Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[redwallzyl]

these are some of the oldest recorded jokes. handle with care.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

In your mouth and your teeth, constantly stared at you, the measuring vessel of your lord. What is it?

Beer.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The deflowered girl did not become pregnant. The undeflowered girl became pregnant. What is it?

Auxiliary forces.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

He gouged out the eye. It is not the fate of a dead man. He cut the throat: A dead man. Who is it?

A governor.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

of your mother is by the one who has intercourse with her. What/who is it?

the answer is unfortunately lost to time

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Something which has never occurred since time immemorial - a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap.

[Egan_BW]

You walk into the corner store and see a small scale beside the register. What is it for?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It's a counterweight.

[AzyWng]

Chinese-English pun here:

What word can be used to describe someone who can be easily convinced that they've had enough?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

That person is 够了-ble.

[Max™]

Did I ever mention to you folks that back in high school I actually held the national record for most tackles, sacked qb's, and returned fumbles in a single game?

...course, as we were playing baseball they didn't let me play anymore after that, still don't know why they got so mad, I mean, when I tackled Mrs. Kerlig as she was getting a quiz ready, grabbed it and shouted "FUMBLE!" then ran to the other end of the school, I see now how that might have been inappropriate.

But come on, baseball has the word "ball" right there in the name! That means it is an inferior member of the set of -ball games, so it is perfectly likely that there exists a function which maps rules from a superior member of the set back to a lesser one, it's just math dammit!

[Helgoland]

I think you may be using the axiom of choice there, which in a school is not necessarily appropriate.

[Max™]

Nice job playing off my terrible joke, ha ha ha, teamwork!

[redwallzyl]

What did Genghis say to thoes who said he couldn't conquer the world.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yes we Khan

[Reelya]

What did Genghis say to thoes who said he couldn't conquer the world.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yes we Khan

Ogodei never heard such a bad joke. You should aBorte this before it starts. Yuan not going to get much leverage here.

Mon, go lie down for a bit and think about what you've done.

[Arx]

Some of those puns yurt my soul.

[Starver]

Je think that to faire un better pun est Mongolia.

[Parsely]

Code: [Select]

public class lastnamefirstname_WhoAmI {
    public static void main(String[] args) {
        String joke;

        joke = "Why did the programmer cross the road? "
                + "So he could walk in front of a car "
                + "because he works 50 hours a week.";
       
        System.out.printf("BAD JOKE: %s\n", joke);
    }
}


[Bumber]

Excuse me sir, but is your refrigerator running? ... Well then, make sure it stays properly hydrated.

Excuse me sir, but do you have Prince Albert in a can? ... Well then, wait outside until he's finished with his business.

[Arx]

Excuse me sir, but is your refrigerator running? ... Well then, make sure it stays properly hydrated.

The way I know this one is:

<in a thick accent associated with tradesmen>

"Excuse me sir, is your refrigerator running?"

If you're laying the accent on thick enough, the other person will have to ask you to repeat.

"Is your refrigerator running?!"

<affirmative response>

"Well, you'd better start chasing it!"

[martinuzz]

What's another word for a muslim terrorist art exhibit?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

an explosition

[Sheb]

What's the son of a Sunni and a shiite called?

A sushi.

And what if he radicalizes?

A Wasabite