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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 716122 times)

martinuzz

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3465 on: November 06, 2016, 06:33:00 am »
Some trades are just not made for women. Like garage owner.

"Whaddaya mean sexual harassment lawsuit? I only asked the lady if I could drive my truck into her garage and fill her up?"
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

TheBiggerFish

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3466 on: November 12, 2016, 01:12:06 am »
Ooof.
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Sigtext

Quote from: Hanslanda on April 12, 2017, 09:32:01 pm
It has been determined that Trump is an average unladen swallow travelling northbound at his maximum sustainable speed of -3 Obama-cubits per second in the middle of a class 3 hurricane.

SalmonGod

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3467 on: November 12, 2016, 03:23:00 am »
Friend rubs the edge of his hand of cards on the table and his kid thinks it sounds like a fart noise. We tell him it was just the cards and he doesn't believe us.  I fail my will check vs dad humor and cry out "Do you not believe in the fart of the cards?!"
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In the land of twilight, under the moon
We dance for the idiots
As the end will come so soon
In the land of twilight

Quote from: Vector on October 06, 2011, 03:14:08 pm
Maybe people should love for the sake of loving, and not with all of these optimization conditions.

Sheb

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3468 on: November 12, 2016, 10:35:44 am »
From r/Catholicism

How do you know you just met a Byzantine Catholics?

..

He will yell you. Three times.
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Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

Helgoland

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3469 on: November 12, 2016, 10:02:44 pm »
Do explain.
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Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on December 28, 2014, 03:28:43 am
Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
Quote from: Wolfhunter107 on May 26, 2017, 08:10:14 pm
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.

martinuzz

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3470 on: November 14, 2016, 08:18:31 am »
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Sergius

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3471 on: November 21, 2016, 10:20:07 am »
How do Reavers clean their harpoons?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Culise

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3472 on: November 21, 2016, 11:13:35 am »
Quote from: Sergius on November 21, 2016, 10:20:07 am
How do Reavers clean their harpoons?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
What's the difference between a panda and a Reaver?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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MrRoboto75

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3473 on: November 21, 2016, 01:11:04 pm »
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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I consume
I purchase
I consume again

tonnot98

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3474 on: November 21, 2016, 02:17:56 pm »
Quote from: MrRoboto75 on November 21, 2016, 01:11:04 pm
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Beautiful.


What's black and blue and red all over?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Quote from: Spehss _ on October 19, 2015, 08:08:38 pm
Not sure if dying of old age is an honor or a shame for weaponmasters. On the one hand, it means they never got the opportunity to die in glorious battle. On the other hand, it means nothing could beat them in glorious battle.
Meow.

Insanegame27

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3475 on: November 21, 2016, 04:25:07 pm »
Quote from: Culise on November 21, 2016, 11:13:35 am
Quote from: Sergius on November 21, 2016, 10:20:07 am
How do Reavers clean their harpoons?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
What's the difference between a panda and a Reaver?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Idiots. A panda eats roots and leaves.
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Quote from: Second Amendment
A militia cannot function properly without arms, therefore the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
The military cannot function without tanks and warplanes, therefore the right of the people to keep and bear tanks and warplanes, shall not be infringed.
The military cannot function without ICBMs, therefore the right of the people to keep and bear ICBMs, shall not be infringed.

Sergius

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3476 on: November 21, 2016, 06:45:07 pm »
Bamboo shoots, I think.
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Culise

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3477 on: November 21, 2016, 07:28:50 pm »
Aye.  It's also a riff on an even older joke about a panda that walks into a resturaunt and orders the finest meal on the menu.  It finishes its meal quietly, then without warning, whips out a machine gun and guns down one of the regulars.  As it walks out, the server asks it what the heck it thinks it was doing.  In response, it simply pulls out a placard from the local zoo...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(EDIT: Typo)
« Last Edit: November 21, 2016, 07:32:21 pm by Culise »
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3478 on: November 21, 2016, 09:35:15 pm »
Quote from: Culise on November 21, 2016, 07:28:50 pm
Aye.  It's also a riff on an even older joke about a panda that walks into a resturaunt and orders the finest meal on the menu.  It finishes its meal quietly, then without warning, whips out a machine gun and guns down one of the regulars.  As it walks out, the server asks it what the heck it thinks it was doing.  In response, it simply pulls out a placard from the local zoo...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(EDIT: Typo)
They made a book on that one.
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Sigtext

Quote from: Hanslanda on April 12, 2017, 09:32:01 pm
It has been determined that Trump is an average unladen swallow travelling northbound at his maximum sustainable speed of -3 Obama-cubits per second in the middle of a class 3 hurricane.

Avis-Mergulus

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3479 on: November 22, 2016, 04:25:36 am »
Under a certain interpretation of "roots", that could be quite terrifying.
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“See this Payam!” cried the gods, “He deceives us! He cruelly abuses our lustful hearts!”
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