians.  Your investments may go down as well as up.  Your mineshafts may go up as well as down.    E&OE.  HTH.  HAND.

[zombie urist]

And it only applies to bills, not coins, which are perfectly okay to destroy.

I thought it was illegal to destroy coins because the metals used to mint them cost more than the actual cost.

Considering a popular summer past-time in the US is dumping coins into the Coin Destructo-matic Picture Maker machines, that seems... unlikely.

People always told me that using those machines were illegal, but no one cared enough to do anything about it. 

[Helgoland]

Contains no forms of matter at all.

My dad's a physicist, so it really cracked him up when in Star Trek they said they were cleaning the ship of "hadronic matter"

[Agdune]

Aah... when I saw the "so I killed a $20 bill..." on the forums' 'recent posts' thing, I honestly hoped it was "So I killed a $20 billion dollar bird" ('cause y'know, it truncates after a few characters).

I don't know what bird would be worth $20 billion, I just hoped I'd see it once in my life.

edit:

My dad's a physicist, so it really cracked him up when in Star Trek they said they were cleaning the ship of "hadronic matter"

Aaah, but we don't know what space-matter runs the inertial dampeners or allows those sensors to be so damn specific, do we? Who's gonna have the last laugh when Hadronic matter is discovered in the far-flung future of the 24th century, eh? eh? It'll probably be somewhere awesome too, like it's only found in fish oil that's been subjected to the power of 20,000 car batteries, but no-one's particularly sure what it is about the combination of those two elements which causes it to form, or why it has to be such a specific number of batteries or such a specific application of battery power. Some say space-ghosts, some say car enthusiast ghosts. Still others say fish ghosts. But your dad? He'll say 'I was wrong to laugh at the visionary technobabble of Star Trek'.

Mmmm-hmm.

[misko27]

From what I know of US law, as long as more then 50% is intact, it's still good. If you send it down to the treasury department, they'll send you a new one.

Can you identify the serial number? What numbers CAN you identify?

[Helgoland]

Mmmm-hmm.

The joke being that all matter around us is hadronic matter; they were cleaning the ship of itself

[Agdune]

...ah. Also got a PM about that too.

...I don't understand many of the words. Tetra...quark... bundles? Leptons?

...I'm gonna go back to my psychology, where I'm at least mostly familiar with the terminology

[Yoink]

You americans always have cool little machines like that ! We don't have any of those in France. I'm jealous. I want a beaver too !

Paying for beaver? I thought France was, like, the capital of the world for that kind of thing. 

[Helgoland]

...I'm gonna go back to my psychology, where I'm at least mostly familiar with the terminology

You study psych? Cool

[Yoink]

You americans always have cool little machines like that ! We don't have any of those in France. I'm jealous. I want a beaver too !

Paying for beaver? I thought France was, like, the capital of the world for that kind of thing. 

Also, beavers tend to like wood.

So you put a coin into a slot and then put your wood into a beaver?
Sounds terribly complicated if you ask me. I think I shall stick to palms.

[IronTomato]

You americans always have cool little machines like that ! We don't have any of those in France. I'm jealous. I want a beaver too !

Paying for beaver? I thought France was, like, the capital of the world for that kind of thing. 

Also, beavers tend to like wood.

So you put a coin into a slot and then put your wood into a beaver?
Sounds terribly complicated if you ask me. I think I shall stick to palms.

This deserves to be sigged.