Downloading save now. As slowly as DFFD will let me.
I fully expect to die horribly in a pool of blood and guts.
I am a prophet.
Second Journal of Sibrek Datanost
12th Galena, 116
I was just getting used to that lot of adventurers I fell in with when we got ambushed by bandits. They beat me blind, killed everyone else, and took all our gear, including my old journal and notes. Today I found myself in a town nearby, where I nabbed a wee bit of gear and this empty book from the guards' armory before heading off again. Hopefully they won't notice, but then again it's unlikely news of my theft will reach this next village before I do.
To make sure I don't forget this; When I joined that gang of "adventurers" they were down south in the foothills of my old mountain hall. Said they wanted to get themselves into that "Heroes' hall" called Releasedsouls, not far from my hometown. I was a nobody and my family hated my guts, so I decided to travel with them when they offered. They needed to prove their skills, though, and bring home an artifact. They had heard legends of some great treasure in a place "In the Icy North, where the Skelks lie" and we all left, thinking that'd be the best adventure yet. I dunno what I was thinking. The journey was pretty long and dangerous, but these guys used me as a packmule more than anything. I got a bit of fighting experience out of it, mostly in using the shield they gave me, but I'm still no warrior like those kids was.
Last night, I lost 'em all, and now I'm abandoned here, alone, in Kneadsabres, with no backup and no map to make me way home. I mean, if I travel south there's almost no way I could avoid the mountain range we was living in, but I can't make it alone. There be bogeymen, I been told. Not to mention goblins, those damnable bandits, all manner of night trolls, rabid animals, and innumerable other things I probably never even heard of. I'm gonna try to find someone interested in travelling south with me.
13th Galena, 116
No such luck finding a companion in town. All the warrior types say I gotta prove my worth by killing one of the things troubling them. Strangely, they couldn't think of anything at all fitting that description. Then they idly mentioned a kobold criminal hanging out in an old night troll den to the north of town. I went up there, and killed him. Boxed him in with a fire, and tossed my dagger at him. He passed out, and I slit his throat. That was the end of the crazy bastard, but the townsfolk said it's still not that impressive to kill a kobold. So I was left to sleep outside in the fields. Then it happened:
Bogeymen! Just like the stories told, all deformed and hideous and cackling! They came after me before I could even get moving proper and they all started swinging. It was all I could do to hide behind my shield and pray, trying to make it into the house nearby. I stumbled head over heels, but most of the buggers ran off somewhere, and the one still chasing me couldn't get past my shield either. I made it inside, and soon the cackling faded.
This mornig, I found out what distracted the bogeymen; there had been a child outside that night, playing in the fields. I couldn't even hear his screams over the cackling, but he was lying there in the fields, torn to little bits and dead as a stump. The townsfolk pinned it all on me, though. Strangers is always at fault for what the locals do, dont you know? Kid should have believed his parnts when THEY told him not to play alone at night. And whad'ya know, the bogeymen got him!
Regardless, I got ran out of town. I ran to the south-east, towards some other villages all parked on the same river system. It's nearing nightfall now, and nothing interesting been happening while I travel.
14th Galena, 116
Last night I spent the night in a house, after begging like nobody's business. The townsfolk here are as stubburn as any other north humans, and they don't like dwarves. Say I got a stupid accent and bad grammar, among other things. Not that a southern dwarf's accent would make any more sense than their stupid human speech. I'm lucky I even learned the right language growing up, or else I'd have to speak dwarven, and that'd get me nowhere. I need some booze, but these humans only drink water! I'm going straight south from this village, as I'm nearing the sea. The Blind Water, they call it. There's a town nearly a day's travel south from here called Buttonactions. I don't want to get jumped by bogeymen in the night.
Late afternoon;
I was jumped by a goblin patrol right after lunch. Two of the bastards. They were nearly as good as I am with their shields. Or maybe I'm just terrible with my sword. I don't even know how I did it, but I got the upper hand and killed them both. Took their armor, too.I've made it to town, and I'm bloody exhausted. These humans were a bit more friendly, or maybe just understanding of how remote they are and how difficult it is to get here alive, and they let me sleep in a cabin for the night.
15th Galena, 116
This morning I actually found a companion! A pikewoman named Vicu, who said she used to be an adventurer and would like another go at it. She's old enough to have a bit of gray in her hair, and not much of a looker, even for a human. I'd guess maybe around 40, but I understand humans don't like to be asked about their age. Touchy about living only half as long as even a kobold, I guess.
We set off further south, and we're heading for a major town nearby. Maybe it'll have some merchant caravans or something who know the way to the next-nearest civilization.
Late Afternoon;
We made it into town, and were immediately pointed to a bandit gang who needed a right good arse kicking. We did so; took out the bitch and her four pals in the catacombs under the local temple. Vuca was badly injured, though. She'll never walk again, and lost an arm. Swordsman did some terrible things to her. I reported our victory to the local guard captain. They had a big ceremony and gave me a warrior title! Called me "The Satin of Frigidity." And there was booze, too! All in a lovely pitchblende castle, where a few other local warriors opted to join me on my trek south. Vuca, however, opted to stay behind, and retire permanently. I'm surprised she didn't want to set herself on fire throw herself off the tower, as any sane dwarf would have done.
16th Galena, 116
Set out to the west along the roads. The road eventually curves southward, and should take me halfway home safely.
The rest of the text is rude scribblings of sexually explicit content, including a dwarf and several humans being raped and butchered, accompanied by crude goblin symbols, relating to the local goblin civilization, "The Dread of Comets." You found it in a clearing along the roadside, surrounded by bones.
My damn iron helmet kept me going for gods know how long while I was unconscious. The goblins had a hell of a time killing me, but one of the pikemen finally drove her silver pike right through the helm and into my skull, somehow.
Also, the entire time I was distracted horribly by the sounds of our cats trying to have sex. The male is fixed, but apparently he grieves for his lost testicles. Little Tinker Bell won't shut her damn mouth, though.
So, maybe I'll build a fort? I don't think there's much hope for my surviving to reach Releasedsouls.
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Topic: [Succession] Adventurer's Retirement home II: Now with 20% more cursed pants! (Read 16406 times)