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[Reelya]

I really like that one!

So I was catching up in a webcomic, and found the following in the top of the comment section.

You are a language criminal. And you belong in word jail. >[

“word jail”

I hear they really watch their language there.
I hear they keep to a really punctual schedule there.
I hear the sentences they give out really run on.
I hear you have to be careful with your attitude, or the guards will leave you dealing with a com(m)a.
I hear they keep trying to imprison Larry Bird. Y’know, ’cause Bird is the word.
I hear that the only thing they serve in the prison is alphabet soup.
I hear..

Edit: From https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2014/01/24/sagacity

Word Jail, to me, implies a jail for actual words. "We've got you now, 'sheeple'. You'll do fifty years for your crimes."

Word Jail puts a full stop on your life, period.
When entering Word Jail they check you haven't smuggled anything up your colon.
The wardens at Word Jail read every letter before it's allowed in.
In Word Jail they really throw the book at you.
Language criminals can be sentenced to capital punishment.
Word Jail is literally and figuratively the worst.

[martinuzz]

Damn, that was some great kebab with extra pommes frites. I am about as full and bloated as an Ethiopian guy that just accidentally swallowed his chewing gum.

[AzyWng]

What do you call it when the IT guy kicks someone in single combat?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A Duel Boot.

[Hanslanda]

Well I'm going to probably offend someone with this but I made it up and it must be shared.

Spoiler: Graphic! (click to show/hide)

What's the worst time to find out your girlfriend is pregnant?

At her autopsy.

[Kagus]

Well I'm going to probably offend someone with this but I made it up and it must be shared.

Spoiler: Graphic! (click to show/hide)

What's the worst time to find out your girlfriend is pregnant?

At her autopsy.

Your assumption was correct. I'll have you know that a great many Bay Watchers are deeply offended by graphic content, hence their love for Dwarf Fortress.

[Hanslanda]

 

[Ziusudra]

I'm offended that that is not so much a terrible joke as a anti-joke.

[NJW2000]

I'd say it's more of a Way Too Grim style joke than an anti-joke, but it works as both.

[Hanslanda]

I'd say it's more of a Way Too Grim style joke than an anti-joke, but it works as both.

I thought it was a Dark joke but I could have been underestimating it

[hector13]

Jeff visited the same confectionery every day after work, purchasing the same snowball each time, a sweet cream-filled pastry covered in shaved coconut. Each day the proprietor greeted him with the same friendly smile and nod, as he reached behind the same pristine unblemished counter to provide Jeff with his afternoon snack.

One day Jeff noticed a small poster on the window as he entered, shaking him from his automatic pilot reverie. A local boxer was offering to allow people to hit him for charity. He was raising money for a support group for veterans failed by the state. The event was to happen the very next day, during his daily sojourn for his sugary goodness.

The day game, and he saw what must be the stall for the generous pugilist. There was presently nobody kind enough, perhaps sadistic enough to assault the kindly-looking man for altruistic purposes. Once more shaken from his near fugue state by a sudden change to his daily routine, he engaged the candyman in conversation.

“How well has the young man done, collecting funds for the lonely veterans by allowing people to punch him?”

It was then that the sweet shop owner ruined the rest of his day:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

”There was never a punchline.”

[Rolan7]

Except right in the feels...

[Kagus]

Someone keeps leaving envelopes with threatening pictures of Samuel L. Jackson in my mailbox.

I think I'm being blackmailed.


The FBI provided me with a fake door as part of the Jehovah's Witness Protection program.


I scraped my knee up pretty badly a few days ago, but I used an old traditional cure of spreading margarine on the wound before letting it heal.

I can't believe it's not better.

[TheBeardyMan]

Why were the recovering alcoholics all standing on their chairs at the AA meeting?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

THE FLOOR IS LAGER!

[Hanslanda]

I was on a date earlier. We got naughty but she kept forgetting my name wasn't 'help' or 'stop'.

[KittyTac]

There are no jokes about Yttrium here.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Y?